Resenting the Wife
First thank god I found this site. First I had an affair that last 3 yrs until the wife found out just over a yr ago. Wife had a affair 20 year ago and decided to tell me about it 5 yrs ago. I wish she didn't I really do but I understand it was what she needed to do heal. After the wife found out I pulled away from the other lady but it was killing me to not have her in my life. So still talked to her but not as much and now and then we would get together intimately. I hate the lying and sneaking so after I found this site I came clean and told the wife I loved them both and wanted to make this work for all. Side note I'm black and so is my wife the other lady is Latin.I gave that so you wold understand the wifes reply. She said I was crazy and no real black women would ever do this. My take is they do but they just don't know it. I gave the other lady less and less of my time this pass yr and trying to do the right thing by my wife and her values but that made me hate me and start to resent the wife. The other lady said she had to move on and if I can get where we all can talk and make it work contact her. The lost of her is killing me to say the least. Home life is not the same and lacks energy on my part. My wife said I have always had lady friends but with no sex and I must say she is right. I love the word compersion and feel it is the only way for me at this point in my life open and honest relationship. Traditional mono marriage is all my wife can see. This is tearing us apart and I'm feeling like I'm just playing a role. I value your input and incite.