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Old 01-18-2011, 06:15 PM
Laylah Laylah is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: alabama
Posts: 51

Originally Posted by lovinhimloviner View Post
I don't think like other people I guess so I thought I would ask your opinion on the bed situation.

My husband's GF lives about an hour away. When she comes over I want her to feel comfortable in our home. The first night she came over I left to go to a friends house for girls night out. I made sure there were clean bed clothes and a couple candles on the headboard. I didn't think a anything about it. She ended up not staying the night because she wasn't sure how the kids would react the next morning. H said she seemed uncomfortable getting into our bed. I felt kind of offended at first. I worried that is why she left. It is just a piece of furniture. All of the love and togetherness feeling comes from having H right there with me. After reading some of the restrictions that have been places on some of the relationships I realize that people have an issue with having others in their bed. I guess what I am asking is where do they sleep while she is here if not in the bed? I just always figured I would take the couch and they could have the bed. I want them to be able to sleep together but I don't want to push her into something she is uncomfortable with.
well me personally i dont care if the lady sleeps in my bed..... the ONLY peice of furniture in the house I dont want nobody to be in much is my CHAIR.... im kinda like archie bunker about my chair lol.
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:59 AM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

I can imagine that for some people, allowing somebody else to use your bed (sleep with your mutual partner in your bed - the one you and that partner usually share) could be a way of controlling the other relationship. (You always have the power to retract the permission.) And for some people, sleeping in somebody else' bed would make you feel at a disadvantage (in their power / "owing them one" - though maybe not that defined or even conscious of it). Maybe lovinhimloviner's partner's GF feels the latter?

lovinhimloviner, at least you changed the sheets! I used to stay at a 3-flat (3-apartment) [young] anarchists' living space whenever I visited the city. I was told to take whatever bed was available, nobody cared about my using their sheets*, and if the bed's usual occupant happened to change plans and come home after I was in their bed, they'd just toddle off and find somebody else' vacant bed.

* I know, I know: I could have taken my own sheets or a sleeping bag, but I wasn't bothered that much either (for the one night). I could always shower before and after... But if I thought that an absence of 2 weeks from my home meant that potentially 14 different people had slept in my bed / sheets, I'd feel a bit queasy.
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