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Old 01-08-2011, 03:43 AM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Burbs of Denver, CO
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This posting about Leo and his wife sounds just like my male partner (now inactive) and his wife. This is the exact issue or set of issues that lead to where we are now which is not together as of this week. Everything you mentioned above is the same- they've been together for a long time (10 yrs), have been swinging the entire time (hence the mindset), he confides everything in her (dual mindset) but tends to not do the same with me and also has never inquired about whether or not I appreciate that, they have their own way of communicating which isn't the way I communicate, and the wife doesn't really have an interest in having any real conversations with me. Though, I am not of the belief that it is absolutely necessary (if the communication between the sets of partners was up to par) but I do agree with you that it does seem to work more smoothly when everyone has been given the platform to share and feel involved on some level. This is also a new experience for him and them both which is also very frustrating to me because now I feel like it has been more of a game to them-testing the water, asking people to open their lives to them and allow themselves to be vulnerable just to receive mixed signals and ultimately be cast aside. Sorry, didn't mean to air my issues as a response to your posting but it just resonated with everything that has been transpiring in my relationship. Fortunately, our hearts and spirits can withstand more than we think, though, we would rather not test the limits. I thought I would be totally wrecked after I knew the possibilities of the end of the relationship on Monday. Wednesday, when he voiced it, it did hurt...A LOT... but after a very rough Wednesday night and a moderately emotional Thursday morning, I started to regain my composure. It's still on my mind but the pain isn't as severe or constant as I thought it would be. With that said, I hope you do not have to endure any heartache but, if you do, hopefully acknowledging that it wasn't something you hadn't considered happening will help you recover quicker since you do have realistic view of the circumstances as they currently stand. *hugs*

Last edited by eklctc; 01-08-2011 at 03:47 AM. Reason: user error
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bdsm, boundaries, breaking up, casual sex, children, coming out, coming out to family, communication, family, kids, mono poly, mono/poly, moving in, poly-fi, poly-fidelous, swinging, vee

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