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  #21  
Old 08-31-2009, 02:55 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Originally Posted by flakey View Post
. . . she asked me for the nth time if 'she was fat'. . . .
Oh! Oh! Heads up, yíall. There is a RIGHT ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION! And my precious Hubby found it. But I donít wanna hijack this thread, so Iíll start a new one.

PS to XYZ123: Be strong, SisterWoman. I hope your day improves.
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  #22  
Old 08-31-2009, 02:58 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by Fidelia View Post
Oh! Oh! Heads up, yíall. There is a RIGHT ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION! And my precious Hubby found it. But I donít wanna hijack this thread, so Iíll start a new one.
You might want to bottle that and sell it before you give it away for free.

What else are you hiding from the rest of us, a cure for the common cold, perhaps?
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  #23  
Old 08-31-2009, 07:24 PM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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Lol. Thanks. I will be ok all. This forum helps when I can't handle "real" people.
*love*

Back to your regularly scheduled thread.....
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  #24  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:17 PM
OneSoul OneSoul is offline
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Originally Posted by XYZ123 View Post
Not to attack on your first post, but you're standing on a landmine my friend. As far as I'm concerned. Was this woman ACTUALLY bipolar or are you just labeling her as such? Because...I'm about as bipolar as you can get and I am quite capable of monitoring myself and maintaining healthy relationships. I hate when people say "s/he's being bipolar" when they're not. Because it stigmatizes people like me who put ALOT of effort into controlling the disease.
Do you think I'd want you to have issues with your wife? No.

I've spent 1.5-2 years on a spiritual path.. lots of meditation, guidance, and have a crazy strong intuition now.

I am not labeling your wife anything. I could detail out my 7 years with this woman... and share with you what I learned. But my short reading...

(Suicidal, Always insecure, No friends, Lack of Deservedness, Were UNAWARE of herself (U seem to be aware / self monitoring), ...Insecure.. Very negative connotations / jumping to conclusions.. If someting happened X.. She'd take out interpretation in a very negative way about those people.. and then flip flop on her opinions about them.. I realized she used to do the same with me... to others.. Complain about one to the other.. Funky think... I NEVER told anyone anything bad about her.. I accepted her issues as something I'll love & help her grow out of..)

Any person who is in constant fear of you finding someone else or are you having an affair with someone else... suffers from major insecurity.. & deservedness issues..
Probably because of some previous / childhood experience...

All the things you outlined about her.. every small item.. its like a copy of my ex.

Its weird that I should even read & comment on your post. But its like what you are doing is a copy of me.. and what she is doing & saying is a copy of her.

I kept trying with open love.. Funny that I used the same line..
"love & let go" ... Let someone be free...

I paid for my stupidity and my unconditional, unwavering love, trust & faith.. I should've seen the signs.

Someone cannot love or be happy with another unless they are happy being alone.. being themselves ...self love.

I was too loving & trusting & open minded. She was insecure, and lacked sense of deservedness and socially conditioned for 'nice' girl but instinctively driven to a guy / guys for validation. Always afraid I'd leave her for someone else.. always asking me if i've found a new girl friend. I never did .. but she would throw herself on any male who gave her attention.

As long as you keep being the one GIVING HER ATTENTION... I think you're safe.

BUT if you really want to help her.. She has to BE WANT TO BE HELPED & HEALED out of her INSECURITY & LACK OF DESERVEDNESS. (If at all..)

I worked on her a lot.. to help.. but those that do not want to HEAL or be HELPED.. Cannot be.. Hope you have better luck.

PS: You can totally ignore what I have said.. Sorry if I may have hurt you in any way.. I went through a ton of lies & hurt.. I'm clean of it now.. and can see the whole thing in a clear light.

Last edited by OneSoul; 08-31-2009 at 10:23 PM.
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  #25  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:25 PM
OneSoul OneSoul is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fidelia View Post
Oh! Oh! Heads up, yíall. There is a RIGHT ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION! And my precious Hubby found it. But I donít wanna hijack this thread, so Iíll start a new one.

PS to XYZ123: Be strong, SisterWoman. I hope your day improves.
I hope she's not asking the following.. a lot of times

"You're not attracted to me anymore and are seeing someone else".
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  #26  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:26 PM
OneSoul OneSoul is offline
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Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
Yes, Mono, but the parts about being insecure if he's even TALKING to another female person and how she freaks about "is it PORN" suggest to me deeper, more pathological issues at work than simply "monogamy is what I signed up for".
I've seen it. Been through it. Was too clean hearted, loving, trusting & god faith driven to not give up on my ex.. lol.. I figured I could make her grow out of it...
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  #27  
Old 09-01-2009, 02:28 AM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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OneSoul- I'm not the original poster. I am a female with bipolar disorder who was a bit ruffled with your labeling this apparently emotionally unstable person as bipolar. And, from what you described, your ex suffered from maybe anxiety, depression, poor body image, abuse, a persecution complex, etc. Bipolar is about highs and lows to be very simple. Too high and too low.

As far as the rest, yeah, anyone who needs help has to want it for it to work.
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  #28  
Old 09-01-2009, 08:10 AM
OneSoul OneSoul is offline
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Originally Posted by XYZ123 View Post
OneSoul- I'm not the original poster. I am a female with bipolar disorder who was a bit ruffled with your labeling this apparently emotionally unstable person as bipolar. And, from what you described, your ex suffered from maybe anxiety, depression, poor body image, abuse, a persecution complex, etc. Bipolar is about highs and lows to be very simple. Too high and too low.

As far as the rest, yeah, anyone who needs help has to want it for it to work.
Oh!.. Well.. From what I have read, learnt and know about Bipolar disorder.. It makes people swing high low super fast.. One moment happy and another suicidal. And extremely unaware that this is happening to them.

I've seen that pattern big time in 2-3 women. So, maybe you do not fall into the general characteristics of Biploar disorder.. Just the same way you do not fall into say any generalized label "women who're crazy for prada" etc.

PS: Question you have to ask yourself and not me is, why do you feel offended when someone talks about another person who is Bipolar and totally disconnected from you, when you yourself know that you are an exception in the so called Bipolar "characteristics"? Are you taking on a negative connotation just by your own association with the word? You feel like you are being targeted? You are being defensive and have to take up the defense for ever person with BiPolar.. however diverse each may be.
PPS: I am extremely non judgmental. To the point I've even compassionately forgiven someone who literally destroyed my life.. But then again.. Everything has a purpose in life..

Last edited by OneSoul; 09-01-2009 at 08:13 AM.
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  #29  
Old 09-01-2009, 12:15 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by OneSoul View Post
PS: Question you have to ask yourself and not me is, why do you feel offended when someone talks about another person who is Bipolar and totally disconnected from you, when you yourself know that you are an exception in the so called Bipolar "characteristics"? Are you taking on a negative connotation just by your own association with the word? You feel like you are being targeted? You are being defensive and have to take up the defense for ever person with BiPolar.. however diverse each may be.
PPS: I am extremely non judgmental. To the point I've even compassionately forgiven someone who literally destroyed my life.. But then again.. Everything has a purpose in life..
XYZ didn't say she is an exception. She said she is "as bipolar as you can get". You need to stop misquoting her and then responding to those misquoted items. I am sensing quite a bit of belligerence from the your most recent post.


XYZ - PM someone such as myself if you feel inclined to be "defensive" as suggested above. You don't need the aggravation right now.
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  #30  
Old 09-01-2009, 01:26 PM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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Ok. Let me try this again since you are obviously not getting it. One more time from the top.

I have bipolar disorder. I suffer from bipolar 1 with both manic and depressive symptoms. To the high I have actually hallucinated and lost time and to the low I have attempted suicide. I am in no way an "exception". I am as bipolar as a person can get and manage to live life outside hospital walls. I only manage to live life because I have done alot of work in becoming self aware of my symptoms, learned to ask for help, and sought out therapy and medication. And I manage healthy, reciprocal, loving relationship on various levels better than many "normal" people I know.

I am not upset at you discussing "bipolar people" nor do I feel "targeted". I am upset when someone labels an unstable person who has no formal diagnosis as bipolar and then lists many very negative traits to describe this person. It's no different than when a woman kills her children and the first thing people start saying is "she must be bipolar". As if all bipolars are just monsters lurking in human skin waiting for the next psycho mood swing. You have no idea the work I've had to do to get people to not see me that way. Unless you are a psychologist (which I'm halfway through studying to become BTW) please do not "read a book" and feel you can label people and have no one offended by it. I do not "take up the defense" of every bipolar person. There are actually several I know personally and dislike because they refuse to do anything about it. If she is diagnosed as bipolar, carry on. However, if she is not, just please drop the labeling. This is all I ask.

As far as how "compassionate" you are, you seem to mention this alot. If you have forgiven her for all her wrongdoing and cruelty to you, why is every post in every thread you write dripping with how horrible she was and how wonderful you are? You are certainly not showing any compassion to me, nor are you even quoting me correctly. Maybe you need to work on communication.

(Yes, that last paragraph was just being snippy. This is the first time anything on this forum has made me angry. )
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