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Old 12-16-2010, 01:32 AM
glowinthedarkstars glowinthedarkstars is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Somewhere under the rainbow
Posts: 156
Default Communication vs. Sharing too much

I know that communication is super important on all aspects. When GF decided she wanted some space form my OSO I told him so and the reasons why. P got upset because he wishes he never new why because now he feels like he has to pretend like he never knew to begin with. Sometimes I realize I tell too much. For instance sometimes I chat with my girl friends about my relationships looking for advice. Its not as though I would call them up to say "Hey my realtionship is going so wonderfully so why dont we chat about it?" no I call when I have troubles. Now P feels as though that is an invasion of his privacy. is it? Yes to an extent, but it involves me and if I cant talk to my OSO or friends about things I feel like I am bottling them all up. I feel that at age 20 being a female it is rather natural to complain now and again about things, but SO feels it is not okay for me to do this. I understand and want to respect his privacy and at the same time I feel it is vital for me to be able to talk to other people.

Sometimes I will talk to SO (P) about an instance a friend had (say he asked me how a friend was and instead of saying fine, i might say "she was rather drunk". It really might not be my place to say this but I feel as though I trust my SO and mean no harm by it. He takes offense because if i was to say this to him, I might say it to one of my friends about him, which he finds hurtful.

I feel like everytime we discuss this we can never come to a conclusion because when he tells me to stop sharing stuff with him about other people I feel this overwhelming feeling of "wow I cant talk to anyone about anything".

I feel kind of like a bad gossipy person, but I honestly never mean any harm and dont just say anything to anyone. Do any of you have any ideas how to discuss this in a manner that will be productive for all parties involved?

what are you opinions?
Do you ever talk to a friend about things going on in your relationships knowing that it is said in confidence between you and your friends? I guess my struggle is I rarley think people are judging me and do not really care what people talk about me, i am fairy open about my sex life and my social life and whatnot and I have to come to terms that SO is more private in many ways. I feel almost limited by his privacy needs but at the same time I understand them and long to respect them. I just feel by doing so I am bottling everything up.

Advice please
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boundaries, comminication, communication, compassion, dadt, empathy, honesty, metamour, metamours, overshare, privacy, secrecy, sex talk, sharing information

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