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Old 01-03-2011, 06:03 AM
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ray ray is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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I'm not sure I follow your use of terms.

You appear to be saying that you feel frustrated when people try to discuss things in the heat of the moment before they've figured out what they're thinking/feeling. And therefore saying you have issues with people acting impulsively?

I can understand that but when you say that you don't want to waste your energy on talking to some one who doesn't understand their feelings I find that to be off-putting. Feelings can be hard to understand sometimes and I know sometimes I can use help sorting them out. Perhaps I misunderstand you.

"Most negative "feelings" that people want to express to you are born from a cultural programming most of us received growing up. Since this culture is on the verge of collapse we do not need to entertain most of those feelings do we?"

I'm not sure I agree with this statement. It sounds like throwing the baby out with the bath water. I recognize that many of us wish to change and reprogram certain cultural practices and feelings. And what do you mean by the first sentence? I can think of lots of negative feelings that have little to do with cultural programming. And I think if you want to have healthy meaningful relationships, sometimes you need to entertain feelings of all kinds. Whether or not they become permanent house guests is another things... Relationships are not all about efficiency. If I had feelings and my partner were to tell me that he didn't wish to entertain them or discuss them because they were antiquated, I would be incredibly hurt. And very likely not to stay in the relationship.

I suppose my beef is that I feel like you're saying that you don't care to discuss your partner/s feelings if you deem them to be a waste of time. Let me know if I am off.
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