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Old 12-09-2010, 02:48 PM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 117
Unhappy I really need support

I need support. I'm really upset right now, so I hope that I can get this across ok. So, I've been seeing FV for 6 months. We were waiting to have sex until DW was ok with it. We finally set a hotel date for mid-November and then I ended up with a yeast infection, but I suggested that we keep the hotel date just so that we could have private time to cuddle and talk more intimately. So, we did that. We did some kissing, which really needs work (not to sound arrogant, but I consider myself an awesome kisser) and cuddling. Looking back, something did seem off.

I wrote him an email to that fact a few days later, and he confirmed that yes, he was having issues with physical chemistry with me—that he finds me beautiful, attractive, etc., but the chemistry is not there. He said that this has happened several times before and he does not understand it. So, I was crushed. It's not that I wanted to tear the guy's clothes off, but to me, sex is an expression of the emotional connection that we both feel for one another (and yes he feels it). To him, they are separate. I have all kinds of theories as to what is going on, but no matter. It's been a huge blow, but I decided not to lose a wonderful person in my life and sucked up my pride and went on a date with him last night. He has been adamant all along that he definitely wants me in his life.

Well, the weekend after our “hotel date”, he had a weekend gathering with some poly folks including a new woman he is seeing (one other meet up and one date). He told me last night, at the very end of the night, no less, that he had sex with her that weekend. I'm terribly hurt. I know that I'm new to this poly stuff, but am I the only one who finds it disturbing that I was home sobbing and he was having sex with her? Does that seem really low to anyone else? And the thing is, he's so into etiquette and all. I mean, he got mildly upset with me that I hadn't mentioned a platonic coffee date that I had. And he thought it was ok to have sex with her?

I don't know what to do. I am so hurt.
Married for 14 years to an amazing man, "David Webb" on the forum
Discovered that I was poly in January 10,
forging my path together with the best partner I could ever ask for!
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