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  #11  
Old 01-22-2011, 04:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Ohiogrl View Post
Oh no kidding? You are going through the LD thing after a long time too? I am very nervous about it. I will say that. lol. It is nice to know someone else who is doing this though. I kinda thought it was something that didn't happen to often.

As far as that 16 yo, oh most definitely, NOW I check ID's, backgrounds, etc etc... I am almost overly cautious now. I try not to be... but I worry to much I guess. lol lesson learned! Big time!

Yep, we lived together for six years. I pursued my dream school in another state. So now we live two hours away from each other now, and we see each other 1-2 times month. He's mentioned that he would like us both to have someone more available for each of us. He does not like being alone. He always likes to have people around. I personally, do not feel like I have the time or energy to find an intimate connection with someone, but I would certainly invite one if it were to come about, so I am open to it!

Have you moved yet? How far away do you live from him?
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  #12  
Old 01-22-2011, 05:30 AM
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Yep, we lived together for six years. I pursued my dream school in another state. So now we live two hours away from each other now, and we see each other 1-2 times month. He's mentioned that he would like us both to have someone more available for each of us. He does not like being alone. He always likes to have people around. I personally, do not feel like I have the time or energy to find an intimate connection with someone, but I would certainly invite one if it were to come about, so I am open to it!

Have you moved yet? How far away do you live from him?
I havent moved yet, but I will be very soon. I will be about 14 hours away so it will be more like a couple times a year instead of a month. I am like you and will be very busy and not necessarily looking, due to lack of time or energy, when I go.
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  #13  
Old 01-22-2011, 03:05 PM
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Default New News.

So the Bf and I are talking to this girl from before for sure now. We have both spent a lot of time on the phone with her and will be having dinner with her this weekend. Going to take it very slow and see where it leads.
::SIGH::
I really do like her.
She is such a sweety.

Turns out she IS the real thing Bipolar. In therapy the whole nine yards. So The Bf and I have talked about how he needs to be prepared to deal with those ups and downs. If he could handle me when he first met me, while I was going through severe depression due to the Ex hubby, I bet he will be fine on dealing with this.

I really do like her.
Maybe my trust issues are a bigger deal than her flip out issues?
>_<
I think this time that might be the case.

I need to not worry on this girl. I think its all gonna be ok.

We have learned alot in the last ten years, He is being more cautious and I am loosening up, at least a tiny bit. (Maybe only a very tiny bit.)

I was looking around my house and realizing how many many things I have to do before I leave. I need to let him handle this. I simply dont have the time for it. I really need to focus on myself for a while because once again I am neglecting my own life to help out someone else. ( Nasty habit of mine.) I can be his sounding board of course if he needs me, but I cant try to fix things anymore. I need to not worry about if I trust these other prospects of his, and simply Trust in him, that he will make the right decisions.

Given the history, lol, that is a huge thing for me to do... But I am going to try to do it. I wont be here after all, and We are Both gonna have to learn how to operate on our own. Something else I figured out yesterday. LOL.

It only makes sense to make things easier for us instead of complicating thins worse during this separation. We are still meandering around how to do that, but I guess it will come with time, trial and error, just like it did before.
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  #14  
Old 01-22-2011, 03:10 PM
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Wow...at the beginning of your blog I was going to say something about sometimes not meeting the best people right away when opening a relationship. But the story about thy lying 16 year old and her mom really takes the cake on bad poly experiences!

There are a lot of good, decent people in the world. Not everything is going to be drama filled with everyone you meet. I'm a big fan of being friends first. If dating and romance aren't something immediately on the table there's less reason to pretend to be something your not.

Is the long distance thing with your boyfriend going to be permanent? Once or twice a year of seeing him is going to be tough on your relationship, especially if there isn't any end date on it being long distance.
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  #15  
Old 01-22-2011, 03:33 PM
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Wow...at the beginning of your blog I was going to say something about sometimes not meeting the best people right away when opening a relationship. But the story about thy lying 16 year old and her mom really takes the cake on bad poly experiences!

There are a lot of good, decent people in the world. Not everything is going to be drama filled with everyone you meet. I'm a big fan of being friends first. If dating and romance aren't something immediately on the table there's less reason to pretend to be something your not.

Is the long distance thing with your boyfriend going to be permanent? Once or twice a year of seeing him is going to be tough on your relationship, especially if there isn't any end date on it being long distance.

LOL That girl took two or three cakes actually! It was terrible.

I am huge on being friends first or at least taking the time to get to know some one like you say. When I met my BF He couldn't even get my shirt off in the first three months. lol I move Slow! And I dont do Fuck buddies you know? If I am not going to be in a relationship, I wont get sexual with someone. Simple as that. Moving slow is an aspect he has to work on, and I need to not be barking at him to remind him of this lol.

Seperation will be about 2 years, 3 at the most. We have a whole LT plan worked out for life, we will just have to see if life works with us on that. =)
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  #16  
Old 01-22-2011, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Ohiogrl View Post
I am huge on being friends first or at least taking the time to get to know some one like you say. When I met my BF He couldn't even get my shirt off in the first three months. lol I move Slow! And I dont do Fuck buddies you know? If I am not going to be in a relationship, I wont get sexual with someone. Simple as that. Moving slow is an aspect he has to work on, and I need to not be barking at him to remind him of this lol.
I work much the same way as you do. As for him not moving slow, I think that's just kind of a guy thing. Sometimes the little head takes over .
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  #17  
Old 01-22-2011, 03:51 PM
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Oh and I'm glad LD isn't going to be a permanent thing. After 10 years a couple of years apart is manageble. I've had some experience there
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  #18  
Old 01-22-2011, 04:19 PM
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my theory is if Military families can handle it then we can too. at least we can pick up the phone as we please, and no one is in actual danger. =)
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  #19  
Old 01-23-2011, 10:05 PM
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Default Argh!

I hate my memory some days!

I am having an AWFUL time finding a post by somebody, in a thread about something, that may have been unrelated, grrrr.

Yeah, I am not having a good time with this.

Basically , someone at some point of time mentioned something about being able to feel someones energy even from long distances, almost in a psychic manner of speaking? They gave a Buddhist name for this phenomena I think, and I want to know what that is... only... now I cant find it. LOL

If anyone remembers seeing that, or if you are the person who wrote it, please let me know? Or send a link? I am extremely interested in this.

Thanks everyone!

UPDATE!

FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!! Seriously it took me like 3 and a half hours of scrolling through every thread I read in the last few days. LOL

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...ection&page=15

TL4everu2 Says: "In japanese, this is called Shin Pa Tan. Or "Short Mind Waves". Very similar to short wave radio. The feelings can be felt over long distances, so the parties involved can often know when the other is hurting, or about to call them, or feelings of lonliness, or loss."
I have always been able to do this, but did not know the word for it. Thanks so much for your post TL4everu2 where you mentioned it! It was very helpful to me for all kinds of reasons!
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Last edited by Ohiogrl; 01-24-2011 at 02:38 AM.
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  #20  
Old 01-26-2011, 08:33 AM
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Default absence notice:

Had a death in the family and also need to get on the ball with packing. I may not post for a while. I will try to keep up when I am settled.
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