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  #81  
Old 01-22-2011, 07:37 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Originally Posted by Ohiogrl View Post
Smart people are sexy. Despite their shape or size. I have always thought that.
Smart's not enough to do it for me. I know plenty of smart people I wouldn't touch with somebody else's ten foot pole. But it is a key component.

So is generosity. Personal integrity is huge for me. So is confidence. Kindness and compassion. PASSION! Definitely passion! And not just sexual. I LOVE it when someone is really passionate for a cause, or a field of study, or an art form, or whatever turns them on. Makes for great conversations, which in turn may lead to deeper sharing and then, well . . . who knows!

There are physical components, too. I used to have a definite "type" that I was attracted to, but not anymore. I dropped that mindset like a hot rock when I met Fidelio, who is not at all my type but is exactly perfect for me. Now, it is strong healthy bodies that appeal to me, and I like 'em with some substance. I'm one of the Amazon women, and I don't want to worry about breaking a lover.

For me it's not one thing or another, it's the whole package. Oh yeah, and the package matters, too!

Last edited by Fidelia; 01-22-2011 at 07:39 PM.
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  #82  
Old 01-22-2011, 10:37 PM
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Ohiogrl Ohiogrl is offline
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Originally Posted by Fidelia View Post
So is generosity. Personal integrity is huge for me. So is confidence. Kindness and compassion. PASSION! Definitely passion! And not just sexual. I LOVE it when someone is really passionate for a cause, or a field of study, or an art form, or whatever turns them on. Makes for great conversations, which in turn may lead to deeper sharing and then, well . . . who knows!
Oh Yes! All this too! I think these are all important!

I think the Smart thing is just the initial at first glance thing I go to though, I like it when someone is smarter than I am because I love to learn. I try to make all my situations, relationships or otherwise, learning situations, because with out it I get bored really fast. You can actually learn from just about anything, regardless of how smart someone is, but knowing some one is smart from the get go, gives you a good idea what your in for....

I am not sure I explained that right. LOL. I may be into smart people, but I am not especially bright myself. Hahaha!
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  #83  
Old 01-23-2011, 04:00 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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My metabolism is a wreck. I could be 150 which isn't bad because I am tall, but two years later I could be 200. Then two years later back to 150. I jump around like that constantly.
1) How tall? (My wife is 5'10" and I'm 6'4")
2) My metabolism is not quite as wonky. I have weighed in at around 170 most of my adult life.
3) I'm hoping to see a pic or two of you sometime in the future.
4) ?
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  #84  
Old 01-23-2011, 06:39 AM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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An aspect of the wieght question I find interested is that it appears it's ok to publicly comment on people's weight when they are thin/skinny..

I'm tall and thin, maybe weigh 135 and would be perhaps 5'10. I constantly hear "oh, you're so thin", "geez, you're so skinny". These types of comments come from friends, business colleagues...people at the shops !!

But yet it would seem very unacceptable to ever say "wow, you're so fat"...

I don't actually like it when people comment on my weight, it seems rude...and it would not be ok to comment if someone is big, I'd never randomly comment on someone's size - big or small.
I'm sure people say it thinking it's a compliment of some sort...it just comes across as a random comment on my body size.
A strange dual standard a think...
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  #85  
Old 01-23-2011, 05:25 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Originally Posted by bella123456 View Post
An aspect of the wieght question I find interested is that it appears it's ok to publicly comment on people's weight when they are thin/skinny..

I'm tall and thin, maybe weigh 135 and would be perhaps 5'10. I constantly hear "oh, you're so thin", "geez, you're so skinny". These types of comments come from friends, business colleagues...people at the shops !!

But yet it would seem very unacceptable to ever say "wow, you're so fat"...

I don't actually like it when people comment on my weight, it seems rude...and it would not be ok to comment if someone is big, I'd never randomly comment on someone's size - big or small.
I'm sure people say it thinking it's a compliment of some sort...it just comes across as a random comment on my body size.
A strange dual standard a think...
I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I'm 6'4" and currently weigh in at 170. I have for most of my life....However, when my wife and I met, I was severely malnourished, and weighed about 140. I heard it all the time.

I try to gain weight, however, it just doesn't happen.





Also, when I cut weight down to 155 for a fight, my wife gets upset because she says I look sick. Then I get, from heavier people, "WOW! Like YOU need to loose weight!" in response to my eating light and trying to cut weight to make weight for a fight. It still hurts people.....
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Last edited by TL4everu2; 01-23-2011 at 05:27 PM.
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  #86  
Old 01-23-2011, 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
3) I'm hoping to see a pic or two of you sometime in the future.
4) ?
Gosh, did I stumble onto okc by mistake??
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miss pixi, 37

Last edited by Magdlyn; 01-23-2011 at 09:03 PM.
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  #87  
Old 01-23-2011, 10:11 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Originally Posted by bella123456 View Post
. . . it would seem very unacceptable to ever say "wow, you're so fat"...
You might be shocked to know how often exactly this happens. It IS completely unacceptable, but it is a reality that some obese people face daily.

At least the ignorant comments to you are intended as a compliment for the most part.

In college I had a dear friend who struggled with a metabolic disorder. I forget the specifics, but she was obese. Not enormous, but definitely obese. She was also brilliant, charming, funny, energetic, hard-working, funny, loyal and very wise. She designed and made her own clothes because she hated the choices that were commerically available to her, and she was always neat as a pin and very well dressed.

She was well-loved and respected within our circle, but she dreaded going out in public, because it was not uncommon for some people to stare and comment. The stares at least were silent, but the comments! One time a half dozen of us made a supply run for a class project. At each stop, we split up the list and separated, to get the job done ASAP. In one of the stores, a strange female walked right up to my big friend and said, "No man is ever going to want you because you are so fat." Out of the blue. I saw it all and stood there dumbstruck, but another friend with us jumped right in from another aisle with, "Okay, she's fat. And you're ignorant, small-minded and ugly. She's working on her problem. What are you doing about yours?" The two of us went over to my big friend and we stood there looking at the woman until she went back to her own business. As we were leaving, one of the guys with us casually put his arm around our big friend and laid a righteous, passionate kiss on her. I was proud to be walking out the door with all of them. I just wish I had been as fast thinking as those two.
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  #88  
Old 01-23-2011, 10:26 PM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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Originally Posted by Fidelia View Post
"Okay, she's fat. And you're ignorant, small-minded and ugly. She's working on her problem. What are you doing about yours?" The two of us went over to my big friend and we stood there looking at the woman until she went back to her own business. As we were leaving, one of the guys with us casually put his arm around our big friend and laid a righteous, passionate kiss on her. I was proud to be walking out the door with all of them. I just wish I had been as fast thinking as those two.

fast thinking is a great asset !

I know I probably would have just sat there shocked and disturbed, and would have come up with a thousand replies hours later. Good on them !

Stories like that are gold though, it gives one the opportunity to think about appropriate responses. I'm going to put some thought into how I may next reply to a comment on weight..
thanks
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  #89  
Old 01-23-2011, 10:42 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
I appreciate it when fat people can say they are "fat" and it's not meant or perceived as an insult. Autumnal Tone has talked about this before.
Just saw this on rereading the thread....

Yeah, "fat" is merely a descriptive term, same as "pale," "brunette," "tall," or "short." The term indicates nothing more than that a person has enough adipose tissue to be noticeable.

I'm fat. That descriptor, however, tells you nothing of much use in most contexts. It would take a great many more descriptors to give you an inkling of my appearance and whether or not one would find me attractive.

A friend's daughter, upon meeting me, exclaimed "You're fat!" as if it were surprising. Her mother was mortified. I laughed and told the girl her grasp of the obvious was quite firm. Her mother and I were engaged in the dance of sorting out whether we wanted to date, so it was safe to say that the girl got a lesson that showed thin is not the only sexy.
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  #90  
Old 01-23-2011, 10:54 PM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
A friend's daughter, upon meeting me, exclaimed "You're fat!" as if it were surprising. Her mother was mortified. I laughed and told the girl her grasp of the obvious was quite firm. Her mother and I were engaged in the dance of sorting out whether we wanted to date, so it was safe to say that the girl got a lesson that showed thin is not the only sexy.
My mother has often told me a story of how mortified she was when I, as a child pointed at a dwarf (sorry, is that word un PC nowadays ?...should I say short statued ?) and exclaimed loudly "look how short that man is !!"

She has often told that story...so I was well prepared when my son, at age 6 did exactly the same thing at the local shops. I simply replied - yes, he is short, and there's a reason behind that which we can discuss.

And the short statued man smiled at us.
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