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  #601  
Old 01-08-2011, 03:43 AM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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This posting about Leo and his wife sounds just like my male partner (now inactive) and his wife. This is the exact issue or set of issues that lead to where we are now which is not together as of this week. Everything you mentioned above is the same- they've been together for a long time (10 yrs), have been swinging the entire time (hence the mindset), he confides everything in her (dual mindset) but tends to not do the same with me and also has never inquired about whether or not I appreciate that, they have their own way of communicating which isn't the way I communicate, and the wife doesn't really have an interest in having any real conversations with me. Though, I am not of the belief that it is absolutely necessary (if the communication between the sets of partners was up to par) but I do agree with you that it does seem to work more smoothly when everyone has been given the platform to share and feel involved on some level. This is also a new experience for him and them both which is also very frustrating to me because now I feel like it has been more of a game to them-testing the water, asking people to open their lives to them and allow themselves to be vulnerable just to receive mixed signals and ultimately be cast aside. Sorry, didn't mean to air my issues as a response to your posting but it just resonated with everything that has been transpiring in my relationship. Fortunately, our hearts and spirits can withstand more than we think, though, we would rather not test the limits. I thought I would be totally wrecked after I knew the possibilities of the end of the relationship on Monday. Wednesday, when he voiced it, it did hurt...A LOT... but after a very rough Wednesday night and a moderately emotional Thursday morning, I started to regain my composure. It's still on my mind but the pain isn't as severe or constant as I thought it would be. With that said, I hope you do not have to endure any heartache but, if you do, hopefully acknowledging that it wasn't something you hadn't considered happening will help you recover quicker since you do have realistic view of the circumstances as they currently stand. *hugs*

Last edited by eklctc; 01-08-2011 at 03:47 AM. Reason: user error
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  #602  
Old 01-08-2011, 08:15 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear that things have changed for you eklctc... that sucks. May your heart heal well and soon.

I had a wonderful evening with Mono this week. We went to a popular local restaurant where I gave him a card that I had written in. He read it as we drank wine and ate Italian food. I was (and am) so in love with him. I love to gaze at him and marvel at his playful nature and good humour. He isn't quick to anger or become defensive and confused these days and I am enjoying that calm content feeling we have together.

We are a couple that has been through some stuff and has come out of it... shining and immersed... blended together some how. I doubt anyone who know us could imagine us without each other now. That time of newness and adjustment has passed on to something rich, full bodied and whole... I am grateful and complete. Thank you Mono for blessing me with your presence in my life. I am honoured and my heart is forever yours (and others too )

PN and I are having a wonderful weekend away at the wedding of a highschool friend. It's on a neighbouring island where her husband to be grew up.

Its rather strange to be here actually as I saw her last (besides a quick visit a few months ago) when we were about 17. She had been abandoned by her mother and didn't know her dad and was staying with an aunt, who was raising her but didn't mother her. The woman was abusing my friend and when my mum found out about it, we took her in until she left town to go and live with her mother again... it all happened so fast back then and I was young and naive... I really don't know what happened.

I have no idea how she came to be in the place she is in today, with a baby of 14 months and another on the way. All her family around her... her dad, the woman that had been beating her that our family took her in from... several other family members that are a surprise to me... there is only 14 of us staying in a couple of houses and ready to celebrate tomorrow and I am the only friend... I am surprised, a bit confused and honoured that she would invite us!

She has no idea about me either. Except what is evident on FB. Which I suppose is a lot... at least in pictures anyway.

Hm, should be an interesting day tomorrow!

Leo's wife finally wrote and confirmed that she is good and that her issues were between her and Leo and that she had no problem with me in her husbands life. She just wanted to get back to being friends and our kids hanging out and families having fun together. I agreed and told her it was odd for me to not be communicating with everyone, so I will do my best to trust and will keep quiet (for now )

I wrote Leo and said I felt much better. I asked about watching movies again... in my room... some time... with a promise that I would stay on my side of the bed. I seriously do want to watch old movies with him as that and old cars are interests of mine and his... we shall see.

I have a date with Derby coming up oh I can't wait! We haven't had a date for awhile... not a proper one anyway. I asked her what she wants to do and she said "make out?" I'm in! Although an "absinthe sparkle" at one of our favorite date places for dinner would go down nicely along with that.
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  #603  
Old 01-09-2011, 12:50 AM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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Sounds like an interesting weekend. I hope you have a great time and look forward to reading about it and your date with Derby.

Love & Hugs to Mono and his grandeur.

The best for you and PN on your short getaway.
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  #604  
Old 01-09-2011, 07:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I asked about watching movies again... in my room... some time... with a promise that I would stay on my side of the bed. I seriously do want to watch old movies with him as that and old cars are interests of mine and his... we shall see.
Umm, how's about upstairs We tried that already....I'm a freak, I know. But thanks for the lovely words Lilo. You're way to kind you know.
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Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 01-09-2011 at 08:04 AM.
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  #605  
Old 01-09-2011, 04:26 PM
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Umm, how's about upstairs We tried that already....I'm a freak, I know.
yes, this was our conclusion too. Up stairs it is
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  #606  
Old 01-09-2011, 04:36 PM
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yes, this was our conclusion too. Up stairs it is
you love me too much but I'm not complaining!
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  #607  
Old 01-10-2011, 08:14 PM
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totally in love with Mono today. He missed me this weekend and cuddled me like a fiend last night... all snuggy and warm. It has made my NRE spring up. PN and I should go away more often. Not only did we have a great time, but I came home to a lovey man...
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  #608  
Old 01-10-2011, 11:33 PM
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I was a bit cuddly wasn't I?

I'm looking forward to the next time....and the next time..and the next

I love you ....and now your home! Upstairs I go
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  #609  
Old 01-11-2011, 02:59 AM
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Hope you feel better Mon.
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  #610  
Old 01-13-2011, 08:12 AM
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LB is doing a school project this week for his week of "star of the week" he has lots of pictures he wants to put on the bristol board I got and showed them to his grand parents tonight. There are lots of Mono in there and he is obviously very proud. I just posted pictures to FB of our family at Christmas and other events. We all look content and happy; especially LB. He talked about his pictures and I asked him what he will say about the ones where we are all standing together as a family. He said, "that is mumma, daddy, me and Mono... he is my best buddy." I just smiled and thought... "well, here we go, one more step towards completely being out." His principle has already asked who Mono is... I think we will go with LB's version. He is his best buddy.
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