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  #41  
Old 12-24-2010, 02:06 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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SomeGeezer,... think of it this way....

It`s like watching straight porn. Millions of men watch porn.
they see a man and a woman fuck, and even though they see a naked man, they aren`t watching ...HIM. The man being in the porno, doesn`t mean the guy watching is attracted or sexual with other males.


They are focused on the ACT, and the pleasure the WOMAN receives.

Ditto a MMF featuring 2 straight males. They sure aren`t interested in each other. The woman is the focus.

Hope that clarifies.
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  #42  
Old 12-24-2010, 02:07 AM
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double post.

Last edited by SourGirl; 12-24-2010 at 02:08 AM. Reason: double post.
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  #43  
Old 12-24-2010, 02:32 AM
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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
SomeGeezer,... think of it this way....

It`s like watching straight porn. Millions of men watch porn.
they see a man and a woman fuck, and even though they see a naked man, they aren`t watching ...HIM. The man being in the porno, doesn`t mean the guy watching is attracted or sexual with other males.


They are focused on the ACT, and the pleasure the WOMAN receives.

Ditto a MMF featuring 2 straight males. They sure aren`t interested in each other. The woman is the focus.

Hope that clarifies.
Yes. Which is why I would not exactly mind if they wanted me there to watch. But I would not join in, just as I would never film my own porn. Even then, I'd just prefer not to watch either porn or other people fucking. I'm not saying nobody should do it. I just don't want to. It's not for me. =]
So I wasn't confused about anything. Just saying it isn't something I would be interested in and wondering who else feels the same way. Who else would leave them to it, or who would stay in the same bed, or even, who would join in?
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  #44  
Old 12-24-2010, 02:49 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Originally Posted by Somegeezer View Post
That makes me think of another question though. In the privacy of your own home, when 2 are doing their thing in the bedroom, would most people sleep on the sofa or the spare room instead? *assuming you would usually sleep together anyways...*
That's a good question... and I don't really know. If I'm in the mood I'd probably want to join or do it with someone else (in the event of 4+ people being there). Otherwise I'd want to be alone.
But to be fair my ideal house configuration would have a bedroom for each person, and this way anyone can just go to theirs if they want some alone time. And I assume A and B wouldn't decide to go at it in C's bed, they'd use one of their own.
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  #45  
Old 12-24-2010, 03:07 AM
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Yes. Which is why I would not exactly mind if they wanted me there to watch. But I would not join in, just as I would never film my own porn. Even then, I'd just prefer not to watch either porn or other people fucking. I'm not saying nobody should do it. I just don't want to. It's not for me. =]
So I wasn't confused about anything. Just saying it isn't something I would be interested in and wondering who else feels the same way. Who else would leave them to it, or who would stay in the same bed, or even, who would join in?
Ahhh ok, that makes sense.

You most certainly dont have to change your mind, nor was that my intent.

Your sentence about BEING sexual with the other man, is what confused me. Especially with the remarks about 'I can enjoy looking at another man' etc.
It read to me, like you assumed 2 men on the same bed, automatically meant bi action, between the two.

Which, I now understand isn`t the case in a 'general' pov, just a pov for yourself personally.

So now,..I`m not confused over your non-confusion.

*** back to topic ***

I find it interesting too, the differences between us all. I am not afraid of intimacy, but the idea of cuddle parties, or cuddle piles makes me want to jet from the room. I am finding I like to keep my intimacies seperate.

When I want to snuggle with my husband, I want to snuggle him alone. When I want to snuggle with my boyfriend, I snuggle him alone. Snuggling both is not up my alley at all.
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  #46  
Old 12-24-2010, 04:48 AM
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That's a good question... and I don't really know. If I'm in the mood I'd probably want to join or do it with someone else (in the event of 4+ people being there). Otherwise I'd want to be alone.
But to be fair my ideal house configuration would have a bedroom for each person, and this way anyone can just go to theirs if they want some alone time. And I assume A and B wouldn't decide to go at it in C's bed, they'd use one of their own.
See, my house on has 2 bedrooms. Plus, I'd most likely end up renting the 2nd room out once everyone already here moves out and it becomes my house. =P
Though I suppose with othe rpartners living there, I'd have no need to rent it. Still... Only 2 bedrooms between 3 or more people. At least 2 would have to share a bedroom at one time. I couldn't imagine a separate bedroom for every individual. Expensive house that would be.

But I do understand. If you're being left out, you'd rather be completely out of the way. Which is how I feel about it too.

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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Ahhh ok, that makes sense.

You most certainly dont have to change your mind, nor was that my intent.

Your sentence about BEING sexual with the other man, is what confused me. Especially with the remarks about 'I can enjoy looking at another man' etc.
It read to me, like you assumed 2 men on the same bed, automatically meant bi action, between the two.

Which, I now understand isn`t the case in a 'general' pov, just a pov for yourself personally.

So now,..I`m not confused over your non-confusion.

*** back to topic ***

I find it interesting too, the differences between us all. I am not afraid of intimacy, but the idea of cuddle parties, or cuddle piles makes me want to jet from the room. I am finding I like to keep my intimacies seperate.

When I want to snuggle with my husband, I want to snuggle him alone. When I want to snuggle with my boyfriend, I snuggle him alone. Snuggling both is not up my alley at all.
Sorry for confusing you. =[ I have a habit of doing that. I don't always choose the best words to get out what I'm trying to say.

Why does the idea of a cuddle pile make you want to "jet from the room"? I could understand not wanting to participate, but that sounds like a serious phobia or something. Are your husband and boyfriend separate from each other too? Do they also enjoy they get you alone from each other when snuggling? Have you ever snuggled one in front of the other? What was the others reaction if so?
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  #47  
Old 12-24-2010, 07:52 AM
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I don't snuggle PN or Mono in front of the other. I will snuggle them both if we are watching a movie or something, but that came in time, with built up comfort.

For me its about respect. I cuddle Mono far more than PN but we keep that for private. We are always on top of one another in a body pile.
PN is an intermittent cuddler, so when we are together I like to keep space for hugs and kisses, gropes, but nothing prolonged. Neither man is concerned about the closeness with the other though, they like to see that I am actively loved and enjoy seeing me being affectionate with the other. It just works better to have space. Mostly, I think because *I* need it, not because of anything to do with them.

I have two partners and a child in my house. That is a whole lot of physical hands on attention. Plus I have a very touchy feely job. Most of the time I go to them, unless they specifically ask me because I am touched out.

When derby is with us I am physically closer to her. That just seems fair as we don't get alone time often so we make up for touch time with others around.
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  #48  
Old 12-24-2010, 08:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Somegeezer View Post

Why does the idea of a cuddle pile make you want to "jet from the room"?
I'm similar to Sourgirl in this. There is just to much energy, and physical intimacy in this for me. I can watch porn, strangers fucking but I don't even want to see that kind of intimacy among my friends. I don't like that type of energy from anyone accept Redpepper touching me. Maybe we're just weird
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  #49  
Old 12-24-2010, 01:44 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
SomeGeezer,... think of it this way....

It`s like watching straight porn. Millions of men watch porn.
they see a man and a woman fuck, and even though they see a naked man, they aren`t watching ...HIM. The man being in the porno, doesn`t mean the guy watching is attracted or sexual with other males.


They are focused on the ACT, and the pleasure the WOMAN receives.

Ditto a MMF featuring 2 straight males. They sure aren`t interested in each other. The woman is the focus.

Hope that clarifies.
That makes so much sense, SG. Can't wait to ask the guys about this and see what they have to say. Not to convince them, mind you, just to challenge them!

Last edited by TruckerPete; 12-24-2010 at 01:45 PM. Reason: clarity
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  #50  
Old 12-24-2010, 03:21 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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See, my house on has 2 bedrooms. Plus, I'd most likely end up renting the 2nd room out once everyone already here moves out and it becomes my house. =P
Though I suppose with othe rpartners living there, I'd have no need to rent it. Still... Only 2 bedrooms between 3 or more people. At least 2 would have to share a bedroom at one time. I couldn't imagine a separate bedroom for every individual. Expensive house that would be.

But I do understand. If you're being left out, you'd rather be completely out of the way. Which is how I feel about it too.
Well, it's a few things. One is practicality: right now it's just the Vee with me at the hinge, but they're both poly, so what if they both have another girlfriend and we all live together? Already that's five people, and who sleeps with whom? It would really depend on who feels like spending time with whom, right? And then if their girlfriends also have someone else, boyfriend or girlfriend, whether that person lives with us too or comes over, they'd want some privacy as well...
In a mono relationship, one bed is fine I guess because there is only one possible sleeping configuration (or if you occasionally sleep separately usually one will use the couch). More people mean more configuration.

Imagine my husband is dating. I wouldn't want his girlfriend's first night over to be sharing a bed not only with her boyfriend, but his wife and her boyfriend. Talk about awkward!

Then you have the privacy thing. I like the idea of everyone having their own space they can retreat too. It doesn't have to be just a bedroom, it can be each person's office that has a place in it where you can sleep for instance.

And finally, while the "sister wife" model works when only one person is poly (they sleep in a different bed depending on who they feel like being with or depending on a schedule, each mono person has their own bedroom, the poly person has no bedroom) that doesn't work as well when everyone is poly. Imagine both my guys have a bedroom and I have none, going from one room to the next. What happens when they both have a girlfriend and want some private time? I have absolutely nowhere to go to!

I don't think it's necessarily and expensive house if the sleeping areas aren't too huge, and I like the idea of having my own space anyways, be it for sleeping alone if I need to or for working, or just relaxing knowing nobody will come and bother me.
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