I have a question, to new and old alike. What I don't understand is the need to make someone a husband or a wife and then have a gf or bf or a tertiary or whatever the other levels are. I understand the multiple relationships, the need to love and be loved by more than just one, I just don't understand the getting married part. No judgement on my part, just querying as to why people choose to set up the tiers and have all the labels. I am trying to understand the choices that so many people on this forum have made. I guess, I just feel like if you are going to marry, then it should be monogamous. But if you aren't going to be with just one person, then don't marry. Perhaps I am just new and naive, but I would love to have other perspectives, please.