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Old 12-29-2010, 07:27 AM
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MindfulAgony MindfulAgony is offline
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Default Feminist theory and Polyamory - should we be more strident?

I just finished reading A Critique of Pure Relationships: On Consent and Compulsory Monogamy and was reminded again of the link between monogamy and patriarchy. It led me to think more dimly of all the social supportst that monogamy is accorded in society. And really wonder how to continue to push against patriarchy, gender roles, gender stereotypes, and homophobia...

What do you guys think?

(note: I didn't post in Press and Media Coverage because the article doesn't appear to be either)
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Old 12-29-2010, 07:50 AM
preciselove preciselove is offline
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I've never really cared about changing society to suit me. Just do my own thing and keep it private where it counts. Polyamory isn't what defines me so I don't feel the need to defend it.
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Old 12-29-2010, 02:47 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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I would say it depends. If you view poly as a sort of political or social statement then yes, you should be more strident. However, if you just don't mind that your SO has other relationships and you would like to have other relationships yourself someday(or already have said relationships) then most likely not.
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Old 12-29-2010, 03:56 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Originally Posted by MindfulAgony View Post
................. And really wonder how to continue to push against patriarchy, gender roles, gender stereotypes, and homophobia...

What do you guys think?
Hey MA,

Idealism is a wonderful thing but it's a rare few that can keep focused on reality and not become swept away by the passion & glitter.

The best way to effectively 'push' against anything is to build the better mousetrap and let the facts speak for us. All the verbiage in the world, when backed up only by theory, does little good and soon fizzles. You can look at religion as an example of this. See what is has all amounted to in the long run. Some solid ideas, poorly thought out & implemented.

Do better - with all your 'causes'. Build a better WORKING model and put it on exhibition. Zip your lip and let the results speak louder for themself.

GS
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Old 12-29-2010, 04:07 PM
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Hey MA,

Idealism is a wonderful thing but it's a rare few that can keep focused on reality and not become swept away by the passion & glitter.

The best way to effectively 'push' against anything is to build the better mousetrap and let the facts speak for us. All the verbiage in the world, when backed up only by theory, does little good and soon fizzles. You can look at religion as an example of this. See what is has all amounted to in the long run. Some solid ideas, poorly thought out & implemented.

Do better - with all your 'causes'. Build a better WORKING model and put it on exhibition. Zip your lip and let the results speak louder for themself.

GS
I'm a scientist by training and generally believe that both are critical - theory and practice. From that point of view - by example - let's take engineers (practitioners primarily) and let's say physicists (theorists) bring new ideas and things into the world. But, they need each other - even if they don't know it.

In my view, a better mousetrap most often results from a testable theory.
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Old 12-29-2010, 04:20 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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..........In my view, a better mousetrap most often results from a testable theory.
Wellllllllll DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH <wink>

But your OP question about 'pushing against' didn't specify theorizing or engineering.

So which are you (theorist or builder) - or a combination ?

Because if you are only a theorist, you're going to have to sit back and see if someone else can build your mousetrap for you successfully. Until then it's just more 'talk' - which may catch some people's eye/head or not. All the talk in the world never constructed an outhouse.

We see this in action all around us all the time. People rail incessantly against everything - a lot of it justified. But not many are stepping up to the plate and building the working models of something better. And in the meantime many get tired of listening to all the noise and no action. What I'm recommending is you DON'T become one of those. Just do it. Build it and they will come.............

GS

Last edited by GroundedSpirit; 12-29-2010 at 04:25 PM.
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Old 12-29-2010, 04:31 PM
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I am neither or both - depends on when you ask.

But, I have no disdain for theorists as they go further, faster than I can go. Trial and error is terribly inefficient. Although it does often come up with very cool stuff. One has to be lucky.

Einstein was a theoretical physicist - he built nothing but elaborate ideas. Those ideas have been extraordinarily successful in practice.
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“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
-Pema Chodron

Last edited by MindfulAgony; 12-29-2010 at 05:04 PM.
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Old 12-29-2010, 06:08 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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"I'm a scientist by training and generally believe that both are critical - theory and practice. From that point of view - by example - let's take engineers (practitioners primarily) and let's say physicists (theorists) bring new ideas and things into the world. But, they need each other - even if they don't know it."



Very good point, easily forgotten by many.

Last edited by SourGirl; 12-29-2010 at 06:10 PM.
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