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  #11  
Old 12-19-2010, 12:16 AM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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Thanks for the feedback everyone has given. With regards to finding another partner and having him possibly as a secondary....I wasn't certain that I wanted to be poly in terms of my having other partners. More like a mono within a poly relationship. Although I hadn't made any final decision along those lines.

While it would be nice in some ways to be able to remain friends, I have a hard time separating my heart from someone whose been a close friend and lover and not continue to miss them and long for them. It's hard to figure out whether it's better not seeing him in any capacity....or being around him in some capacity even if it's not what I fully want. I HATE it when that happens! Sometimes I just wish I could turn my feelings right off...but I worked darn hard to finally get in touch with them after years of numbing.

It's not that we would be "enemies". I try not to waste time on stuff like that. I got along fine with both of my ex-husbands (even the one who cheated on me.) I didn't hang out with them much after our divorces, but I wished them nothing but the best.

The other challenge is that many of their friends and family have also become my friends. I have a few friends independent of them in the area where I live, but we don't share as many interests.

GRRRRRRR Sometimes I just want to kick myself for falling into this whole mess....and maybe that's ultimately what hurts the most. But who knows....maybe I would have kicked myself for at least not trying what could have been a wonderful thing?! And I am glad I made the move to a new area. I'm loving the no snow and ice thing in December!

Last edited by dragonflysky; 12-19-2010 at 12:24 AM.
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  #12  
Old 12-19-2010, 02:22 AM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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I think if you're not fully happy and there's no way he is going to make an effort to even change it so you can at least have happiness for the majority of it, what is the point in it at all? There are people who will give you the time and love that you need and you should be giving your time to them in return, rather than wasting energy on someone who really doesn't seem to care.

Lucky you with no ice though! We nearly crashed the Range Rover into a lamp post this morning. >.<
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  #13  
Old 12-19-2010, 03:13 AM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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Yikes! S.G. I hope all is well with people and the Land Rover?! I miss seeing snow at Christmas time, but I sure don't miss driving in it.
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  #14  
Old 12-19-2010, 12:55 PM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonflysky View Post
Yikes! S.G. I hope all is well with people and the Land Rover?! I miss seeing snow at Christmas time, but I sure don't miss driving in it.
Completely fine. It was pretty funny really. I wouldn't want to walk in it though. I'm glad I don't often have to leave the house at the moment.

But back to the topic at hand. =] Have you gotten any further with the problem yet?
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  #15  
Old 12-19-2010, 03:12 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Wow, that really sucks, dragonfly. I think (some) men in a poly relationship (my ex included) get all puffed up to be fucking 2 women and get inflated opinions of how big of a man they are, how they can satisfy two women, find enough time for everyone, and make it all work.

I hate that you pointed out the possible hazards in the relationship and he just brushed it all aside. And now the reality is just as you predicted! Argh!

Also, I recently had a guy say to me, I am sorry IF I hurt you, when I had said in no uncertain terms, he HAD hurt me. And that was a much lesser hurt than what your guy laid on you! Grrrr!

And you already started sharing their lives, kids, friends. And now this? What a bastard. You're well out of that relationship. *hug*
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  #16  
Old 12-19-2010, 03:38 PM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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Thanks for the words of support, Magdlyn. I responded the same when he said "if I hurt you." I said he most certainly did hurt me and did he really think it would be any different knowing how deeply I feel and care about people in my life?! His response, "I was hoping......"
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