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Old 01-18-2011, 03:02 PM
detritus's Avatar
detritus detritus is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 34
Default New to poly in Seattle

Hi everyone. I'm a bi woman married to a straight man. We always agreed more with Goldie Hawn's thoughts on marriage ("I wake up every day knowing I can walk out at any moment. It [that knowledge] that keeps things fresh.") but when great health insurance benefits were waved in our faces about 8 months ago we decided to get married. Romantic right?

That same sentiment that our relationship should be a choice we make every single day is part of what made us consider polyamory, although neither of us feels like we are necessarily intrinsically poly and can't have a mono relationship. Since we first started dating five years ago, we regularly talk about crushes we have, flirt with other people, etc. without feeling jealous (even when other people tell us we should feel jealous). So we thought a lot about why our commitment to each other means sexual exclusivity and decided to try opening our relationship about a year and a half ago. My husband had a brief prior experience with poly in a past relationship, but this is all new to me.

Until fairly recently we were just open in theory. Well, kind of. He went on two dates with a woman about a year and a half ago and that fizzled out of it's own accord--but both of us handled it poorly and we decided to do a lot more talking about our expectations and assumptions before trying again. Fast forward to now when it's a lot more real. He has been dating another woman for about 3 weeks, and my emotions are all over the place in ways I never really expected. So I decided to join this board to get some advice and support because I don't feel like there are lot of people IRL I can go to.

Last edited by detritus; 01-18-2011 at 03:03 PM. Reason: clarification
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