Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 11-12-2010, 10:04 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,632
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
I remember it too:

Love is something if you give it away,
give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away
you end up having more.

It's just like a magic penny
hold it tight and you won't have many
lend it, spend it and you'll have so many
they'll roll all over the floor.

It's one of the only good messages that church ever gave me as a child.
Yay! That's it.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-13-2010, 12:54 AM
Company's Avatar
Company Company is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I wish he'd said "in his opinion" here as it is his opinion and a judgment... ah well.
That's just the way essay writing is today. It's taken as a given that it's his opinion, and we're welcome to write him a lengthy response back if we don't like it. He should not have said "I" though, that made the message too personal.

The abundance model is really the only way you can achieve an 'absolute' security. Technically, it is a leap of faith. Maybe that's contrary to the idea of security; that it requires faith makes it less than air-tight, which would be epitome of secure. However the reality of being in control of another person and thusly dominating their time and affections is incredibly grim by comparison.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-13-2010, 01:39 AM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 228
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
I remember it too:

Love is something if you give it away,
give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away
you end up having more.

It's just like a magic penny
hold it tight and you won't have many
lend it, spend it and you'll have so many
they'll roll all over the floor.

It's one of the only good messages that church ever gave me as a child.
Thanks Derbylicious that is it.
__________________
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-13-2010, 04:12 AM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 228
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
This three point summary is from the link below... thoughts?

Path toward better open relationships. The three-point summary:

1. Inviting people to share responsibility with you allows for more fun than trying to control them.

2. There's enough (intimacy, love, sex, attention, etc.) to go around.

3. These two above ideas constitute a different paradigm for relationships than the commonly held belief of scarcity and needing to control one's lovers. If there's a conflict I'm aware of it's not between monogamous and non-monogamous relationship models but between a world view premised on abundance and autonomy vs one premised on scarcity and the need to control those in one's sphere. The two world views are not compatible, there isn't a happy mid-point compromise between them, and they aren't equally good at guiding people to be decent to each other. If you're living your life in abundance and dating somebody who believes they live in scarcity, they're the one whose world-view needs to change.

http://dirtysurface.com/ask-the-porn...polyamory-work
I really like this RP, It is a new way to look at things (for me) and don't want to hijack your thread, but a few points/questions come to mind:
1) I believe a completely monogamous couple can also live with this same philosophy of abundance and giving. Admittedly, many DON'T.
2) How do you define an open relationship exactly? Do you mean that being poly means ALWAYS being "open" to somebody else coming into the relationship and changing the dynamic? Or is there a point where you think :I have enough in my life, we are now closed. Even if there are like 6-7 people in there.
3)Our set up being Polyandrous, my wife considers our V "closed" not open. So definitions again.
__________________
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 01-31-2011, 08:34 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,632
Default

continuation of this authors ideas. Unrelated to scarcity vs. abundance. Its called a miniature polyamory practices primer
http://dirtysurface.com/ask-the-porn...actices-primer
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 01-31-2011, 03:27 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default

Hey RP,

This line of thinking surfaces in many areas these days it seems. It CAN be a delusional and dangerous approach to life if not keep in proper perspective.

I believe it roots from much of the new age style belief system/philosophy that as energy manipulators we can create realities we desire. That "belief" has force. Do I need to mention what institutions have tried that approach for the last few thousand years ?

That said, I believe and know that there are some applications where there IS some substance to this. But there are others where I believe it's simply not applicable. So to adopt this belief as a panacea for all life's needs can be very dangerous indeed.

Does it have a role in our love lives ? Maybe. As a supplement. But sitting down in the basement drawing pictures of the love of our lives and dreaming of them is not going to manifest them from the walls. Unless we fall asleep with the candle burning and it happens to be the fireman that shows up to drag our lifeless body out of the embers.

GS
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 01-31-2011, 06:10 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,186
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vodkafan View Post
Our kids used to sing a song at nursery years ago. Can't remember all the words. But it was that love is like a Magic Penny. If you keep it to yourself you have a penny but if you give it away you get more pennies back. Something like that. I guess this is the same thing.
Love is nothing 'till you give it away
give it away
give it away
Love is nothing 'til you give it away
then you end up having more

It's just like a magic penny
hold it tight and you won't have any
lend it, spend it, you'll have so many
they roll all over the floor

Damn. Just saw somebody else posted a version of it.
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02-01-2011, 03:50 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,828
Default

During my dark moments, when I am...miserable. I immediately dive into a scarcity thinking. Believing that what I lose, will be the end of what I find.

If only non-monogamy was as simple as step 1 and 2 alone. *sigh*
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 02-01-2011, 03:52 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,828
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Love is nothing 'till you give it away
give it away
give it away
Love is nothing 'til you give it away
then you end up having more

It's just like a magic penny
hold it tight and you won't have any
lend it, spend it, you'll have so many
they roll all over the floor

Damn. Just saw somebody else posted a version of it.
Cute...I have never seen this before
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 02-01-2011, 05:46 AM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,604
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Cute...I have never seen this before
You must have not gone to Sunday school...that's where I learnt it.
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
abundance, lessons, scarcity

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:32 PM.