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  #11  
Old 01-06-2011, 11:03 PM
manitscoldhere manitscoldhere is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seasnail View Post
Manitscoldhere,
This may be way off topic, and shouldn't prevent you from looking into polyamory, but sometimes lack of libido is a symptom of a medical issue. It would be a shame to overlook that, if your girlfriend needed some help.
Totally agree. Before any serious decisions are made we are going to see a therapist - so hopefully that will pull out any real issues (unless it just is what it is). To be frank - if we just are not compatible sexually, then I would seriously consider going poly, deal with no intimate sex - or - break up with her. (thought just dealing with it would in the long run be bad for us I think)

She has gone to a doctor for it before and her testosterone levels are low - my hope is we can get this figured out :-/
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  #12  
Old 01-08-2011, 12:16 AM
zinc zinc is offline
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I'm a newbie here with no "creds", so...warning!

That said, the solution to "our sex is not satisfying and infrequent" (and at least I think messages in your post that you view this as "her issue") of extending to an additional relationship (polyamory) strikes me as superficial.

I'd suggest you as individuals have some significant growth to do that can result in a transformation in your relationship and all attributes of your sex life. That could still happen if you enter into an additional relationship...but it sounds more like using the additional relationship to AVOID that (which assumes you know it's a very viable path, which you probably don't hence your post).

I was in the same situation and did the "cheating thing" for a very long time. I also thought it was "her issue" and she wasn't sexually inclined the way I was. Boy was I wrong. She had issues...I had issues...we had issues together. Result of working together on them with professional help: an exceptional relationship in general and incredible and very frequent and satisfying sex! And we aren't close to done yet, either (probably never are!).

I strongly recommend "Passionate Marriage" as a low cost way to get into the complexity of relationship and sex and issues. Not easy reading but eye opening and powerful!

G'luck,

-zinc
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