It is easier to...

[Jodi]

erin, i stayed in an unhappy marriage for 5 years too long. my children were miserable and made me feel very guilty. the only way i was able to leave was to have money to get my own place, which mean i had to save money. then i started looking at places to live. the ideaswere there for years, but eventually i began to actually make moves.

but, you really do have to plan it out, even in terms of what you will take.

have you thought about deal breakers in your marriage? what are they? financially, if you have a job and can make it, go for it. it takes so much more out of you to be in a relationship that you're not satisfied with or miserable. also, if your'e really not sure about leaving, tell yourself it's on a trial basis.

that's what separations are for, to see if it's best to remain separated or to work it out. good luck. i feel for you.

[Erin]

I have been reading your posts and thinking. Thank you.

I think we have grown apart and our best friend status isnt enough to keep me from wanting to stray. I was bi and poly before I met him. I gave all that up to start a family. Well, 10 yrs have gone by and still no kids. Intimacy is a chore for both of us since the fight. We are better friends. I am resentful he wont even listen to consider. I was unable to connect with him 2 nights ago. This saddens me. We get along fine, and thats the problem. He'd be fine in a sexless marriage, but I'll feel like my life is slipping by without the intensity that comes from new loves. I am currently saving money in case the inevitable happens. I can see him in my future, and even with kids, but only if he lets me live out / be more sexual. Right now this 'missionary' lifestyle isnt cutting it for me.

We'll see what happens as time passes. All I think about is dating new people already in my life. I flirt with cute men, and they flirt back, but that isnt enough. I want to... I need to... But I cant! Grr :O