New and looking for all kinds of advice!

[room4onemore]

Hi - this is only our second post here (our first was under the introductions)...

We're a married couple that is looking to add a female partner to our relationship (we're pretty sure what we're seeking is a triad if we've got the terminology down). We've been swinging for a few years, so we know we don't have jealousy issues, at least on a physical level. We've talked about this for a few months and are pretty confident that we also won't have emotional jealousy issues, either.

There are a ton of questions that we've been trying to come up with answers to, and thought maybe people who are experienced could shed some light. Here are a few that stand out:

- does a third feel like an outsider to a long-established couple?
- what kind of living arrangements do triads typically make?
- do people live in secret or openly? If you have 'come out' as poly, how does it impact your kids socially (especially teenagers)?
- where are the best places to meet potential partners (we've looked at a few poly sites but not in depth)?

We understand that each situation can be unique, so we're only looking for some feedback to work with on a general basis. If anyone has anything to offer on the above, it will be greatly appreciated...thanks!