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  #11  
Old 12-18-2010, 10:31 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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What is wrong with their pace? It isn't how you do things but isn't that because it is their relationship? It sounds like you are confused by this and I would be too probably, but it is their relationship and their way of doing things... if your gf is okay with it all then its all good no?

If you want them to get the sex part over with because you want to hurry up and deal with it, it looks like you are going to have to respectfully wait. You wouldn't want them to rush because of you would you....? really?

Maybe she should stop talking about what they do so much and let you know when she thinks the sex might happen in order for you to prepare. Perhaps by then it will be more of a "oh thank god" thing rather than a "okay, lets deal thing" not all bad I think?
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  #12  
Old 12-18-2010, 10:33 PM
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btw, my PN travels at a snails pace most of the time, with everything... I ask him not to tell me details about his pace with his partners... I ask him to tell me when he thinks they might have sex... its worked for me as I just want to meddle otherwise.
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  #13  
Old 12-18-2010, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
What is wrong with their pace? It isn't how you do things but isn't that because it is their relationship? It sounds like you are confused by this
I am!

Quote:
and I would be too probably, but it is their relationship and their way of doing things... if your gf is okay with it all then its all good no?
Yeah... I guess. I sure felt I needed to vent about it here tho, because it doesnt feel "good," you know? It feels weird! (Hence my subject title.)

Quote:

If you want them to get the sex part over with because you want to hurry up and deal with it, it looks like you are going to have to respectfully wait. You wouldn't want them to rush because of you would you....? really?
No, of course not. My gf is sending me mixed messages tho. On the one hand she says she is fine with the pace and with LC always being there, 5 times. On the other hand, she does careful personal grooming to be ready for the sex each time before a date! She's a sub so she's just following his/their lead. I am sure when M is ready for full on sex, he'll make that clear to LC and she will make herself scarce. I just feel on tenterhooks. I generally have to fend men off, myself, from going too fast into the sex bit. Quite the opposite of this situation.

Quote:
Maybe she should stop talking about what they do so much and let you know when she thinks the sex might happen in order for you to prepare. Perhaps by then it will be more of a "oh thank god" thing rather than a "okay, lets deal thing" not all bad I think?
Nah, it's in both our natures to gush and share most details of any dates we have with each other.
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I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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  #14  
Old 12-18-2010, 10:42 PM
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btw, you're a pervert

sorry, couldn't resist and you did ask...
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  #15  
Old 12-18-2010, 11:09 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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mags, have you asked your gf about this already? asked her whether or not it's a problem for her? just out of concern for her as a friend? because that would give all of us something substantial to work with here.
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  #16  
Old 12-19-2010, 12:35 AM
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Yes, we've discussed it at length, Neon. She's fine with the slow courtship and she's fine with the gf being there!

I'm the one that's weirded out by it. It's messing with my head. Messing with my ability to feel compersion, because this odd 3way-yet-not-a-3way feels alien to me.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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  #17  
Old 12-19-2010, 12:51 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Yes, we've discussed it at length, Neon. She's fine with the slow courtship and she's fine with the gf being there!

I'm the one that's weirded out by it. It's messing with my head. Messing with my ability to feel compersion, because this odd 3way-yet-not-a-3way feels alien to me.
then i'm with you, it's weird that you're weirded out by it. it doesn't seem like you. you seem so laid-back that one would think you wouldn't even notice something like this.

if your gf had an issue with it, then yes i could understand you being "weirded out of concern for her.
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  #18  
Old 12-19-2010, 01:07 AM
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Nah, I'm not that laid back, Neon. I can get pretty stressed out and depressed sometimes, as well as swinging to ecstasy on a regular basis. Maybe that doesn't come across online.

I just don't think this is common, to have 5 dates in a row, with the partner along each time. But I am sure it has something to do with the D/s power dynamic. If they want a slave in the house, as the Domme, LC wants to fully interview/screen my gf, I'd think. It's a trust building thing...

I'm a newbie at even vicariously experiencing the 24/7 D/s relationship, but my gf is experienced in it. She's recently shared with me what it was like when she first got with one of her masters, and that master's sub partner. I guess it had similarities to this.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)

Last edited by Magdlyn; 12-19-2010 at 01:15 AM.
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