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  #21  
Old 08-27-2009, 07:03 PM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
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Your best gift to those you love is your own happiness.
I can attest to the fact of this. My husband, Cajun, and I have the same libido problem. Mine is terrible and he's always ready to go. When Elric and I started talking after all these years, my happiness was visibly altered. People actually commented about how much happier I seemed lately and my libido soared...which I shared with my HUSBAND. Ok, so Elric is 400 miles away, but just the happiness that I felt and feel now that we are starting to get our friendship back on track has helped me with my mood which in turn helps my libido which in turn make Cajun very happy.

Happiness = better libido = more sex = more happiness...it's a nice little circle.

*edit* I would also like to add that Cajun and I spend about 90-95% of our free time together. I hate when he has to go out of town for work, which luckily is very rarely. I used to try to encourage him to do things on his own and I would try to do things on my own as I don't want to increase my slight co-dependency problems (part of my anxiety issues) but we still end up doing most things together.
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Last edited by vandalin; 08-27-2009 at 07:10 PM.
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  #22  
Old 08-27-2009, 07:24 PM
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River River is offline
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That's all true. About the libido typically being better with happiness (as well as overall health). [Want really good sex? Eat well, exercise, stop smoking, and don't drink too much! -- in other words, get healthy.]

But there's also the fact that people who want to be happy very much prefer to be around other people who also want to be happy and who are happy (or at least willing to give it a try). It's much easier to be happy while around happy people. Being happy around miserable people is for saints!
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  #23  
Old 08-27-2009, 08:51 PM
AJbear77 AJbear77 is offline
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Default Did you ever know...

JRiver - did you ever know that you're my hero...you are everything I wish I could be Come on, you know the song!!
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  #24  
Old 08-27-2009, 08:55 PM
AJbear77 AJbear77 is offline
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I feel schizo lately with this. I think overall I am getting better, though. I can imagine you must have difficulties as well. While you very much love and respect those in your life, I can imagine it is still a tough position with your ideals and such. Your love seems strong enough to transcend those ideals, but I still imagine it is tough. So much growth, so much growth. Good for you
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  #25  
Old 08-27-2009, 09:16 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by AJbear77 View Post
I feel schizo lately with this. I think overall I am getting better, though. I can imagine you must have difficulties as well. While you very much love and respect those in your life, I can imagine it is still a tough position with your ideals and such. Your love seems strong enough to transcend those ideals, but I still imagine it is tough. So much growth, so much growth. Good for you
I became extremely torn when I fell in love with Redpepper. We fought for what we have now which required months of intense sharing, communication and heated arguments. We almost lost each other too which was horrible.

Today I have no issues with our relationship or the people in it....none. This seems completely normal and comfortable to me. This was only possible because we both clearly identified what we needed to be healthy and true to ourselves. We trust each other and want a future together involving all our chosen family.

I think we are rare in some ways. We certainly are lucky considering our different natures and backgrounds. Our love is total. Without that, I wouldn't be here at all and we would be friends but not intimate friends.
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  #26  
Old 09-01-2009, 02:20 PM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
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Default A little late,

But Hello, and welcome to the forum.
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