The Many Types of Polyamory

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by Poison

I completely agree with the idea of 'polyfuckery' being a derogatory term; even aesthetically I find it harsh.

Am I missing something? What is wrong with harsh and derogatory? It's a term that some use to describe a certain type of behaviour from those who use polyamory.

It's a term used by those who disagree with the term polyamory being used to find quick fucks that have no meaning other than fucking behind them. There is nothing wrong with that of course, but it has and continues to confuse those who are looking for a loving relationship, even a loving one night stand fuck.

When there are websites that use the term polyamory to promote something different... some people call that polyfuckery. Is it such a bad thing to have a word for that? I think it brings attention to a way of doing poly that is different from what other poly people do. Isn't that just as valid as polyfriendly, polyflexible, polyfi, polysexual... it's a specific term, just as the others can be if someone choices to use them... most people don't call themselves polyfuckers however... maybe they should? Embrace and empower themselves. Why not?

[Poison]

I'm confused. I mean the term is derogatory, and you are saying contextually it fits sometimes and that's okay? Well sure. But the original poster was using it differently I think. I just don't like how it sounds. It's up to people to wield language to their own advantage. I personally try to avoid the word "fuck" as it doesn't really do much for me. I don't know a lot about these terms, hence my original question. I like the term polysexual, but I'm not sure it encompasses what I'm trying to express.

[marksbabygirl]

Originally Posted by redpepper

...most people don't call themselves polyfuckers however... maybe they should? Embrace and empower themselves. Why not?

Isn't that what people used to call sluts or promiscuious?

I like polyfuckery though Its a fun term

[AutumnalTone]

Originally Posted by Nakedone

One thing that seems to be basic to all defiinitions is that there are at least three people involved in a sexual relationship of some kind. But, beyond that, the varieties are many!

I'll offer that what you think is basic to any definition of poly is incorrect. Polyamory deals with intimate, romantic relationships that may or may not include sexual behavior--some are quite chaste. What *is* basic to polyamory is engaging in multiple intimate, romantic relationships.

From my own experience, the most "usual" polyamory relationship involves two men and one woman. And, in most cases, one of the men will be the husband of the one woman involved. But, not always.

Here you show that you have very limited experience in the world of poly. MFM vees aren't any more common than FMF vees or triads or small networks. If I had to point at any single arrangement as being most common, I'd point to a FMF vee.

My question to any who read this is: "How do YOU define Polyamory, and what kinds of three-person sexual relationships have you enjoyed most?"

Wouldn't you be better served asking about threesome experiences on a site for swingers? I get the idea you're wanting to focus on discussion of sex without much thought for the relationships, so you're likely going to find much more that sort of thing elsewhere. I could be wrong, of course, and you actually want to discuss relationships and just worded things poorly in that regard. In that case, I'll suggest spending some time reading before starting a thread--the search feature is your friend.

[Jade]

I googled "flexible poly" and could only find chemistry (the science) results. Maybe it's a homegrown expression where you are.

[Poison]

Originally Posted by Jade

I googled "flexible poly" and could only find chemistry (the science) results. Maybe it's a homegrown expression where you are.

Yeah, fair enough. I've heard it more than once, and most recently on okcupid. It's all good, I don't put too much stock into labels anyway. I was just curious. Thanks for the help.

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by Ariakas

Or what about that poor single poly person who is open to having casual sex to find love? Or just likes casual sex while waiting for more people to love?

"Poor" single person having casual sex (for whatever reason)? Sounds lucky to me, not poor.

[Poison]

Magdlyn, I LOVE your signature quote.