Is thin the only sexy?

[whatamIdoing]

i was SMO last year. so was my DH...
I had gastric bypass and now I'm still considered overweight but I'm not skinny. I have a lot of padding around my hips and belly due to excess skin.

I like a man or a woman with some padding. I don't like skinny. I don't like bony and yet here I am with bony shoulders... ankles and wrists. After plastics my hips will stick out too... when I lay down you can see ribs..even with the layer of skin padding me...

healthy and fit is sexy.

I am healthy and fit. I can walk forever.. I can run a little but I don't cause I'm old and it hurts my joints. I can do yoga for hours.. and not just sitting and meditating.. I have heavy dense muscles.

People that assume that fat or overweight folks are slobs or don't care about themselves have no clue... I struggled so hard to try to lose weight and NOTHING I did would budge me under 200 and at under 5'3" that's still obese.

heck 180 renders me obese still...

I'm still overweight by the charts... but not to look at me or hug my bony body....

[marksbabygirl]

Originally Posted by Somegeezer

To me, I think a middle ground is to be had. I want people to be healthy and fit. People who are too thin or too fat just project that they don't care about themselves, so why would they care about a relationship with me?

Yeah... that gets my hackles up.

I have, for about 5 years, hovered around 230-250. Flattish belly, great figure, and lots of energy. I made noises about wanting to lose weight, but really, I was happy.

Then stress hit.

My husband had 2 heart attacks. I lost what I thought was a secure job. Then I lost a 2nd job. Then I started another job. Then we got involved in poly.

My figure changed. I am now round, more barrell shaped, have excess fat where before was tightness and tautness, and stepped on the scale this morning to discover I have broken yet another one of my personal "I'll never weigh that much" lines.

Is it because I don't care about myself? Nope - I do.. and am working on it.

Likely had we not had as much of a stressful year as we had, I would have not gained or continued on the losing track.

So making an assumption based on what someone looks like - you may lose out on a really great person.

Sexy is an attitude. Its a state of mind. Its a state of confidence. It has nothing to do with body size or shape.

[cheyennenovo]

Not only is the question pretty easy, but most of the contributors here have said it in different ways.

Not only is "sexy" independent from "thin," but folks who don't know any better simply miss the opportunity to experience what's possible outside their prejudice.

't's okay though. the loss may not seem significant to either side.

Chey

[Fidelia]

Originally Posted by Somegeezer

People who are too thin or too fat just project that they don't care about themselves, so why would they care about a relationship with me?

Okay, wow. Let the shit-storm begin . . .

Originally Posted by nycindie

Oooh, I hate that notion! Makes me so mad when people think that. It's such a selfish viewpoint. Who is anyone else to say I don't care enough about myself because I gain weight? Or that I can't care about anyone else enough? Come on, that's horse shit. . . .

Originally Posted by marksbabygirl

Yeah... that gets my hackles up.

Before any more of the polypeeps jump on Somegeezer like a chicken on a June bug in defense of beautiful bodies of every size, I would like to point out that according to his profile, this "geezer" is 18. I know when I was 18 I bought a lot of the crap that I heard out in the world, like "fat people don't care about themselves" and "you can't be too rich or too thin." Hell, when I was 18 I actually thought women were supposed to look like what I saw in the media!

I hope those of us who are triggered by his comment can take a moment, take a breath, and then take advantage of this opportunity to educate rather than castigate.

ADDITIONALLY: he also said:

Originally Posted by Somegeezer

Health, confidence, intelligence and honesty. Perfect for me.

I love this thought. I never would have been this aware at his age.

Another post I love:

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

Having sex with women with meat on their bones, is PERFECT. I like my women to weigh more than me. They need to be in the 175-250 range, and be at least 5'2" to 6' tall. This way, they have a figure (not a shape...round is a shape ya know...a FIGURE) AND, they can move around and change positions mid way if we decide to do so. Also, more positional options are available to us.

My wife is a well built woman....so is our girlfriend. I find them BOTH sexy as hell. Do I like to LOOK at thinner women? Yes, I do. But I wouldn't choose to sleep with them. I've done it, and it doesn't work for me.

TL4everu2, you are my kinda man. (You are a man, aren't you? Doesn't matter . . . grrr! )

[MonoVCPHG]

Boney or very lean athletic are not my preferences. I like woman soft and well....feminine.
RP is just perfect! xoxoxoox

[marksbabygirl]

[QUOTE=Fidelia;55928]I hope those of us who are triggered by his comment can take a moment, take a breath, and then take advantage of this opportunity to educate rather than castigate.[QUOTE]

I had a long post typed out - I deleted it.

My intent was to educate. I'm aware of how old he is.

[TL4everu2]

Originally Posted by Fidelia

You are a man, aren't you?

Yes....I was the last time I went to the restroom. Things could have changed since then though...It's been a couple hours now. LOL

[Somegeezer]

I like how most of the people who have a problem with my words only seem to be quoting on the part about being obese, when I clearly state the opposite is also just as bad. Keyword here? HEALTHY. Obese is not healthy. Neither is malnutrition. Yes I am also 18. This means nothing. So the average 18 year old is on par with a 5 year old in terms of attitude, but I'm not one of them. Not everyone adheres to a stereotype. I see a lot of people on here who are in their 50s and 60s. How are they even able to use a computer? Because they aren't like the rest of the stereotype. So I'm shallow... Who isn't? The first thing that attracts any 2 people is the way they look. If you didn't like the way they looked, you'd never approach them to find that more important personality. That's life. Get over it already.

[whatamIdoing]

The first thing that attracts any 2 people is the way they look. If you didn't like the way they looked, you'd never approach them to find that more important personality.

funny that's not the case with me currently. While my husband is my physical type, my BF is NOT.... I don't really care for his looks at all.... and while my husband at 290 pounds has perfect health numbers my very slender BF does not... go figure.

[TL4everu2]

When you mature, you will realize that there is more to a person than just their looks.