Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Spirituality & Polyamory

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-01-2009, 09:31 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default Buddha Dharma & Polyamory

I chose "Buddha Dharma," rather than the more popular and familiar "Buddhism" because ... well, it's a little complicated. Is the Dharma of Siddhattha Gotama best understood as an "-ism"? Maybe not. In any case, we could just as well have called this "Buddhism & Polyamory" -- but it didn't work out like that.

Firstly, I'm not a Buddhist. Rather, I draw spiritual inspiration from the Buddha Dharma. I doubt that I'll ever be a card-carrying member of any religion or quasi-religious quasi-philosophical anything. What inspires me, mainly, about the Buddha's Dharma is its integrity, its wholeness. Scrape away any superstitions or occlusions to its luminosity, and the heart of the Buddha's Dharma is pratītyasamutpāda (dependent arising) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pratitya-samutpada .

If everything that is exists only in profound interdependence with everything else, it follows that there are no separate selves (or souls). Yet in all of this fundamental non-separateness, there are distinctions. The Dharma of the Buddha may be best described as a Way (a Dharma is like a Way or a Tao) of discovering what distinction is and is not. If a distinction is not a separation -- because nothing exists separately or unchangingly -- what could this mean and what does this imply about our human lives?

Most of us humans appear to believe we are fundamentally separate, apart, from others and the world, and beyond. We tend to think that we can personally benefit from X while, generally, others do not. Or we think we can be harmed by Y while others are not. We think we are fundamentally alone. And we are -- in a way. And yet we are not.

The Buddha Dharma helps us realize the significance of giving, of caring, of lovingkindness. It helps us to realize our distinctness without falling for the illusion of separation. We realize, deeper and deeper, that while we are distinct individuals we are also utterly continuous and identical with all of life, all of existence. These apparently dualistic entities are realized as identical: non-dual. Self and other are both identical and not identical. A seeming paradox. Who do we ever give to? That's a koan. Of sorts. Rilke (poet) famously said,

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions”


But this koan of the gift (which we may live) goes one further. We do not so much seek an answer to the koan as the falling away of the problem--the very question--, which is borne of an illusion. There is real giving because there is distinction. There is no giving because there is no self apart to give. There is only giving because "There are nothing but gifts on this poor, poor Earth." - Czeslaw Milosz (also a poet).

And, yes, there is the problem of taking, of greed and selfishness -- all borne of the illusion of separation -- a basic failure of comprehension and experience of distinction, of actual otherness! The actual otherness of the other, his/her alterity, is obscured, occluded, by our sense of ourselves as separate rather than distinct.

And let's be real about it.... Whole cultures and civilizations -- epochs -- are borne of, imbued by, stained within this illusion. The Dharma, if it is to mean anything, must be both personal and transpersonal, individual and social. The sangha is all of life, everywhere and everywhen. The practice is giving, without self-grasping. Who gives? (Flipside of the other giving koan.) We cannot know, as grasping, who gives. Letting go, we breathe.
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog

Last edited by River; 09-01-2009 at 10:22 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-01-2009, 09:41 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

"What's the Opposite of Jealousy?"
Tricycle Magazine
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2...-jealousy.html
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-02-2009, 12:30 AM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

The Polyamorous Buddhist Society of Victoria (PolyBuds Vic)

http://polybudsvic.googlepages.com/
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:07 PM
OneSoul OneSoul is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 29
Default

Lovely post.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:41 PM
Catfish Catfish is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: America's High Five
Posts: 299
Default

I read that several times. Thank you.
__________________
Concern yourself less with love and more with loving.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-15-2009, 02:26 AM
berserker239's Avatar
berserker239 berserker239 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Pottsville, Pennsylvania
Posts: 169
Thumbs up

Wow, im gonna have to reread this xD

im a buddhist myself and im rather confused on how youve crossed the title Buddha with the way of Dharma. Most confuse Buddha as being that big jigggly guy that is the god of Buddhism, but obviously their wrong, ofcourse the founder of buddhism was Siddhattha Gotama and he wasnt fat xD

anyway, off to reread
__________________
Because sometimes when you love something, you need to let it go..

Last edited by berserker239; 09-22-2009 at 02:38 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-21-2009, 07:04 PM
glenfoxman glenfoxman is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4
Default Buddha Dharma Polyamory

Interesting replies, and a great post to start it off

For myself, I don't see the two as being inherently linked.

That said, I also know for a fact that you can have some amazingly spiritual experiences with other people... you don't even need to be in a relationship beyond friendship or casual acquaintance. Could polyamory feed into a spiritual system, or the reverse? I don't see why not. I don't think though, as I said, that the two are necessarily bound to one another.
_______________________________________
Website I designed for bad credit payday loans company.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-21-2009, 11:44 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by glenfoxman View Post
.... For myself, I don't see the two as being inherently linked.
I don't either. That is, I see no inherent link between Buddhism/Buddha Dharma and polyamory -- or monogamy.... Nor do I see any conflict -- as some traditionalists do and will.

Glen,

Please do not include links to commercial websites in your future posts (e.g., signature) unless they are links to polyamory related websites. It's a matter of policy in this forum that we don't allow such posts/signatures. Thank you. And welcome to the forum!
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-29-2009, 01:08 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

I was recently browsing a local bookstore when I stumbled upon a book, Touching Enlightenment, by Reggie Ray. Subtitle: Finding Realization in the Body. Sounded like my cup of tea, so I opened it and examined it to see if it wanted to come home with me. It did. And since then I've purchased Reggie's ten CD audio set, Your Breathing Body, part one--and I've been listening and viewing his stuff online. Wow! What a fine man and teacher/teaching! I'm hooked. - - - Interesting thing -- I've never been attracted to the vajrayana / Tibetan traditions until now. I've always been most attracted to zen, primarily, and to the insight/vipassana approaches. But Reggie is a unique dude, and a one-time very close student of Chögyam Trungpa.

Just over the last couple of weeks I feel real shifting happening in my awareness. Somatic (bodily) mindfulness is the essential key!

http://www.dharmaocean.org/default/index.cfm
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog

Last edited by River; 10-29-2009 at 01:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-06-2009, 11:46 AM
Sweetheart's Avatar
Sweetheart Sweetheart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: in my mind
Posts: 125
Default

I have been involved with Buddhism for many years, and have never found any conflict with my poly lifestyle.

The Buddhist concept of Right Sexuality is that, as long as no one is being harmed or made unhappy, it is fine.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:54 PM.