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  #11  
Old 01-20-2011, 03:34 PM
g71 g71 is offline
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Thanks for the feedback ladies I appreciate it.
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  #12  
Old 01-20-2011, 06:17 PM
Laylah Laylah is offline
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and MY goodness.... I got 3 kids to.. and they keep me hopping all the time lol. 2 boys and a girl. Never boreing for sure... another question is HOW would you have the energy to keep up with a baby to.... the whole thing is kind of confusing
good lord i read it wrong.. she's got 4 kids. WHEW....
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  #13  
Old 01-21-2011, 02:47 AM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
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Default Hi

This post might help you understand the definition of "Unicorn"http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...70&postcount=4

Also, the reason why we are confused (me, anyway) is that your post implies that you are looking for a straight, monogamous marriage of a sort of odd personal convenience (no judgment or offense intended).

This is a site dedicated to the discussion of polyamory...sooo....my guess is that you are very unlikely to find what you seek here.

May I ask why you chose to husband/baby daddy shop on this forum in particular?

Jest askin'
-R
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  #14  
Old 01-21-2011, 03:21 AM
g71 g71 is offline
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I post in this forum because I have been the second wife in a relationship for almost 10 years.

Before that I dated as a bisexual polyamorous single.

Therefore I not only know what the unicorn was, I was/am one.

Im my current situation wife one is legally married and reaps all the benefits therein.

For a lot of reasons, including that I don't seem to be worthy of a legal marriage even for a little while. I have decided that at 40 I am going to start over again. This time in a position of being "wife one", primary what-have-you.

Unless I am looking in all the wrong places though, all my initial encounters with men seems to be that they are all already legally married.

Sorry I haven't been clear so far...still appreciate the responses just the same!

G
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  #15  
Old 01-21-2011, 03:41 AM
Laylah Laylah is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by g71 View Post
I post in this forum because I have been the second wife in a relationship for almost 10 years.

Before that I dated as a bisexual polyamorous single.

Therefore I not only know what the unicorn was, I was/am one.

Im my current situation wife one is legally married and reaps all the benefits therein.

For a lot of reasons, including that I don't seem to be worthy of a legal marriage even for a little while. I have decided that at 40 I am going to start over again. This time in a position of being "wife one", primary what-have-you.

Unless I am looking in all the wrong places though, all my initial encounters with men seems to be that they are all already legally married.

Sorry I haven't been clear so far...still appreciate the responses just the same!

G
im curious... what benefits would you receive if you were legally married...
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  #16  
Old 01-21-2011, 11:15 PM
g71 g71 is offline
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Health insurance, tax benefits, respectibility in the outer world. If he's already established in the world, then I will either have to have new friends with him or be subjected to scorn somewhat.
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  #17  
Old 01-22-2011, 12:15 AM
Laylah Laylah is offline
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Originally Posted by g71 View Post
Health insurance, tax benefits, respectibility in the outer world. If he's already established in the world, then I will either have to have new friends with him or be subjected to scorn somewhat.
WOW.... just WOW. I never thought i'd actually run into a person such as yourself. your wanting to be KEPT. if im wrong.. forgive me... but if im right oh lord have mercy on you. Cause what you get in those kinds of relationships alot of the time is NOT worth the benefits you are wanting. lol

well good luck in your search... and I hope and PRAY you dont get with some abusive asshole that thinks because he provides for you..... that your his PROPERTY.. and can do any damn thing he wants with you.

always remember.... theres some things thats worse than being by yourself.
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  #18  
Old 01-22-2011, 02:54 AM
g71 g71 is offline
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Good points. No I don't want to be kept...I can provide all these items for myself if I were able to secure a job, but I haven't been able to so far.

I appreciate the feedback enabling me to get to the heart of what it is that I am REALLY wanting.

Thanks!
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  #19  
Old 01-22-2011, 07:40 AM
Laylah Laylah is offline
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Originally Posted by g71 View Post
Good points. No I don't want to be kept...I can provide all these items for myself if I were able to secure a job, but I haven't been able to so far.

I appreciate the feedback enabling me to get to the heart of what it is that I am REALLY wanting.

Thanks!
yeah but dont you see.. marrying someone for these things is a bad path to go down. If you were to marry someone just because you didnt have a job and all.. then in fact in alot of men's eyes you WOULD be "kept"..And thats just the way alot of men and women to look at things like that. My husband and I have been together for 11 years. and I am his equal. Not beneath Nor behind... but beside.

There are alot of men out there that would just LOVE you.... why... because they provide what you want... but the catch is..... you provide what THEY want.. every sorrid little thing.... sometimes things nightmares are made of. I am speaking the truth on this... and I am sure alot of folks here would say the same....
Getting into a relationship like that could be Dangerous. For your mental state as well as the physical. The chance of meeting a person who wouldnt do you that way is one in a million. Not saying its impossible... but it would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

and for the utmost consideration.... think of the children.. they would be heartbroken if they were in a situation like that... seeing that kinda thing.
I am not saying anyone here would do such a horrible thing to their spouses... but theres is a world full of men and women who would.

I suppose what I am saying is think LONG and HARD on such things as that. And look at it from all angles... NEVER get into a relationship for the wrong reasons.. never do it for anything except you want to spend the rest of your life with the person or people you love. Because its never just about you... things you do effect everyone connected to you...

and like I said before.... there are some things thats worse than being alone.
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  #20  
Old 01-22-2011, 08:38 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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I would like to offer a very different perspective, if I may.

Quote:
Originally Posted by g71 View Post
. . . I have been the second wife in a relationship for almost 10 years.
. . .
Im my current situation wife one is legally married and reaps all the benefits therein.

For a lot of reasons, including that I don't seem to be worthy of a legal marriage even for a little while. I have decided that at 40 I am going to start over again. This time in a position of being "wife one", primary what-have-you.
[/B]
It sounds to me like what you're looking for is a new situation to cure problems in your current situation. That is a lot of baggage to load onto a new relationship and not many would be able to stand the strain.

If you feel you are not being fairly treated with respect to taxes, insurance, etc. you are completely justified to insist that your partners work with you to redress that unfairness. There is always a way to find a fair balance; sometimes "equal" is an unreasonable expectation, but fair is always possible.

Unfortunately, social respectability is not something that can be conferred from within your triad. Those are choices every single member of our society makes, and somehow some weird form of consensus is reached, based on all sorts of conscious and unconscious influences and enculturations. But you probably knew that going into the relationship, and decided it didn't matter, or not enough to deter you from going ahead. But it matters to you now. Fair enough; people change. Have you done everything you can to address these issues with your partners? For instance, there are countries where plural marriage is legal. Even within the Western world, there are areas where alternative lifestyles like poly are much more openly tolerated, even if they aren't recognized legally. Have y'all looked seriously at relocating?

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do. I hope you find what you're looking for.
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