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  #21  
Old 01-14-2011, 09:59 AM
preciselove preciselove is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Well, shit yeah, but that rarely happens. I didn't say no one hopes for it, just that lots of relationships are obviously not meant to last forever; otherwise, they would. My point was that the end of a relationship doesn't mean it failed, only that it ended. And relationships end for various and sundry reasons. It isn't "usually" due to one of the people having found someone else, and that caused it to end, which is what you were saying earlier in the thread.
My point was most mono people go into relationships (at least the non "fuck buddy" type ones) with the hope that they will last forever. If you want me to limit that, "most mono people I know". I don't know why people get antsy with others generalizing, generalizations don't cover every case they just try and cover most cases. Often they can be wrong but that's incredibly difficult to prove. There's no point arguing with a generalization with "well in my case". Give your case sure, but why argue or think a generalization is wrong because it doesn't fit you? Western culture (TV/Hollywood/Books/etc) that we all are aware of here I'm sure, support my generalizations.

If a relationship ends when the initial hope was "I want it to last forever" then most mono endings are indeed failures given the above.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I don't know what you mean here. I am new to poly and only basing what I say on my lifelong experience as a mono person. And my point is you can't really generalize, anyway, but your conclusions seem really off to me.
People that end up entangled in polyamory are typically intelligent. Again a generalization but I guess by this stage you'll realize it is something that I feel is true. People that are attracted to communities like this (and even mono people that are) communicate better than most and have a higher awareness of the world around them.

Intelligent people are a minority in society and as such their experiences will usually be atypical. Even before you were in poly you were likely more intelligent than most and your experiences as such will be tainted with that intelligence.
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  #22  
Old 01-14-2011, 10:15 AM
preciselove preciselove is offline
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According to a new study, up to 20 percent of long-term relationships begin when one or both partners are involved with others. Evolutionary psychologists call this “mate poaching.” This figure holds steady across age groups and among couples who are married, living together or dating, according to psychologists who polled some 16,000 individuals in 53
So there is 20% of people who were involved while they started their new relationship. Just add the "people who broke up with someone then a few days later started up with someone" on top of that. Think it's not at least 30%?

peterfox.com.au/pre_marriage_poaching.htm

Last edited by AutumnalTone; 01-21-2011 at 10:36 PM. Reason: removed clickable link to commercial site
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