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Old 09-04-2009, 04:23 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Default "Coming out" as Polyamorous.

This is a thread that has come out of this link:


I thought it might be useful to someone out there to write more about how my "coming out" to my parents went and what their concerns were.... please read the other link to get an idea if you wish.

So, they had a number of concerns and questions that I need to answer at some point if I haven't done so already... here they were.

1. Is it possible that your six year old son is confused about who his Daddy is?

2. What does your husband think about you having another male partner?

3. Is it possible that your son is being sexually abused?

4. Is your son seeing too much sexual affection happening in his home? and if so, how is that affecting him?

5. Is your son made to feel different because he has two "Daddies," that are your lovers, in his life?

6. How will you explain that you have two male primary partners in your life to your sons teachers and friends parents?

7. What will you tell your relatives and how will we be able to keep our families dignity?

8. How will you ensure that you are giving your son enough of your time?

9. How is it possible that another adult be beneficial to your son?

10. Does this mean that you will be less available to the rest of your family?

11. How is polyamory benefiting your relationship with your husband?

12. Is it a legitimate option for you and your family? and how?

I can't think of anymore just now, but might add later....
This was helpful actually, it took the sting out of it for me. These questions were directed with the intention to hurt and came at us not from an inquiring mind, but a "I'm going to hurt you with my words in anyway possible" fashion. Such as was my childhood I'm afraid I felt like I was ten again. Apparently verbal abuse still abounds in my family... another topic for another thread on how I have dealt with that and them... suffice to say I am ending the cycle right here with me. And proudly as well. I'm scared shitless, as I have been very firm about what my boundaries are but if I don't, I could not be on here spouting my mouth off to others to stand up for themselves! I will not be a hypocrite now at the very least...

I look forward to your responses and again hope that some good will come out of all this in the form of information, that is open and honest for others.
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