Looking ahead - St Valentines Day

[Ariakas]

Currently not looking forward to valentines day...not at all

[TruckerPete]

Originally Posted by ariakas

currently not looking forward to valentines day...not at all

*hug*

[LovingRadiance]

Maybe we could skip that day this year?
That would certainly make my life simpler!
I'm so not up to another fucked up Valentine's Day. I'd MUCH MUCH prefer to just skip it and have a normal day without a bunch of fucking drama.

[redpepper]

why do they have Valentine's day at this time of year anyway... like really, most of the time no one is up for it. Everyone is moody and sullen due to the winter blues... at least up here in Canada. The last thing most people want to do is express their love for others when they would rather curl up in a ball and continue hibernating.

[LovingRadiance]

I'm so up for hibernating it's not funny.

[Tonberry]

Curl up in a ball under the covers... all together!

[ray]

So, since I've never really dated anyone, I started getting apprehensive when Valentine's day began to loom in the near future. My senior year of high school, a platonic male friend of mine and myself went on pretend date to the local corner store and had hot dogs. It was fun. But I digress. Because O doesn't really keep track of time, dates, holidays, anniversaries of any kind, he doesn't usually think to talk about it beforehand. Dates (meaning memorials and anniversaries/holidays) are very important to me. Our relationship is somewhat ambiguous. We don't use the boyfriend/girlfriend label since A isn't okay with that. On the other hand, we're definitely more than friends with benefits. Then there's the fact that we don't have sex (A, again). We don't celebrate anniversaries. We spend a lot of time together and we're emotionally close. I am mostly ok with the setup but I'd be lying if I said I was totally ok with it. I respect it because I really value being with O and I'd rather put up with the red tape than not be with him at all. We would like for things to be able to go further but A is simply not comfortable. I figured that they would have plans for V-Day (which they do) and we are a Vee so I don't really want in on those. But I knew that I definitely wanted us (O and I) to do something. So, tonight I finally worked up the courage to ask him if we might be able to do something for Valentine's day. I hated that I even had to ask. I wish sometimes that I was in a relationship where I could assume that they would do something for me for V-Day. It's not like I want someone to buy me a fucking pony and a rose garden. Just to be able to celebrate what we feel together. I explained how I wasn't sure what I should expect given how he's not really my boyfriend but he's not just a friend either. He said that he thought a date (just the two of us) would be pushing it (likely from A's perspective). He asked me to think of what I wanted to do/have. And I just felt at a loss for anything. He'd suggested flowers and chocolate but I mean I'm having blood sugar issues so why the hell do I want chocolate....and I mean, it's kind of cliche. And I'm a quality time person so I immediately thought of getting to spend some time alone. I didn't immediately jump to 'date.' But it would be nice. I'm kind of ranting but I could use some thoughtful advice and suggestions for what you might do. I mean, he did say he'd do something, but I still feel incredibly shitty and uncertain about what to think. Blargh. I wish that valentine's day didn't matter to me. But it seems that it does.

[LovingRadiance]

What about asking him to write you a letter telling you what you mean to him and why?

I mean-it sort of sounds silly when I write it-but of every gift I've ever gotten, the ones that have meant the most, were letters telling me just how much I mean to the other person and why............

[TruckerPete]

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance

What about asking him to write you a letter telling you what you mean to him and why?

I mean-it sort of sounds silly when I write it-but of every gift I've ever gotten, the ones that have meant the most, were letters telling me just how much I mean to the other person and why............

My thoughts, exactly!

Also, if you're not able to celebrate that day, why not make the day before or after your day together? I know it's not the same as doing things the day of, but it might be better than whatever compromise (if any) you'd have for the actual day.

[LovingRadiance]

We never celebrate Christmas on December 25th. Because of the "mine, his, ours" status with the kids, it was common for the "mine/his" children to be at their other parents home.
So we just made a deal a year into our relationship to celebrate a week later, then told the other parent they could always have their kid on Christmas.

Don't see why you can't pick another "Valentine's Day" date for yourselves.