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Old 01-23-2011, 03:56 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Originally Posted by Karma View Post
So, what's the difference between telling someone that you disagree with them on something and why that is, or why it offends or bothers you, and telling them that they are wrong about something?

Apparently, I lack the ability to disagree without making someone feel like they are wrong for their views/opinions/feelings/whatever.
Well, there's always the possibility of choice of words/examples you use. SOOOOO many people are as fragile as egg shells. The bigger the insecurity the more threatening it becomes to have your views challenged. You sometimes need to analyze the people you are speaking with in this regard before speaking. I'm one who hates sugar coating things but there are cases where the net result is important enough that it warrants it rather than losing the opportunity for forward movement.

And of course, there's the OTHER source of offense.

That what you say offends them because your view may be right/better, and they feel stupid ! Embarrassed.
The sad part about this is that in this case one of two things usually happens. They either are mature/confident enough to say "hmmmm - never considered it that way - you may be right" OR they will now cling to it like 100 rolls of duct tape because their ego can't handle the blow of being wrong - even though they now know they are !

You have to analyze your audience I guess......

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Old 01-23-2011, 04:58 PM
clairegoad's Avatar
clairegoad clairegoad is offline
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Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Well said RP. Things tend to come across alot harsher online.
And sometimes when I'm in a bad mood/not feeling well, the average comment seems like a personal attack.

Check what is said against what is meant. Many times the difference is stunning.

I remember asking point blank.." Did you mean to insult and degrade me?-- because that is what I heard."
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communication, sociology

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