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  #11  
Old 01-15-2011, 11:42 AM
belleisle belleisle is offline
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Default Exactly

That is the crux of the matter.
He was definitely throwing the term polyamory around for what i think were two reasons.
Firstly, to soften the reality that he was having indiscriminate sex with whoever he could get.
Secondly, to make himself feel less like a cad.
But he did tell me the truth and he knew how I would react.
After having some pretty gloriously public screw ups of my own in the romantic area, I try to stay away from judging others.
But I do insist on honesty in communication.
he was not honest.
Belleisle
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  #12  
Old 01-16-2011, 06:23 AM
booklady78 booklady78 is offline
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I think the biggest concern about someone who sleeps around in a dishonest fashion is mostly definitely the sexual safety of their partners. If they aren't being honest with all of their partners, how can you trust that they are honest with you?
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  #13  
Old 01-16-2011, 04:40 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catfish View Post
Polyamory is an evolving term in my opinion.
I don't think it's evolving much, at all. It refers to part of the spectrum of nonmonogamy wherein folks have multiple romantic relationships at the same time with the consent of all involved. The word differentiates that part of the nonmonogamous spectrum from others--eg., swinging, open relationships.

A man cheating on his wife clearly is not polyamorous. He's just bad at monogamy. Should his wife gain full knowledge of his affairs and give consent, then he can speak of poly.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #14  
Old 01-17-2011, 01:56 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I don't think it's evolving much, at all. It refers to part of the spectrum of nonmonogamy wherein folks have multiple romantic relationships at the same time with the consent of all involved. The word differentiates that part of the nonmonogamous spectrum from others--eg., swinging, open relationships.
While I'm with you on swinging being different from poly, I thought (and my search of the forum's official list of definitions confirmed) that there's a definite overlap between open relationships and polyamory.

I don't mean this in the sense that some people have an open relationship "and also happen to have" a polyamorous relationship, but that the polyamorous aspect of the relationship is, itself, open...

As opposed to a polyfidelous relationship, which is by definition not open, and as opposed to a polyamorous couple that also happens to be in the swinging lifestyle, even though the swinging is not itself polyamory...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Open Relationship n : a relationship where partners are allowed to have romantic relationships and/or sex with others outside the relationship

Polyamory n 1: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time (2008). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2: romantically loving more than one person at a time 3: responsible non-monogamy based on honest open communication and conscious choices
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