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  #21  
Old 11-28-2010, 12:45 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Originally Posted by Athena View Post
I could see a universe in which, if casual sex never had serious consequences, at a certain stage of my life, I would have been much more open to experimentation (that is, no worries about disease, unwanted pregnancy, picking up gross stalker people, ruining chances at serious relationships or work opportunities etc.)
However, there is no action without a consequence, and I am very picky about who is in my life, so I have never really been about casual sex. But could I see it being perfectly fun in a world with vastly different attitudes, likely yes. I couldn't definitively say without being there.
If there were no consequences to our sexual actions...I would have been such a slut...wait.....Nevermind. LOL
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  #22  
Old 11-29-2010, 03:11 PM
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All very interesting points.

What irritates me, is that MOST (not all, but most) of the women I have dealt with, are sincere about their feelings, while MOST (not all) men that my wife and I have dealt with, have had one thing in mind....getting laid. They could care less about the relationship as long as they get laid. Then once they get the punnany, they are gone like a fart in the wind. Whereas the women we have dealt with, have tried to stick around for some time.
I am dealing with this now. Every man I have met in the last few months, yes, every single one (around 8) have only wanted sex from me. They see "poly" and think A: I'm really just cheating on my bf and i'll screw them asap or B: I'm only poly because I can't get enough sex.

This drives me crazy.

I wonder if the fact that I am already attached to my bf makes the other men think that I am only good for one thing when it comes to them, and that's sex. They seem to think that it is not possible to have a normal relationship with more than one person at a time. Be it sexual or just good friends.

The double standard rule has also gotten in my way recently. My bf is still uncomfortable with me dating other men but he doesn't see it that way. He thinks that I just make bad choices because the few men I am attracted to are nothing like him. In his head that means they don't (shouldn't) exist in my life.
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  #23  
Old 11-29-2010, 03:14 PM
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Hope that complicated things lol
cute ha!
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  #24  
Old 11-29-2010, 04:05 PM
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I'll take a bit of a dissenting view. I agree that it's not black and white, and that some people are disingenuous .

But I would offer, that as a male who supports the poly practices and is committed to them .... most guys don't have the level of emotional depth women expect them to have. I have seen many of my friends...poly and not....constantly get into relationship issues because the just don't "get it". Again, not all of us...but enough to make the mix even more complex.
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  #25  
Old 11-30-2010, 01:05 AM
OneUncagedBird OneUncagedBird is offline
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I find this whole discussion very interesting. What I wonder is why we seem to think that just because we apply the label poly that the rules change? The majority of people, men and women, cannot be blindly trusted. If the majority of men you run across as a mono are pigs, why wouldn't it be true with poly? I see it like I see all relationships, slow and natural and steady is the way relationships should progress. Anything other is disingenuous and won't last. We always have to protect ourselves first and foremost from being taken advantage of. Unfortunately this is the way of the world.
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  #26  
Old 11-30-2010, 07:57 PM
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Geez, when I first started on dating sites I had to explain what poly is... now one has to explain what it isn't?!
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  #27  
Old 12-03-2010, 07:55 AM
DaylightStirring DaylightStirring is offline
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I'm sensing a thread here...it keeps popping into my mind. I've noticed a this trend while browsing the forum, it shows up specifically with our polyboys who share their SO with other guys, they all seem to hate the image of SO and another guy being intimate. I hear the same complaint from my DH (we are still completely mono) when the topic of other guys come up. He has had to share me with countless other guys by way of my career. I am a stripper and I develop intimate relationships with repeat customers - minus the sex. He seems to handle it well. But the idea of sexual intercourse with another guy turns his bowels. I've seen this behavior multiple times with mono couples too, where it's not appropriate for the girl to discuss her old sexual conquests (e.i. ex-boyfriends) My best gf and I had a deep discussion about how random conversations of the many past partners she has had immediately culminates into an aggressive argument with her boyfriend. It's like he just can't handle the idea that she has had sex with someone besides him.

In defense of my earlier comment and to argue it further: I say unconditional love doesn't end when the romance does.
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I don't believe in unconditional love. I believe in unconditional concern for people, but not romantic love. That tie can be severed.
To say romantic love and unconditional love are not compatible is to say oil and water don't mix. One can always exist with out the other; and at times they can even be found to exist together, unbound.
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  #28  
Old 12-03-2010, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaylightStirring View Post
is to say oil and water don't mix. .
they don't
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  #29  
Old 12-03-2010, 04:05 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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they don't
They do if an emulsifier is present
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  #30  
Old 12-03-2010, 04:22 PM
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Olive oil, balsamic vinegar and Frenches mustard makes *derby dressing*. At least that is what we call it at our house.
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