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  #1  
Old 01-22-2011, 08:39 AM
Bricklie Bricklie is offline
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Default New People Always Say The Same Thing, Don't We?

But you know how people are when they're new to this.

He's the most perfect creature for me I've ever met. Of course, that's what we say, isn't that right? Can I describe the protection I feel under his arm? Like night settling down on a horizon, pink and gold, like a quilt settling in on a well worn arm.

I waited almost a year before I let it get so far, this far. Forum far. His affection kept burning strong like a light, like a beacon. I don't know if I have that kind of strength.

He lives with his girl, Primary relationship, I think it's called. And she is; we respect that. When I'm with him, I'm ok with it. But I'm younger, I'm prettier at the moment. But these things fade like newsprint. What do I do when some young blog comes along?

But alone, with just us, he's the man I want to see over my morning coffee. He's the man I want my New York Times puzzle with, my hot cakes with. We could be so sublimely happy, you see. haha, maybe.

Proust said the best marriages have infidelity hovering over them like a threat. But with polyamory, it's not a threat, it's a promise.

Do y'all ever get that with this? That morning coffee?

I never bore much truck with marriage till I knew it would never happen with the one man who made me want it. Funny how that works out, eh? I'll lose it all in ten years when I'm no longer the visceral 23 year old; some other will take my place.

Anyway, this is going on a minute too long. Thank you all for your work in this field. It's a last hope for a lot of people, and if you know something I don't, please let me know. Troll if you want to. Take care.
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  #2  
Old 01-22-2011, 02:57 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Originally Posted by Bricklie View Post
............
Anyway, this is going on a minute too long. Thank you all for your work in this field. It's a last hope for a lot of people, and if you know something I don't, please let me know. Troll if you want to. Take care.
Well, I think I know something you apparently don't. Or conveniently choose to ignore ?

As nice as your wonderful, hard little 23 yr old body may be, it's NOT what is going to form a deep, binding relationship with anyone. So if you can focus on making your 'self' the best 'self' you can be, someone that is ultimately 'loveable' than you have some longevity to look forward to.
May someone still have a craving for a nice little young hard body. Of course ! That's nature's way. but it's only a small part of a much bigger picture.

Focus on the big picture

GS
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  #3  
Old 01-22-2011, 03:19 PM
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Ohiogrl Ohiogrl is offline
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I remember feeling like that when I was your age. The "He's only with me because I'm hot." thing. It's sad and depressing isn't it?

The thing I learned is that no one is going to see the unique things about you until you begin to see them about yourself. Its these sort of things that make you more than a hot body in a tight skirt. I would think you might want to take a step back and really take the time to discover who you are and what you are about in this world.

Once you have done this you will find like minded partners, who are interested in the same things as you and you wont just be the hotty anymore. You will be a person. A whole person with vast interest and a great personality. Being a cutie will just be a bonus, and if that fades, (which is debatable in itself) then it wont really matter because that is not where the underlying attractions were to begin with.

Focus on you and what you want with your life. Not who you will be staring at over coffee. You might just find, you don't like coffee and would rather have tea. =)

BTW, I don't consider using the forums as a last hope... Its a great way to vent and discuss with people who actually understand you. I have my whole life ahead of me, I don't believe in last hopes. =)
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Last edited by Ohiogrl; 01-22-2011 at 03:23 PM.
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Old 01-22-2011, 05:38 PM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
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Don't she write nice , though ? Bricklie you should be writing novels for a living. Seriously, you can put words together girl. I bet even your shopping lists are dramatic.
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Old 01-22-2011, 08:02 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Oh my, ya, I remember that 23 year old thing too... ha! ten years and you will be ugly. I'm here to tell ya that I am almost 20 years older than you and way hotter! I don't even have to look at you to know. No disrespect but at 41 women are far more confident, know that they rock, don't give a shit about what others think and live for themselves, not for someone thinking they are hot. Really, sometimes youth is a burden in the way you are talking.

I don't mean disrespect, but the BEST is yet to come. I would wonder if this guy will pan out if you are seeking someone in the way you suggest. I wonder if you should keep your eyes open for another who rocks your world just as much who is willing and available to be with you in the way you are wishing this man to be. It sounds like you have some goals that you want to achieve... it's important that you work toward them no? Enjoying what you have now of course.

You have a TON of life left to live. Sit back and enjoy, it goes real fast. I have at least half a life left and am enjoying every minute of it because some where along the line I decided to... not worry about people leaving me or what is not happening, but creating for myself what I want out of my life. Weighing everything up and adjusting to paths that work for me... it has NOTHING to do with my looks and growing old and everything to do with the soul I am, the beautiful person I am.

I hope I don't come across as condescending as this is not my intent... sometimes younger people think that when a woman has some wisdom that it should be blown off because they are old and condescending. It's unfortunate and disrespectful. I mean everything I say with respect and out of a desire to help.

Really, this man will love you for as long as he does because of who you are. Not for your hot body. If this is what he is telling you and what you are assuming because of his actions, move on. He isn't worth it as you are being used. If he is showing you respect for who you are as a person, then believe him and gain confidence from that. He loves his wife for different reasons, but both are valid
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  #6  
Old 01-24-2011, 07:29 PM
ladyslipper ladyslipper is offline
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Originally Posted by vodkafan View Post
Don't she write nice , though ? Bricklie you should be writing novels for a living. Seriously, you can put words together girl. I bet even your shopping lists are dramatic.
She writes like a pro! And an old soul. Keep it up.
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  #7  
Old 01-24-2011, 09:35 PM
Bricklie Bricklie is offline
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Default Gratitude.

Thank you all so much for the encouragement and advice--I'll do my best to integrate it into my actions.

The "I'll totally lose him in a few years/ah god he's just playing me for sex" thing is slightly toung-in-cheek, just voicing neurotic insecurities. He's never given me cause to think in that way, but I just go right ahead and freak myself out in direct spite of fact or reason. I want him so much, I assume I can't have him, that something--anything--will get in the way. I think it's a vaguely Catholic viewpoint that enjoyment must be paid for with suffering. Haha, have a prediliction for the melodramatic, apparently, both me and my shopping lists.

Thanks again for the space to vent. Can't talk to family about this, they disapprove pretty deeply for their own reasons. It's nice to indulge in at least the verbal company of the non-judgemental and knowlegable.

Vodkafan and Ladyslipper, y'all are too sweet. Thank you very much.
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  #8  
Old 01-24-2011, 10:29 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogrl View Post
I remember feeling like that when I was your age. The "He's only with me because I'm hot." thing. It's sad and depressing isn't it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Oh my, ya, I remember that 23 year old thing too... ha! ten years and you will be ugly. I'm here to tell ya that I am almost 20 years older than you and way hotter! I don't even have to look at you to know. No disrespect but at 41 women are far more confident, know that they rock, don't give a shit about what others think and live for themselves, not for someone thinking they are hot. Really, sometimes youth is a burden in the way you are talking.

I don't mean disrespect, but the BEST is yet to come.
That,
I'm about to turn 36, OMG I'm so much hotter than I was at 23. My brain is so much fuller, my knowledge of life, love, and myself is so much greater.
I remember thinking OMG life is goign to pass me by when I was 23.
But, it had barely even begun!
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Old 01-25-2011, 04:09 PM
mrladyslipper mrladyslipper is offline
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Nice writing! Need a shoot...lol
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  #10  
Old 01-25-2011, 04:48 PM
Bricklie Bricklie is offline
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Thanks much!
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