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Old 12-15-2010, 06:53 PM
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cheyennenovo cheyennenovo is offline
New Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: In virtual space
Posts: 4
Default Back to the Family

I've been away from the community for many years. I thought that patience and love would make the difference in my committed relationship, but clearly now, that wasn't going to be the case.

I've known that I am poly from the time (around 1995) that I first found the newsgroup and discovered Loving More.

I'm not currently (start of 2011) looking for a relationship. I want to take some time to process the end of my last relationship. But I do need the comfort of hearing from folks who are celebrating joyous and healthy relationships. Not having been around poly people for some time, \my doubts have begun to resurface.

I'm here to reconnect, and be inspired by the relationships and families that many of you have. If I can contribute a well-timed insight or point of view, then my time here will have been well spent.

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Old 12-15-2010, 07:38 PM
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Andy4700 Andy4700 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Southern Minnesota, USA
Posts: 56

Hello all,

Been around here a while but haven't added to this topic...

I am Andy. I am 26. I am married and in a open relationship. My wife is not poly, but has been amazingly supportive of me finding someone to explore with.

We live in southern Minnesota, about 2 hours south of the Minneapolis area.

I am seeking a simple friends with benefits/casual girlfriends type V situation. Heavy emphasis on the emotional friends connection not on sex. My wife is interested in a possible friendship with whomever I would find, but is not bisexual.

Thats me in a a nutshell. If anyone is interested in talking to me more, PM me. I'm actively seeking both a partner and just like minded friends.
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Old 12-20-2010, 03:27 AM
exmarinesgte5 exmarinesgte5 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Frisco(Dallas), TX
Posts: 6
Default Seeking Poly Relationship in Texas or Midwest

Hi, My name is Russ, and I live if Frisco (Dallas area). I have dabbled in 'swinging' relationships with women and couples, a few times in the past. It just seemed 'natural' to me, as my wife and I have had problems for years. She had a stroke a couple of years ago, and is very limited in many things that she does. I am simply seeking what I miss so much in a relationship - intimacy. So I am looking for a woman, couple, or group, for a "fun, friendly" intimate relalationship. I am caucasian, 55, 5' 10", 180, and in great shape. I call on customers across the DFW area, Texas, the sourrounding States, and the Central U.S. A long distance relationship would certainly be welcomed, but it would be great to find such a relationship in an area, where I get to frequently on business.
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Old 12-22-2010, 06:07 PM
Francesca Francesca is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Near Detroit Michigan
Posts: 6

Hello all I'm Francesca feel free to send me a message. I am eighteen and am bisexual with a preference way towards women.

I guess you all are wondering about me, what you are going to get out of reading this, and more.

First I am currently practicing monogamy for a couple months or more because a new partner is going through some rough times and I want to be there to support her.

I hope to start practicing polygamorous relationships once she gets her living arrangements settled and then relocate after college.

Got a question? Ask me.

Goodbye for now!
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Old 12-25-2010, 03:19 PM
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MMMark MMMark is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 10

Saturday, December 25, 2010 09:34 - 10:20 EST
. post #2

Hello, and Merry Christmas.

I recently discovered this forum after reading a Wikipedia article on "polyamory". Although I'd heard the word years before, I hadn't looked into it, assuming it was another word for "swinging."

Now I discover that it's more like non-monogamy with honesty and without guilt, which is an idea that makes perfect sense to me.

I have never felt that, nor understood why, strong feelings for one person "should" diminish or interfere with one's feelings for a second (or third, etc.) person. Whenever I have tried to explain this, however, I've received responses such as "You're weird," "You just want to eat your cake and have it too," or "You're afraid of commitment." Safely ensconced in the fortress of "conventional wisdom" and traditional morality, these remarks are usually accompanied by a certain air of smug self-righteousness.

But, this is about to change.

Because now, I realize I'm not "weird."
Because now, I realize that many others have beliefs similar to mine.
And because now, I have a WORD for my beliefs: Polyamory.

From now on, I'm gonna say it loud, and I'm gonna say it proud:

"I'm polyamorous!"

Last edited by MMMark; 12-25-2010 at 03:38 PM. Reason: formatting
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Old 12-30-2010, 08:23 AM
zephyr zephyr is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 9

I'm Zephyr. I'm 40ish, married for a couple decades. My husband is a shade older. We've just moved into a new place, along with our fiance. We are a closed MFF triad, dealing with all the bumps and bruises of a new relationship settling down.

I'm here because my other main source of poly support is a forum our fiance reads. I've established a profile name not known to either of them -- not because I want to hide things from them, but because I need a sounding board to bounce things off of and work through on my own, in my own time and space, before bringing things to her or him.

I'm looking forward to reading here.

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Old 12-31-2010, 03:26 AM
Rio Rio is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3

I'm 21, Canadian, and at the moment transient between different parts of Ontario. The city where I grew up and my parents still live at one end of the province, the place I'm studying at the other end, with family, friends and acquaintances strung in between.

I'm a full-time student for the next four months at least, and after that I'm not really sure where I'll be going or what I'll be doing.

I have been thinking about the practicalities of a number of different forms of poly for a few years now, including some initially mono relationships opened up at my request, which resulted in resounding failure for all involved.

To make a long story (which I'll likely elaborate on in another thread) short, I'm now a tentative secondary to a dude who has a girlfriend. So far it's working (mostly) and I almost feel like I'm looking for things to be wrong because it seems like it's working.

I have a motorcycle license, but no motorcycle, a driver's license, but no car, and possibly the worst case of the travel bug I've ever heard of.

I plan to die of exhaustion rather than boredom, and I love to talk about anything, everything, and whatever's in between, although philosophy and social theory are kinda my bag at the moment.

I'm (nearly) always up for a chat, and I'll likely be asking for directions on this little road trip of mine. After all, it would be boring if everything was already mapped out.
Can you get lost if you haven't decided where you're going?
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Old 12-31-2010, 02:05 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 833


What part of Ontario?
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
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Old 12-31-2010, 06:09 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I live in NYC, work in an arts-related field, am in the process of getting a divorce, and currently investigating polyamory. Don't know if it's right for me yet, but it seems okay so far! Just started a new relationship with a man who is fully supportive of my being poly. Have another person I am interested in, an ex-bf, with whom I recently rekindled a relationship after many years of no contact. It may or may not become sexual with him, depending on what he's ready for. If we remain close friends, I'd be happy, too. Also corresponding with a married poly guy on OKC, whom I will probably meet next month. So, I'm just starting out on this poly journey. My ideal situation would be to be independent and solo, with several boyfriends. I am finding I enjoy living alone now.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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Old 01-07-2011, 03:11 AM
monolicious monolicious is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 20
Default Who is Monolicious?

Hey there,
I'm monolicious.

I am a 42 year old monogamous woman in a wonderful 20 year marriage living in New Zealand. We also have two teenage children.

Two years ago, my husband came out as poly without having any infidelitious relationship. He just discovered the concept and knew it described who he was and how he wanted to live his life. At first, I honestly thought it was a passive way of beginning to prepare me for divorce.

But as we began to look into poly, I could see that it fit his outgoing, deeply relational, extroverted personality to a tee. We continued exploring what poly would mean together. We spent 18 months reading, processing, talking to poly folk and researching. There were times when I was utterly terrified. And other times when I was excited and enthused. One thing I was always sure of was that I loved my husband, that he loved me, and that we both wanted to remain together and fully who we have become.

At that point, we decided to include our children in the process, as they were old enough to sense that "big changes" were afoot, but we thought their guesses or imaginings about what that was would not include poly, but be much scarier than the truth.

My daughter struggled (and still struggles) much more than my son, but we have kept them in the loop and encourage then to share fears, thoughts, input and questions with us all along the way.

In July/August of 2010, my husband developed a relationship with another woman (also mono). We started as a V with me having very little contact with her except to navigate guidelines/expectations.

A couple months in, we experimented with a triad, but it quickly became apparent that I am primarily mono (and so is she) and poly doesn't work well between all of us. I pulled back and we resumed the V which is working very well now. Their relationship is probably beginning to wind down for other reasons (ie- she really wants a mono relationship with marriage and kids). Still, as our first foray into polyland it has been a good and educational experience.

My husband is very much enjoying a life where he can pursue every and any relationship that sparks his interest to its natural outcome.

I am growing in my understanding of my husband, poly, and my own monogamy. Yes, I am monogamous and my husband being poly doesn't negate that. I still get to choose how I do relationship. I do not consider myself "less evolved" for living a relational model that I excel at and has rewarded me throughout my life with good relationships. Nor do I consider poly less than monogamy. Each is a relational model with pros and cons, and each serves certain people better than the other.

I won't pretend it has or will be easy, but it certainly encourages personal and relational growth.
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