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  #11  
Old 12-28-2010, 12:57 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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One thing that seems to be basic to all defiinitions is that there are at least three people involved in a sexual relationship of some kind. But, beyond that, the varieties are many!
Sexual intimacy can be very important to how people love, but there are those who don't need it

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From my own experience, the most "usual" polyamory relationship involves two men and one woman. And, in most cases, one of the men will be the husband of the one woman involved. But, not always.
I honestly don't see any regular patterns. This is simply one of them

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My question to any who read this is: "How do YOU define Polyamory, and what kinds of three-person sexual relationships have you enjoyed most?"
Loving more than one. Thats it. The relationship construct around it is defined by the individuals involved

for 3 person relationships I dig ffm. ...but really the most enjoyable relationship I have had is my current one. A fmf V. Far more satisfying than any threesome I have had.
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  #12  
Old 12-28-2010, 10:40 AM
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Question flexible vs. ?

Just curious about the types. I often hear people refer to themselves as "flexible poly" meaning they are open to other sexual relationships with others but not emotional... so what is the definition for poly types who are open to both? Anyone know or have suggestions? Thanks
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:59 PM
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Hmmmmm well seeing as I am brand new to this.... this is how I see it fitting us for OUR situation.....

Im not well, hubby needs more than I can give, and has fallen for a lovely young lady, who I absolutely adore as well.....

Its only been a couple of weeks, but so far its all good

Its not JUST about sex, its about friendship, intimacy (in a non sexual way - lots of cuddles, touching etc not all leading to sex), and sharing

Thats how I see it anyhow
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Old 12-28-2010, 03:56 PM
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Totally. I'm just curious about the term.
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Old 12-28-2010, 07:25 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Originally Posted by Poison View Post
I often hear people refer to themselves as "flexible poly" meaning they are open to other sexual relationships with others but not emotional... so what is the definition for poly types who are open to both? Anyone know or have suggestions? Thanks
There is a wide variety of possibility when it comes to consensual nonmonogamy. And a wealth of valuable information is available through this forum. New members are encouraged to look through what's already here. Chances are good that your question has already been answered.

For instance, in this case, sexual involvement with partners other than one's spouse/primary without emotional or other deeper connection is understood within this community to be swinging, not polyamory. It is possible, however, to be open to both swing and poly. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.


Again, a link to the glossary and definitions: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1720
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  #16  
Old 12-28-2010, 11:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Poison View Post
Just curious about the types. I often hear people refer to themselves as "flexible poly" meaning they are open to other sexual relationships with others but not emotional... so what is the definition for poly types who are open to both? Anyone know or have suggestions? Thanks
well to me that is polyfuckery or polysexual, not polyamory. One could also include swinging and open in this.
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  #17  
Old 12-29-2010, 12:05 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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well to me that is polyfuckery or polysexual, not polyamory. One could also include swinging and open in this.
I don't necessarily read the above as polyfuckery...

What about a poly triad who is still open to swinging? The three love each other, but are still open to having sex with others?

When does polyamory stop being "loving more than one" and become being open?

Or what about that poor single poly person who is open to having casual sex to find love. Or just likes casual sex while waiting for more people to love

All of it is polyamory. Poly is just loving more than one. How people like to bang around that doesn't make it less poly.

Last edited by Ariakas; 12-29-2010 at 12:39 AM. Reason: fixed because I didn't know what poly fuckery was
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  #18  
Old 12-29-2010, 06:20 AM
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Polyfuckery to me, is a derogatory term. Used for someone who is lying to others, or themselves, in order to obtain sexual pleasures as a primary. They are hiding behind the idea of 'many loves' when they have no intention, or ability to love more then one.

You can be a swinger, open, or as my husband terms himself, 'poly-friendly'. none of which are derogatory terms. Polysexual sounds like a good term as well.

My husband has never actually been in love with 2 women at once. He is open to the concept though. He is also open to other aspects, of other alternative lifestyles.

He doesnt lie, nor hide behind a poly label,..just tells people he is poly-friendly.
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  #19  
Old 12-29-2010, 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
I don't necessarily read the above as polyfuckery...

What about a poly triad who is still open to swinging? The three love each other, but are still open to having sex with others?

When does polyamory stop being "loving more than one" and become being open?

Or what about that poor single poly person who is open to having casual sex to find love. Or just likes casual sex while waiting for more people to love

All of it is polyamory. Poly is just loving more than one. How people like to bang around that doesn't make it less poly.
poly just means more than. I read the question as more sex with more partners. Sure Poly can means whatever a person wants, but to me polyamory means more loving relationships... anything outside of that is polyfuckery, polysexual.... etc. and sure a person can be all of these at the same time.
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  #20  
Old 12-29-2010, 11:53 PM
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I completely agree with the idea of 'polyfuckery' being a derogatory term; even aesthetically I find it harsh. I like the fluidity of the concepts and understand definitions may be a little different depending on who you're talking to. I am still trying to figure out where the term "flexible poly" came from and if there is a countering term like "rigid poly" (or something) that means the opposite...
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