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Old 01-02-2011, 11:38 PM
TL4everu2's Avatar
TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907

I'm sure that you three all got a notification that I had replied to this thread, and came here and were like "WTF? There's no reply.". But I did reply, and thought twice about my reply. Here you got though.

Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
It's not a damn game or competition like a stupid wrestling match.

It's love, emotions, being sensitive, knowing yourself... it's not cat and mouse. If she doesn't feel smothered, respect that she actually likes the attention. Sheesh.
Life is a game. You can either play, or not. If you play, you live. If not, you die. Relationships are also a game. If you play, you interact with another person or more. If not, you don't. Simple. I refer to it as "cat and mouse". When one person plays the cat, they are the aggressor. When they play the mouse, they are more timid, and receptive. Sometimes, you have to play a bit of each part, but it's impossible to play both at the same time.

When I asked her if she felt smothered, she hesitated before answering "not exactly". This tells me that she was uncertain or wasnt sure how to answer. It was a yes or no question. Not a lot of wiggle room in it. But I respect her answer. While I'm respecting it, I'm also giving her a little more space.

Originally Posted by Jade View Post
Wow. I would NEVER play the part for someone who is so poorly invested.
And that's your perogative. However, you would never know how "poorly invested" the person was....until it was too late. The only way to know, is when I actually say "I'm breaking up with you. I just don't want to deal with it." Then, you (or she) would realize how "poorly invested" I was/am. But keep reading please.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
An argument or a few heated words on an understandably stressful day and the relationship that you were head over heels about is suddenly over for you? And you feel like a victim? What the...???!!!
Well...I DO see how trivial you must see this as. I wouldn't say I was "head over heels" for anyone. I was definatly enjoying the company and the companionship. I also enjoyed the fact that she and my wife got along.

I feel that we are all THREE the victim's in this instance. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I'm trying to tread lightly. I've decided to give V space. She seems to have wanted some. I think it is best for now. Maybe next week, I'll send her a message again. But for now...I'm holding off.......and trying to let HER message US first so we don't encroach on her personal time.

I'm not throwing it all away, but I AM holding off on advancing the relationship further, and I AM keeping certain walls in place to protect myself and make it so I'm able to make hard decisions when and/or if the time comes.
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...
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