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  #51  
Old 12-24-2010, 03:21 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by Somegeezer View Post
Why does the idea of a cuddle pile make you want to "jet from the room"? I could understand not wanting to participate, but that sounds like a serious phobia or something. Are your husband and boyfriend separate from each other too? Do they also enjoy they get you alone from each other when snuggling? Have you ever snuggled one in front of the other? What was the others reaction if so?
Count me as another weird one. Cuddling with non intimates makes me wanna gag. Its not a phobia, its just very intimate. I find cuddling a more intimate act then sex. I can cuddle with "some" of my friends. As in 2. But one is an ex of mine and one is the closest female friend I have ever had, without sexual intimacy.

As the bf in this discussion. I wouldn't say what we have done is cuddling, but we don't have problems with PDA when in our midst. But in "cuddle" situations, we havent doubled her up, as it were. Our cuddling is separate although it could be in the same room I suppose.

SG's explanation of why a threesome would work with 2 guys best explains it. Having the guy there would be no different than using sex toys. It would be US trying to please and satisfy her. Although I imagine it might be a bonding experience, but I haven't actually done a MMF yet
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  #52  
Old 12-24-2010, 03:28 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I'm not into cuddle piles with strangers either. I like cuddling only with people I'm intimate with (that is partners). I can imagine being willing to cuddle with a female I'm very very close to, but I can't imagine that happening too often.
I agree that cuddling is the more intimate act: sex has the option of being mechanical, loveless, without that much contact. Cuddling not so much. By definition it's tender, deliberate, affectionate, slow and there is a lot of contact.
Cuddling is an act that makes you vulnerable in front of other people, and I would need to really trust anyone I'm cuddling with. I think cuddle piles are a cool concept, and much better than a fighting pile or whatever, but they don't sound much like my thing. I think I'll stick to hugs and hand shaking.
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  #53  
Old 12-24-2010, 06:21 PM
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A lot of interesting responses on it there. =] I'm not sure where to begin replying. =P
I now understand the different rooms for everyone. If the other 2 were poly and had someone over, you'd not have anywhere but maybe the sofa. [thankfully my sofa is rather comfortable!]... But I think if they did have someone else, I'd rather they went to this other partner's house, instead of trying to cram into my tiny one. =P Not because I wouldn't want them there having their fun, but it isn't fair to have so many people in a small house. Someone would miss out on some sleep, possibly. Though if there were more people living together, all their funds could actually manage to get a bigger house together.

Everyone seems to have their own comfort level with cuddling. Which isn't a surprise. Very interesting to read how everyone feels about that though. =]
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  #54  
Old 12-25-2010, 03:52 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I was thinking "who to reply to" as well!

I cuddle with Maca, GG or my kids. That's the limit.

I don't like to cuddle with people I'm not intimate with (or my kids).

On the other hand, I also don't get intimate with people I'm not in long term relationships with as a rule of thumb either. Just not my gig.

At the same time, to me cuddling up to go to sleep is a comforting activity-like I would do with a sick child.

HOwever, sex is play (loving play yes-but still play).

SO-while I know that the guys have the "omg will he be touching me?" issue in cuddling up to go to sleep and they don't have to worry about that during a 3some, cause everyone is awake and that simply isn't going to happen-

I wish we could cuddle-because that to me is a more romantic and loving sharing of me than sex is.
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  #55  
Old 12-25-2010, 08:05 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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lots of members of my community here cuddle each other or give massages and affection. Especially when a person is hurting. I find it to be really admirable and loving of people. I just can't give in that way. I can listen and discuss and write on here to support, but I can't touch like that. I do that with some clients, but it is contrived and forced. I am good at that with them, but they usually go to others for that kind of thing because I'm sure they can feel my energy isn't in it.

I'm not sure I get the benefit of cuddling strangers or semi-close friends... I guess it would be a matter of getting closeness when normally you might not. That makes sense to me.
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  #56  
Old 12-26-2010, 01:03 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Cuddle piles on the couch effing ROCK, especially if I'm sick or down. The loving energy is amazing.
I'd just like to clarify that I meant with DH and BF, not random strangers ... Not sure if it's still a pile with only three people.
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  #57  
Old 12-26-2010, 06:47 AM
booklady78 booklady78 is offline
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I would love a big cuddle pile with my guys! We have a sectional couch and have, on occasion, watch movies with me in the middle with my head on someone's lap and someone else gets my feet, lol! I try to switch it up so no one gets stuck with my feet all the time :P

I've been reading the "5 Love Languages" and I took an online quiz associated with it. Physical touch was the highest "expression of love" for me, I love hugs and holding hands. It's reassuring and comforting for me to be able to touch my guys, even if it's just toes touching under the table

I do find that my boyfriend is a bit more "cuddly" than my husband, I think that's just a difference in personality between the two of them. Both are affectionate, in their own special ways <3
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  #58  
Old 12-26-2010, 06:55 AM
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Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
I would love a big cuddle pile with my guys! We have a sectional couch and have, on occasion, watch movies with me in the middle with my head on someone's lap and someone else gets my feet, lol! I try to switch it up so no one gets stuck with my feet all the time :P

I've been reading the "5 Love Languages" and I took an online quiz associated with it. Physical touch was the highest "expression of love" for me, I love hugs and holding hands. It's reassuring and comforting for me to be able to touch my guys, even if it's just toes touching under the table

I do find that my boyfriend is a bit more "cuddly" than my husband, I think that's just a difference in personality between the two of them. Both are affectionate, in their own special ways <3
That sounds sweet. =] A relationship I could be happy with myself.
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  #59  
Old 12-26-2010, 03:55 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
I would love a big cuddle pile with my guys! We have a sectional couch and have, on occasion, watch movies with me in the middle with my head on someone's lap and someone else gets my feet, lol! I try to switch it up so no one gets stuck with my feet all the time :P

I've been reading the "5 Love Languages" and I took an online quiz associated with it. Physical touch was the highest "expression of love" for me, I love hugs and holding hands. It's reassuring and comforting for me to be able to touch my guys, even if it's just toes touching under the table

I do find that my boyfriend is a bit more "cuddly" than my husband, I think that's just a difference in personality between the two of them. Both are affectionate, in their own special ways <3
We have an L-shaped couch, so it works rather nicely, too!
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  #60  
Old 12-26-2010, 04:09 PM
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Sapphire Sapphire is offline
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This thread is what made me sign up and pop a post in the introductions section, and now here

I actually find that I am feeling better about things if my husband and his girlfriend, well, I should really call her 'our' girlfriend I suppose, cuddle up together on the couch or the bed.

I had a brief encounter with another girl when I was in college - I suppose most people do something they would normally never do - and it never went beyond kissing, but I do not consider myself a lesbian because of it, perhaps Bi Curious would be a better term.

I actually really enjoy the 'intimacy' of the 'cuddle pile' of the three of us, and just being with my husband and our friend.

I have no problem with them displaying affection for each other in front of me - kissing, cuddling, etc. I am actually pleased to see them happy.

Yes, I do have a little stab of, hmm, I dont know if Jealousy is the word I am looking for, but I do feel a bit left out is probably the right description, and I feel sad that when I see them playing together outside, or inside, just roughhousing and romping around - nothing sexual, just fun stuff, I get sad because I cannot do this due to my situation with my health.

I want nothing more than to be healthy again and be able to do all the things I so dearly want to do, but my stupid body doesnt want to play the game.

I do have to say, that my husband is not the best kisser in the world. Dont get me wrong, he does kiss nicely, but I would like some long, slow, tender kisses from time to time.

I find I enjoy just the touching and cuddling more than anything else, as most other things cause me a great deal of pain, which in turn, takes the enjoyment out of it.

I do love it when my husband sits between me and our friend on the couch and we can both cuddle up to him, and she plays with my hair.
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