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  #21  
Old 08-24-2009, 01:29 PM
Quath Quath is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I have a question...how many people who identify as poly on here also identify as vegetarians, social activists and anti capitalists?
I would identify as an omnivore, social activist, and 75% capitalist / 25% socialist.
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  #22  
Old 08-24-2009, 03:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I have a question...how many people who identify as poly on here also identify as vegetarians, social activists and anti capitalists?
I'm not a vegitarian, but I do lean that direction and do sympathize with vegitarians -- and abhor the maltreatment of animals in "factory farming".

I am a social / political activist. --mainly in environment / ecology / sustainability.

I'm not "anti-capitalist," I'm anti-fascist and pro-democracy. When capitalism undermines democracy -- and it generally does -- it needs to be put in check by democracy. Rather than the other way around, vice versa. It's silly to be "anti-capitalist". One should instead proffer alternatives, be pro-alternatives to capitalism, if you find capitalism destructive (which I do). Much of my life has been devoted to finding viable and desirable alternatives to the capitalist industrial system.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I'm curious because my old social group of monogamous friends were neither of the above. I'm wondering if there is a trend or social stream that polyamory flows more freely through.
When we realize that polyamorists are rather bravely stepping rather far out of a core or central cultural expectation (monogamism, monogamy), and that doing so typically requires a lot of introspection and facility with changing one's own acquired internal furnishings, it shouldn't be surprising that polyamorists, on average, are people with a certain set of inter- and intra-personal skills and insights that lend themselves to social / political activism. Generally, I'd say, polyamorists are unlikely to be the sort of people who accept beliefs and notions uncritically, simply because of tradition or due to their upbringing, etc. We will tend to be innovative in our thinking as much as in our behavior.
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  #23  
Old 08-25-2009, 01:57 AM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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I'm an omnivore. I'm very open minded and accepting but not an activist. And I'm not anti capitalist.
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  #24  
Old 08-25-2009, 06:22 AM
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I have poly friends that are really good recyclers and that is it... Mono, you know them and yet you ask?
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  #25  
Old 08-25-2009, 06:24 AM
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I have poly friends that are really good recyclers and that is it... Mono, you know them and yet you ask?
I'm not convinced they are poly yet...they could just be enviro-swingers
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  #26  
Old 08-25-2009, 06:26 PM
AJbear77 AJbear77 is offline
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Default somebody's got issues

Whenever you read an article such as this with so much negative emotion against something, or disrespect, the writer has personal issues. I wish people could have enough self awareness to see that about themselves. Everybody and everything is merely a mirror reflecting back. I know this for sure. I am thankful for the moment I 'woke up' and stopped being numb, playing victim, blaming others...and realized the whole world as I view it has to do with ME and where I AM at. What is within is without. I will say on the surface it always seemed much easier to be ignorant to that fact, but even though it is painful to break through barriers within yourself, in the end it is much more rewarding.
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  #27  
Old 08-25-2009, 08:12 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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The author of that blog post would offer us that anything we do is completely modular--that anything can be switched out for anything else, because everything is simply the result of a decision.

So, if you have a hobby, it can be switched out for any other hobby and you would be just as interested and fulfilled because it's all just a decision. That you have an inclination for advanced math puzzles and no interest or ability in sports is immaterial--you can replace the time spent doing math puzzles with time spent playing rugby and get as much fulfillment. It's just a decision, remember.

There are some people who are truly monogamous and have only one mate for life, never considering anybody else as a potential partner. There are those who are serial monogamists who never consider anybody else while still involved in a pairing. There are serial monogamists who are always considering options while still involved in a pairing. There are poly folk who have a couple of relationships and never consider more. There are poly folk who have several relationships and are open to yet more. There are folk who never have any serious relationships and just bounce from one sexual dalliance to another. To suggest that the whole range of human behavior regarding relationships is due simply to choice and anybody displaying one of those forms of behavior would be just as comfortable displaying a different one is ludicrous, at best!
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  #28  
Old 08-25-2009, 08:54 PM
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Technical problems caused me to lose a longish post following SeventhCrow's here. So I'll make my response concise this try.

Who wants to provide an argument in favor of the belief or notion that any of us choose our desires?

Shouldn't people be free to choose to live life how they will within the constraints of their desires? -- So long as that choice harms none? or is otherwise ethically okay?

I don't know why or how our desires go as they go, and I'm a longtime student of philosophy and psychology. Some combination of nature and nurture -- or? Hardly a settled question.

I cannot choose to favor brussels sprouts (least favorite veggie) over asparagus (my favorite). I can choose to eat either one -- just barely -- if forced to do so for survival reasons.
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  #29  
Old 08-25-2009, 09:29 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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No - I don't think you can choose your desires... But you do choose your actions, for sure.

For example, I never would have thought about any of this just a year ago. When Ouroboros opened my eyes to it, I began some really hard thinking and began to realize that my desires include: honesty, genuineness, openness, caring, love, and the list goes on.

I realized long ago that I never wanted to control another person, and that attractions to others can rarely be stifled... however, how you act upon those can be. I wonder sometimes if my ex could have been honest... I do not know if he was capable, not in HIS nature, unfortunately. Maybe he was too afraid.

So, Although I am new to this philosophy, I am choosing to explore polyamory. I have to think about it frequently, and it is not because of my current relationship. My current relationship is simply providing me a path towards something that I would probably, at this point, be curious about and explore regardless. I don't think I could ever pick apart if it is Natural or not.

Maybe it is Natural for me to think openly and question society, or maybe it is my upbringing...(although liberal, also VERY monogamy-leaning and following of the catholic faith)

Like others on here, I have had similar feelings when watching star wars, etc, wondering why they can't all be together, and just blowing it off, thinking that was a ridiculous notion!

So, Although people may have a desire to be polyamorous, or the desire to act upon attractions, they do not have to act upon them...

Although, think about the argument about same-sex love. Just because you don't have a SO, doesn't mean you are hetero.

Now, following that logic, does simply thinking poly make you poly, or is it the action that does?
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  #30  
Old 08-25-2009, 09:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
Although, think about the argument about same-sex love. Just because you don't have a SO, doesn't mean you are hetero.

Now, following that logic, does simply thinking poly make you poly, or is it the action that does?
Tricky questions!

Are people who simply desire to love more than one person necessarily, thus, polyamorous? Not necesarily, depending. "Depending" because polyamory is more than simply an ability or desire to love more than one person simultaniously, as the term is used in common usage. It's also an ethos.

["Ethos, according to The Oxford English Dictionary, is defined as "the characteristic spirit, prevalent tone of sentiment, of a people or community; the 'genius' of an institution or system", ..." - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethos]

Polyamory is something defined by an emerging and evolving global polyamory community, or culture, or sub-culture--even a "movement". It is a cultural phenomenon and creation, and it will evolve just as such things do. And right now, honesty and openness along with actual loving (not just sex!) are crucial to this emerging and evolving ethos. So the poly culture/community has criteria as to who is a member of the species: polyamorous. Not all swingers are members of this species, though some may be.

... returning ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
Although, think about the argument about same-sex love. Just because you don't have a SO, doesn't mean you are hetero.

Now, following that logic, does simply thinking poly make you poly, or is it the action that does?
Gay/Queer folk are gay/queer whether or not they are involved with anyone romantically or sexually. Desire makes it so.

But this isn't quite so simply said about poly (multiple) amory (love/loving), because of the openness and honesty aspect of the ethos which is polyamory. I'm polyamorous even though I have only one love/lover/partner at this time, and this is so not only because I'm capable of loving more than one person at a time, but more crucially because I subscribe to the ethos of openness and honesty -- as does my partner. But there's more to it than that, still. The polyamorist ethos also includes, generally, the belief that not only can people have multiple loves unproblematically, but that a multiple loving style of loving can enhance the love we have within our original bonded relationships! This fact -- and it is a fact -- is in myriad ways astonishing and unsettling to the popular culture of "romantic love". Imagine: We may be even a little MORE romantic at times than the monos!
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Last edited by River; 08-25-2009 at 09:59 PM.
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