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Old 01-12-2011, 03:12 PM
darksilence darksilence is offline
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Talking Looking ahead - St Valentines Day

First, I wanted to thank all of you who have read and responded to my previous postings.

This will be my first valentine's day as part of a triad poly group and i'm curious how other tribes/family groupings/teams celebrate and spend the day. i know there's a number of people out there who don't bother - maybe most poly groupings are like this.

i'm kinda thinking of doing something geeky like getting us all a video game we can play together or even booking a lane at the local bowling alley. we've not been together long and there have been a lot of trials and tribulations we've overcome to get this far - i feel it deserves a celebration and that this is kinda a good excuse to do it now rather than later.

what are your plans, if any? if not, why?

not trying to start a big debate, just light-hearted chatter.

BB,

DarkSilence
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Old 01-12-2011, 03:25 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darksilence View Post
This will be my first valentine's day as part of a triad poly group and i'm curious how other tribes/family groupings/teams celebrate and spend the day. i know there's a number of people out there who don't bother - maybe most poly groupings are like this.
I usually don't bother. I have never been a huge fan of valentines day. I try to be romantic most of the time, having corporate america telling me a specific day to be doesn't really do it for me
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Old 01-12-2011, 03:38 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
I usually don't bother. I have never been a huge fan of valentines day. I try to be romantic most of the time, having corporate america telling me a specific day to be doesn't really do it for me
Me too.

I do have one caveat - I remind my husband how lucky he is that he doesn't have to do anything or get anything for me JUST because it's a certain date. All our partnered male friends are required by their women to jump through rings of fire and if they get ONE LITTLE THING wrong, they suffer. To me, a "lovers' holiday" should not be about emotional blackmail.


He does remember our anniversary because he was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, although he left the cult years before we met (AND because our anniversary is 03-03-03), and the only thing they are allowed to celebrate are weddings and wedding anniversaries.

But other than that, we just do thoughtful things for one another all throughout the year. We don't have other partners at this time, so that's not an issue.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 01-12-2011 at 03:40 PM.
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Old 01-12-2011, 03:51 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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I have never celebrated Valentine`s Day.

Similiar thought process as stated above. Maybe if I didn`t have 2 men who spoil and pamper me on a whim, fairly often, I might feel differently.

I can see how others like it though. So don`t let us anti-Valentines' people spoil what sounds like something you are excited about. I say you go with your plan, and enjoy !
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Old 01-12-2011, 04:05 PM
Athena Athena is offline
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Although nll and I are romantic plenty on other times of year, we have never failed to take advantage of any specials that are actually (surprisingly with some businesses) truly economically advantageous ways to pamper each other (like a spa special with his and hers massages or restaurants that are holding a seasonal special). However we aren't specifically doing those things because of Valentine's day, just taking advantage of it. And we usually avoid going out on the actual day because things are so over-crowded then.

Looks like my contacts on polymatch fizzled out, but then, that makes poly dating not different at all from singles dating.

To anyone who is planning a big St. Valentine's day - have fun!
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Old 01-12-2011, 04:37 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Cool

We will probably act like a couple would. Dinner out someplace nice and romantic...with cards and maybe a small gift for each other. (Not necessarily candy or roses but probably something more useful...a nice new shirt or shoes, etc.)

The main issue I think we'll have is that most restaurants around here serve a special "Prixe Fixe menu for two" on Valentines, instead of their normal menu. We'll have to do our homework and find someplace that isn't doing that...or at least allows a modification for three.
(And add the fact that I don't eat red meat, and C doesn't like seafood...needless to say we got work to do! )

Last edited by RfromRMC; 01-12-2011 at 04:41 PM.
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Old 01-12-2011, 04:59 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by RfromRMC View Post
We will probably act like a couple would. Dinner out someplace nice and romantic...with cards and maybe a small gift for each other. (Not necessarily candy or roses but probably something more useful...a nice new shirt or shoes, etc.)

The main issue I think we'll have is that most restaurants around here serve a special "Prixe Fixe menu for two" on Valentines, instead of their normal menu. We'll have to do our homework and find someplace that isn't doing that...or at least allows a modification for three.
(And add the fact that I don't eat red meat, and C doesn't like seafood...needless to say we got work to do! )
You could do it the day before or the day after and enjoy a more relaxed atmosphere and more menu options.

My whole issue with V-Day has to do with "You gotta do it ON THE DAY". I have no issue with celebrating the IDEA of a lovers' holiday, but it doesn't have to be OMG ON TEH DAI that popular culture dictates.

Going out to eat on Valentines day, you're crushed in there because restaurants are trying to fit in as many two-tops as they can, they have reservations back-to back, so you can't take your time because they need the table by a certain time, the waitstaff usually hates working because despite the fact that they earn tips, they are still dealing with fussy people all day long who need everything to be perfect, women who want their dressing on the side and men who are wondering if this will be good enough to get them a blow job AND some pussy... You get the idea.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 01-12-2011 at 05:03 PM.
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Old 01-12-2011, 05:40 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darksilence View Post
i'm kinda thinking of doing something geeky like getting us all a video game we can play together or even booking a lane at the local bowling alley. we've not been together long and there have been a lot of trials and tribulations we've overcome to get this far - i feel it deserves a celebration and that this is kinda a good excuse to do it now rather than later.
I think this idea is absolutely great. I think it shows your desire to have fun and spend time with your partners which means more than any cheezy VDay tradition. Then again I have a very warped sense of what is romantic .
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Old 01-12-2011, 06:23 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Usually we do the Valentine's Day thing.

This year I already sent an email to both guys telling them that I don't want flowers, gifts, dinner, cards etc. If they want to give me a Valentine's Day gift they can put the $$ towards my expenses for going to Victoria this summer.

I will still probably get them each a card.

My FAVORITE gift is in a drawer as an "untouchable".
Last year Maca got me a ring, then gave it to me with a card that said it was from "them", signed by both of them.
But within days there was a fight when it came out that he didn't WANT it to be that way, just thought I'd take it better if it were (which was hogwash) and all hell broke loose.
I returned the ring adn told him to keep it. Never touched it since.

Just THINKING about this year was making me sick until I decided I was going to Victoria this summer and sent that email.

So, no dinner, flowers, cards, candy etc here. Will probably be at home with the many kiddos unless Spicy Pea goes into labor (I'd laugh so hard if she had a valentine's day baby). Then we'll be at the birthing center....
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:13 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darksilence View Post
i'm kinda thinking of doing something geeky like getting us all a video game we can play together or even booking a lane at the local bowling alley.
I like your idea of an outing, like going bowling or doing some other fun thing. I think that seems more celebratory than sitting at home playing a game.

I usually never even give V-Day a thought. Never cared about it before I was married, nor while I was married. Now I'm wondering what the hell I will be doing on that day this year.
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Last edited by nycindie; 01-13-2011 at 09:10 AM.
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