How important is sex to you?

[SNeacail]

I think the third category, needs to be: If I love, then I have to have sex (or at least REALLY want it).

If I don't love, then I could care less about sex.

[Tonberry]

I think the categories are too black and white. The answers you provides can be summed up as "Sex is essential" and "Sex is irrelevant". But there is a lot of wiggle room between essential and irrelevant!
I don't need sex to be in love. Actually, I've always been in love long before having sex with said person. Never have I first had sex, then fallen in love, if I'm not in love at the time we have sex, I won't be. At least if I am to believe past experiences.

However, it's not true that I couldn't care less about sex. I do care about it a lot. It's just not something I require in order to be in love.

Imagine if you asked that same question about love. If the options were "love is essential: I can't have sex if I'm not in love" and "I couldn't care less about love", you'd be missing a whole lot of people: those who can have sex with or without love, and feel love is very important.

If sex and love are dissociated, then you can find both important but not essential to one another.

Of course the fact it's cut between men and women excludes people as well, but I guess your whole purpose here was to see if people who identify as male and people who identify as female would have different answers, so I guess it kind of makes sense for you to ask it this way.

[TL4everu2]

Tonberry brings up a good point. I have excluded people who identify as gender queer, or bisexual, or are a man who identifies as a woman, or visa versa.

Come on people...Don't be so specific. Sometimes, a question is simply a question. It's not meant to be exculsionary or exclusive. It's not meant to single anyone out. It's simply a question. Sometimes, you can't include EVERYONE. Sometimes, some people will just have to accept that they have been left out....and it's not intentional...it just "is".


SNeacail, Yes, I should have put that one....as it may have included a lot more people from this lifestyle....but I was deliberatly trying to be more black and white. There is a point where people need to not be wishy washy. LOL No offense people.....If you're not sure which to choose, post your view...and I'll let you know where you fall within MY spectrum.....It may not fall in the same place as yours....it is BEST for you to choose for yourself though.

[SNeacail]

While I'm not crazy about your poll, I like this discussion.

[pixie]

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

Then the appropriate box for you to click, would be the last one, which says "I'm a woman and I could care less if I have sex or not". I mean, you almost quoted it when you stated it above. No idea why the confusion.

Since you agree, then the same would go for you too RP.

Not trying to be offending in any way either ladies. Just stating something which, to me, is obvious.



I also stated at the end that there would obviously be other options, and I apologized for not being smart enough to include everyone's choices. I simply couldn't think of them all. LOL I mean, there are about as many ways of showing romantic love, as there are people. There's only 10 choices possible. I tried to keep it simple and broadly generalized.

So, you either have to have sex in order to complete romantic love, or you don't. I, personally, do.

Nope, I disagree completely, and you completely misunderstand my point. I both agree and disagree with both your options for me so can't tick either, or I could tick both, because for me at least it is not an either/or situation that can be broadly generalised.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

Then the appropriate box for you to click, would be the last one, which says "I'm a woman and I could care less if I have sex or not". I mean, you almost quoted it when you stated it above. No idea why the confusion.

Since you agree, then the same would go for you too RP.

Not trying to be offending in any way either ladies. Just stating something which, to me, is obvious.

I think what is keeping me from chosing that option is the "couldn't care less" part... I do care and would very much like to have some relationships interactive in that kind of way, it just isn't the best choice for me or them or everyone else. If it said "I'm a woman and don't require sex with with partners" or something along those lines then I would click it no problem. Maybe its semantics, but to me it's a bit of a bruise to think that I am not interested in sex... so not true and quite the opposite. I am practicing NOT going straight to sex in order to connect. I'm trying to see it as a spiritual thing. A connection of spirit rather than fucking... if that makes sense...

[TL4everu2]

RP,
It makes sense. To me, I like to build a relationship with the woman first. Then, after I have developed that relationship...Sex somewhat completes the circle so to speak. At least for me. I feel that there can be sex with out love, but there can't be "romantic" love without sex.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

RP,
It makes sense. To me, I like to build a relationship with the woman first. Then, after I have developed that relationship...Sex somewhat completes the circle so to speak. At least for me. I feel that there can be sex with out love, but there can't be "romantic" love without sex.

*nod* I get that... normally this is the same for me, but I have come across love in my life that doesn't include sex... *shrug* I don't question. I just open my heart and let it out. What else to do really? Besides I have enough sex going on... I don't need more. Seriously, I don't

[Ariakas]

It really depends on the person and the stage of the relationship.

Yes in general sex is important
But no it is not the most important or even required. You can achieve intimacy without sex.

[BrigidsDaughter]

For me sex is like breathing, its something I need to do and when I'm not getting it regularly it feels like not being able to catch your breath (I have asthma so the not being able to breathe thing is familiar) and desperately wanting to. I've had relationships start with sex (my husband in particular) and relationships that started with friendship and lead to sex (my bestfriend/ lover/ boyfriend). I can have sex without a relationship (casual sex) but the idea of not having sex with the people I love is just crazy to me.