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  #31  
Old 11-11-2010, 04:13 PM
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I would suggest starting with vacation rentals, one to two weeks at a time.
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  #32  
Old 11-21-2010, 05:27 PM
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Originally by MyotherB in A poor man's therapy:
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** I also told her I need her to be more available to me. Feeling that she simply isn't interested in me is tearing me up, and I told her so. I believed her when she said she was sorry, mostly because she was hesitant to make s promise she couldnt keep, so she was being genuine..
For some reason this quote hits home with me today. Breathes is nearly always physically available to me (except sexually which is hit & miss) but emotionally & mentally he's eons away! We used to be able to have talks which did NOT include puns, smart assed remarks or just simply shutting down! These are all defense mechanisms on his part but they are driving me totally batty! There is so much I need to talk about but I'm hesitant to talk to him because I know the odds are against me that I'll get a real conversation . Every once in a great while I'll get a full conversation, more than a few words, that don't include any of the above *sigh*.

Hmmmmmmmm, he just invited me to come & attack him! *grinz* maybe back later.
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  #33  
Old 11-27-2010, 12:01 PM
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I'm a little bit perturbed.

I was supposed to meet up with someones from this forum last weekend. Unfortunately one of them ended up ill--not a problem, these things happen. I emailed them that was OK & gave a list of times & places to meet up today. I still haven't heard back. This is the second time I haven't heard back in a timely fashion. The first time I thought that maybe the message had gotten lost in the aether so resent. Twice in less than a week? I'm starting to think they're not all that interested in meeting *sigh*. Ah well, onward I go to bigger and better things.

A tough time of year is coming up...Christmas and winter with it's lack of sunshine. I enjoy Christmas with the lights and decorations although I can NOT stand the commercialism that is Christmas today. Breathes' can't stand it, he has some bad associations with it. Possibility is another religion although he does celebrate Yule.

I need to find a way to get across to Breathes that for me Christmas isn't about the gift giving, it's about family and friends and the FEELINGS associated with Christmas. I couldn't care less about the gift giving and the like. I would much rather be with family and friends, talking and having a good time than I would sitting around the tree opening presents & having others open theirs & seeing the disappointment on their faces because it isn't exactly what they wanted.

I'm hoping that this year will be a least at little bit different. His sister and her family will be up from North Carolina this year. Her three kids have never had a present from him before so he wants to be able to give them that in spades! We've also been invited to adored friend's house during the week she's off to have a non-Christmas get together with dinner, etc.

This time of year is also about depression due to lack of sunlight. Possibility gets this in spades. It's already started in fact. He's using his sunlamp but there's so much else going on that's not so good right now that he's having a hard time seeing the good in life.

I've started my gratitudes list on LiveJournal in order to try to stave off my own depression *sigh*. Being able to verbalize what makes me happy, helps me to see that life isn't all bad, there are some good aspects to it too.
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  #34  
Old 12-13-2010, 03:57 PM
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There have been various posts about communication, & the lack of, here & there in the places I visit frequently.

A lot of times it isn't about the communication itself but about the different communication STYLES and the people involved.

I do well with both written & verbal communication although my forte is with the written word since I have a problem communicating my emotions & feelings verbally without having it blow up on me.

Breathes isn't doing well, lately, with any communication style other than distancing himself from loved ones so he doesn't take out his frustrations on those closest to him. Most of it starts around his birthday & continues on through Christmas & New Year's. Normally he prefers face to face verbal communication since, to him, the written word can't convey the feelings and emotions involved.

Possibility does better with the written word. It forces him, to some extent, to concentrate on what he's saying rather than having just a jumble of thoughts and emotions trying to force their way to the fore in a way which isn't conducive to effective communication.

Not really sure where I'm going with this but just wanted to get my thoughts down for some reason.
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:35 AM
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Yesterday was my birthday!

I'm now young enough to know better & old enough to do it any way! lol

I was supposed to go see Jeff Dunham Saturday night as a gift from Breathes. Unfortunately, due to someone's faulty 69 year old memory we didn't have a reliable vehicle to get there . Adored friend drove her winter beater. Unfortunately it decided to over heat less than an hour out of town (. We didn't make it there, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We did have an enjoyable evening yesterday though. There were five of us here for dinner & fellowship . Meatloaf, veggies, mashed potatoes & Raspberry Red Velvet cake were to be had .

I had both of my guys here with me as well as adored friend and another friend . We watched Just Wright starring Queen Latifah. Really good movie, that woman can make even crepe paper look sexy! mrawr! The only thing that could have made it better would have been to have Halle Berry here to watch it with us, lol.
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  #36  
Old 12-22-2010, 01:11 PM
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There is a reason I call my blog Good Times....for the most part my life is pretty good. It has its glitches & up and down moments but it's still good.

Possibility seems to have inherited the ick from me so wasn't feeling up to par last night so he just went home from work instead of coming here for our normal movie night. I knew early enough in the day that he wasn't coming so was able to make plans with adored friend! That's something we don't get to do very often any more...pretty much since she moved out of town .

A little shopping and a whole lot of laughing thanx to http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/. I laughed until I cried & texted her to come save me before I laughed myself to death, lmao.

Breathes has been more physically affectionate lately. I haven't gotten to the bottom of the reason yet & I'm not complaining but...wow!....he's cuddling instead of rubbing and massaging my feet/back/neck/shoulders! He's actually right there beside me instead of on the other end of the couch! I love it but am, at the same time, baffled by his change in behavior. Could it have something to do with ALL his living family being together for Christmas?

This is the first Christmas his sister and family will be here for Christmas. The first time his nieces and nephew have gotten to spend the holiday with their Mom's family! They won't be here for long, probably Saturday to Wednesday, but they will be here! Nephew is 11 so it's not a short time since sis was here for Christmas.

He may be closer physically but he seems to be pulling away mentally and emotionally. Maybe that's the reason for the physical closeness?

Possibility celebrates Yule but is bummed. He wasn't able to go to the Yule celebration last Saturday . It was too early in the day and he had to work way past the time they would have had to leave in order to get there in time.

Possibility seemed to be having a hard time yesterday. He officially started his diet last Wednesday & yesterday was the first time he's asked for coffee! Coffee isn't on his banned list but cream is, lol, & he can't drink coffee without it. For clarification I'm his Mistress & am trying to guide him through this so he can get to a more healthy weight and be happier with himself and who/what he is.
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  #37  
Old 12-29-2010, 03:53 PM
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Christmas went really well. The first time in a lot of years for me, emotionally any way.

I got what I wanted, a few surprises as well.

The two biggest gifts though? There was no arguing and stress over when to do Christmas dinner and what to eat for it. Usually my brother (Mom before that) insisted on a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings. I didn't want that. Breathes doesn't like turkey and it's one of those things I can live without although I don't have an aversion to it. Breathes' family dinner was Christmas day & since it was the first time his younger sister has been here for Christmas, children and husband in tow, in a lot of years he really wanted to go. We did a brunch with my family which turned out really well. Nobody came away totally stuffed and I was able to sit back, relax and visit since I did most of the cooking here in the couple of days before.

Breathes' family Christmas was good as well. A full house for Oma. She was super stressed as per normal, hadn't eaten all day naturally. I managed to get a piece of breakfast pizza, left over from our brunch, into her & some of us helped her finish up with fixing dinner hoping she would relax and just enjoy having everyone there. It didn't work in getting her stress levels down although I do believe she enjoyed having everyone there. It was the kids first experience with snow so they were overjoyed, lol. The food was good, company exceptional, my stress level was good so I count it as a win.

The other gift was a complete and total surprise! I did not plan it. My older son didn't give me attitude! He didn't complain about any of his presents (although I did hear "yes! No boxers this year!") He was watching the movie he got when we left for my dad's even. To top it all off he spent some of his own hard earned cash to get me a present! He put a little thought into it, bought it last minute but I'm really proud of him! He didn't have to be prodded and he didn't have to ask for the money to get it!

I am really longing for my alone time though *sigh*. There hasn't been much in the way of peace and quiet (my version means me, home, alone, with no sounds what so ever other than the bird chirping!). One or the other, or both, of my kids have been here every day. I wouldn't mind so much if the one who is here most often could learn that I do have a limit to jokes and puns and smart mouthiness! There is a time for fun and games and a time for more serious stuff. He's 15 now & we've been trying for a very long time to drum this in to his thick skull but he's just not getting it. I'm glad he likes to make people laugh but there IS a limit *sigh*. Getting him and Breathes in the same room virtually means that I have no hope at all of having a calm and peaceful evening. They are very much alike even though they are in no way related. In the typical male way he doesn't do subtle. Unfortunately he doesn't do blunt and to the point either. He takes absolutely everything as a joke & doesn't clue in to the fact that I'm serious until way past my breaking point.

Monday Possibility and I were supposed to get together but my son was here so he didn't come over. Yesterday was our regular date night, son was here again. Possibility came over and we watched disk 2 of The Lord of the Rings then went out because he just couldn't handle my son yesterday. We ended up at his place where we finally got some alone time for an hour or so. Ironic, really. His house is full with two primary partners, two kids, three cats and a dog. Everyone but us stayed upstairs & left us alone downstairs to watch an episode of Criminal Minds.

I got home, vented to Breathes for a few minutes then we went our separate ways for an hour or so so I could kill things online instead of taking it out on someone who in no way deserved my wrath. (A midol helped immensely as well.)
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  #38  
Old 01-15-2011, 01:49 PM
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I don't know what I want or need to say, there's just something telling me I need to write for some reason. I'm sure it'll become apparent to me as I write *shrug*.

Breathes still hasn't talked to FWB about changing their relationship. The few times they've gotten together she's been the bitch from hell & he, understandably, doesn't want to deal with adding to her already bad attitude. B.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what I'm going to call her! B.A. for bad attitude! (Sorry A-Team. I like Mr. T. but this nic really fits her.)

He learned, once again, how thoughtless she is as a friend. As I've mentioned he's not so keen on Christmas but really appreciates it when someone puts at least a little thought into a present because it shows they do pay attention and know you. For her present to him she got him a couple of boxes of macaroons! He loves macaroons but he's not seeing the fact that she does at least know that about him. He's seeing the fact she didn't put much thought or effort into a gift for him. To add to the hurt she had the audacity to tell him that she got them AFTER Christmas when they were on sale! This did not go very far towards making him feel loved & special! I love him with all my heart but it tears me up knowing he's upset about something and I'm unable to do anything about it other than hold him & let him know I care.

Possibility's attitude has improved quite a bit. His stress levels have dropped to more acceptable & manageable levels although he may just have a break down if we don't get some play time in soon, lol.

We all got together on NYE, along with a few other people, at Possibility's house. It could have gone better, for sure. There were a few things actually, which could have gone a lot better.

I've got to learn to talk to his wife directly rather than waiting on him to get an answer or reply to a request (his request no less). It seems he gave his wife minimal notice that there would be a bunch of people there. I reminded him numerous times to talk to her, let her know, but I think it was only the day before that he let her know (might have been earlier in the day, not sure). He has started up a FB group for just the five of us so we can keep in contact. Unfortunately it seems I'm the only one who uses it to communicate with the others *sigh*. I posted there today to see if/when we can have another family get together. I'm waiting on that to see if anyone else replies. His wife now knows that's what I'm using it for so hopefully at least she'll reply.

Yes, I know their phone number & am going to have to suck it up and actually use the phone I guess. I HATE talking on the phone. It's an aversion I've had for many years. I don't know why. I don't even like to talk on the phone to Breathes. I guess I prefer the written word or face to face over the phone.

We will figure this out. I suspect it will be me that figures out how to and takes the steps to start rectifying this short coming but that's ok. To put it in perspective we're dealing with ADHD in at least one of them, partial deafness, dyslexia and a mild learning disability in one and all three of them prefer alone time most of the time over cuddle time together. I'm definitely learning about how to deal with different aspects of their personalities. Hopefully I'll be able to carry over what I'm learning into other areas of my life.
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  #39  
Old 01-15-2011, 03:22 PM
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I learned along time ago, that if your making plans that involve the family, you speak directly with the wife. The running joke within my extended family is that if you didn't talk directly with the female, then there is no plan.
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Old 01-15-2011, 03:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
I learned along time ago, that if your making plans that involve the family, you speak directly with the wife. The running joke within my extended family is that if you didn't talk directly with the female, then there is no plan.
I like this & think I may just have to adopt it for us, lol. I think Breathes already has & I haven't twigged to it until now. He tells everyone to talk to me for any plans since I'm the keeper of the chaos (read calendar)!
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