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  #11  
Old 01-20-2011, 04:06 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Yes, I would agree that polygamy is a form of polyamory, but a lot of poly (non polygamous) people feel reluctant to be associated with very religious polygyny that's sometimes forced on young girls, etc.
Personally I see it in the same was as monogamy not necessarily meaning forced marriages even if we all know that can happen. As far as I'm concerned, any poly relationship in which at least one person has more than one primary qualifies as polygamy.
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  #12  
Old 01-20-2011, 04:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciselove View Post
Isn't polygamy covered under polyamory?

"Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved."

Just feels weird when someone says "that's a polygamy term not a poly term".
Polygamy involves conjugal unions, ie: it's a form of Marriage.

Polyamory is about relationships...romantic, and generally intimate. But as any long married person could tell you, romance and marriage don't necessarily have anything to do with each other.
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  #13  
Old 01-20-2011, 04:30 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
Polygamy involves conjugal unions, ie: it's a form of Marriage.

Polyamory is about relationships...romantic, and generally intimate. But as any long married person could tell you, romance and marriage don't necessarily have anything to do with each other.
But since marriage to more than one person isn't allowed in most western cultures, I think using that term for marriage-like relationships as well makes a lot of sense. After all, even what's commonly thought of as polygamy isn't legal polygamy.
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  #14  
Old 01-20-2011, 04:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
But since marriage to more than one person isn't allowed in most western cultures, I think using that term for marriage-like relationships as well makes a lot of sense. After all, even what's commonly thought of as polygamy isn't legal polygamy.
That's why the anti-polygamy laws in Canada are so contentious for org's like the CPAA. While the gov may not recognize or allow multiple conjugal unions legally, it doesn't prevent defacto unions from being made anyways, if by a non-recognized ceremony or by something more resembling common law marriage.

Either way, the key distinction between polygamy and polyamory at a basic level will be that polygamy is dealing in multiple spouses, regardless of legality, recognitions, or cause.

While some polyamorists may be interested in and even enter into marriage type situations, the scope of polyamory is more broadly focused on the ethical conduct of multiple relationships. A lot of polyamorist relationships have no resemblance to marriage.
At the same time, as can be seen in some of they testimony around the reference case in BC, polygamy doesn't always resemble ethical either.

Polyamory and polygamy have subsets that intersect, but neither is directly related to the other. They're close cousins, not entirely unlike poly & swinging, or ham and jam (Both can be great in Sandwiches, but there's many other options too).
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Old 01-20-2011, 06:06 AM
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I call my husband, Maca, "honey" or "M". I introduce him as my husband or his given name.

I call my boyfriend, GG, "M'ebe". I introduce him as my boyfriend or his given name.

I call Mimi my sister. I introduce her as my sister. (she's part of our poly-quad-family, but she's not sexually involved with any of us).

Our kids:
I call Spicy Pea "idjet" (been her nickname since she was born).
I call Salty Pea "D" (cause that's what the baby calls him and it's cute).
I call Sweet Pea "sweet pea" or "my sexy baby" (cause when he was 2-3 he thought it wasn't fair I said his daddy was sexy)
I call Sour Pea "love bug" or "baby".

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  #16  
Old 01-20-2011, 04:08 PM
preciselove preciselove is offline
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Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
Either way, the key distinction between polygamy and polyamory at a basic level will be that polygamy is dealing in multiple spouses, regardless of legality, recognitions, or cause.
I think most here understand what polygamy is, I just feel that polyamory covers polygamy under its scope. They aren't separate, it's similar to something like poly fidelity being a subset of polyamory. People may not want to associate polyamory with polygamy for various political reasons, but until the the definition of polyamory changes or adds some limiters it's fairly obvious (to me anyhow) polygamy is a form of polyamory.

I've even seen people here and in other poly circles eagerly awaiting the results of the polygamy trials to see if it will affect them (how could it affect them if what they were doing wasn't related?).

In reality, polyamory is too broad a term and doesn't explain much about a relationship or what you're into really. It can easily confuse someone if you say you're polyamorous because you're instantly related to every single fringe relationship type that exists if they do some research.

Due to the current small size of the poly movement we would lose a lot of power if we started splintering into our own subsections and started fighting purely for them, I would think?
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  #17  
Old 01-20-2011, 04:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciselove View Post
Due to the current small size of the poly movement we would lose a lot of power if we started splintering into our own subsections and started fighting purely for them, I would think?
Movement? Power? Fight? Not all of us are activists.

This argument does not help the OP with their question, so I'm sorry to contribute the threadjack! Preciselove, maybe you should start a new thread on the topic.
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  #18  
Old 01-20-2011, 05:13 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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What bugs me with the idea that polygamy and polyamory are two completely different things that just happen to intersect is that to me polygamy is a subscategory of polyamory, and it can be done wrong, just like poly can be done wrong and lead to trouble.

But to me, polyamory means the ability to be in love with more than one person at a time, or the practice of having more than one partner at a time. It's not a "movement", it's a relationship orientation. And as much as people want to include "equality of the sexes" and things like that into the definition, I disagree, unless we redefine monogamy to exclude the possibility of inequality between the sexes as well.
Some polyamorous, non-polygamous relationships aren't egalitarian. Some are one way (you can date women but not men/ I can date other people but you can't) and everyone involved is fine with the decided rules, as much as it might seem unfair from the outside.
Religious polygyny seems unfair from the outside to a lot of people, but I entirely believe that it has the potential to be done right, with the consent and knowledge of everyone involved, which is what polyamory is all about.
The fact that there can be abuse in polygamy doesn't make it a different category in my opinion, as there can be abuse in all relationships and that doesn't cause them not to be considered relationships anymore.

Polyamory is about having more than one partner. Polygamy is about having a marriage-like relationship with more than one partner. Therefore polygamy is a form of polyamory, just like monogamous marriage is a form of monogamy, and both polyamory and monogamy are types of relationships.

If you take your all arguments and replace "polyamory" with "monogamy" and "polygamy" with "monogamous marriage", I'm sure you can see that "monogamy and monogamous marriage are two different entities that just happen to intersect" sounds wrong. (Unless you think it doesn't because forced marriages exist and it somehow makes it nonmonogamous, and then I'd love to hear your reasoning).
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  #19  
Old 01-20-2011, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
But to me, polyamory means the ability to be in love with more than one person at a time, or the practice of having more than one partner at a time. It's not a "movement", it's a relationship orientation. And as much as people want to include "equality of the sexes" and things like that into the definition, .
This! And of course this is only my opinion (errr and obviously Tonberry's) and binds no one else to subscribing.
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