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  #11  
Old 11-24-2010, 11:14 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
ya, she said it better than I did...

...and THAT was the "sugar-coated" version.
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  #12  
Old 11-24-2010, 11:17 PM
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
...and THAT was the "sugar-coated" version.
I saw red when I read the post - I don't usually respond as I don't like to impose my own thoughts on others - but that.... *lots of swear words and angry noises*
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  #13  
Old 11-24-2010, 11:21 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by FlameKat View Post
I saw red when I read the post - I don't usually respond as I don't like to impose my own thoughts on others - but that.... *lots of swear words and angry noises*

My brain is rejecting it. I read the words but my mind is refusing to ingest the meaning of it all.
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  #14  
Old 11-24-2010, 11:33 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Thx for your insights. I just met his SO (I was told his wife but they're not married), and she really freaked me out - doh! My wife told me last night that she was just having fun (f**k buddy) and I immediately felt better, but according to his SO he is 'serious' about my wife. Also they have multiple STDs (not life threatening) and his goal is to have my wife bare - doh. I'm fixed but he is not and he has children with three women. His SO said 'they' are considering (my wife and him) she get an IUD for this so it wouldn't be long until I have multiple STDs - doh. I had surgery and pain for 6 months just to avoid IUD or her hormones because that is so important to me to have no interference down there. I think this poly thing is good for you who are poly and willing to compromise your deepest desires for the sake of multiple partners. For me this is turning out I make all the compromises and will get STDs (I'm STD free only 1 partner in life so far) if I want to stay with my wife.

OK I guess you call that venting I think I'm in trouble.
This whole post is almost too much to comprehend. How can any mature, mentally and emotionally balanced person engage in a sexual relationship of this nature knowingly exposing themselves and their husband to this type of risk? Your wife needs a serious talk and read about the affects of NRE because she is drowning in it.
Time to stand up and be heard my friend..you've got two feet, put one down...
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  #15  
Old 11-25-2010, 02:57 AM
oikord oikord is offline
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Hello, it did feel good to vent. Everything I said was truthful. I was hoping to leave personal details out but I couldn't. I guess my wife is thinking there are less severe STDs. In this case it is G. Herpes and HPV. We have O. Herpes (who doesn't?) and its really low statistic to have both, abd says 80% of women have HPV. We are both clean of these right now and it would feel horrible if/when we got these. There seems to be a plumbing problem when they use a condom (oh darn!) and they were seeking a solution. She is agreeing to stick with condom for now and I've promised to stay with her. I was feeling anguish before and you must have picked up on that. Wish me luck.
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  #16  
Old 11-25-2010, 03:15 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by oikord View Post
Hello, it did feel good to vent. Everything I said was truthful. I was hoping to leave personal details out but I couldn't. I guess my wife is thinking there are less severe STDs. In this case it is G. Herpes and HPV. We have O. Herpes (who doesn't?) and its really low statistic to have both, abd says 80% of women have HPV. We are both clean of these right now and it would feel horrible if/when we got these. There seems to be a plumbing problem when they use a condom (oh darn!) and they were seeking a solution. She is agreeing to stick with condom for now and I've promised to stay with her. I was feeling anguish before and you must have picked up on that. Wish me luck.
No offence but you are still playing with odds. Totally your choice of course, but it is your right to avoid infection

Plumbing problem with a condom? Never an excuse.
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  #17  
Old 11-25-2010, 04:04 AM
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Now that I can think straight
So herpes you can work around to minimize the risk, lots of people have healthy active sex lives and never seem to infect other people.....because they are careful and don't ignore common sense when they are at risk. G can be cured, so patience is key. I don't know much about HPV. All that being said, this couple seems very at risk for even worse infections...the kind that kill. Your wife has got to see reason in your concerns. You have children right? How will they feel if their mommy and or daddy get AIDS?
If she goes ahead with this perhaps you should insist on having completely safe sex with her or even better...find yourself a low risk girlfriend and get those needs met elsewhere while she enjoys this couple.
Take care and be safe
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  #18  
Old 11-25-2010, 04:32 AM
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polychronopolous polychronopolous is offline
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OMFG! Why Knowingly expose yourselves to this? Numbers? Statistics? It will stay with you for life and, if you are responsibe, you will have to disclose this to EVERY potential partner(s) for the remainder of your lives. I would advise STRONGLY against this IMHO.
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  #19  
Old 11-25-2010, 05:45 AM
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Just the words coming out of someones mouth "STD" makes my pussy shut right down until I know for sure that I am completely safe.

I am really surprised that your partner is at all interested... not because of the STD's but because of the attitude! Blowing it off like it's nothing. Saying that they want to go bare... of all the gaul...! BAH! I'd be gone...

Some guys use it as a mark that they have slept with someone, but they usually don't tell the woman first. What on earth does she see in them?
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  #20  
Old 11-25-2010, 08:45 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oikord View Post
Thx for your insights. I just met his SO (I was told his wife but they're not married), and she really freaked me out - doh! My wife told me last night that she was just having fun (f**k buddy) and I immediately felt better, but according to his SO he is 'serious' about my wife. Also they have multiple STDs (not life threatening) and his goal is to have my wife bare - doh. I'm fixed but he is not and he has children with three women. His SO said 'they' are considering (my wife and him) she get an IUD for this so it wouldn't be long until I have multiple STDs - doh. I had surgery and pain for 6 months just to avoid IUD or her hormones because that is so important to me to have no interference down there. I think this poly thing is good for you who are poly and willing to compromise your deepest desires for the sake of multiple partners. For me this is turning out I make all the compromises and will get STDs (I'm STD free only 1 partner in life so far) if I want to stay with my wife.

OK I guess you call that venting I think I'm in trouble.
I don't think I could handle those terms-at all.

I'm the poly one in my dynamic.
GG (boyfriend) is mono for SURE.
Maca (husband) is on the fence for now.

BUT-all of those risks? Not reasonable, not reasonable AT ALL.

I read your FIRST post and thought immediately to tell you, go get the book "The Seven Levels of Intimacy".
It's NOT a poly book.
It's the BEST self-help book I've EVER read. I read ALL the time. I read fast and I've been through hundreds of books. That book kicks ass.

My husband is reading it right now and talking about reading it a second time when he finishes-and he NEVER reads. He (like you said) has put off reading ANYTHING (self help or entertainment) that I've suggested for so long.
We've been married 12 years, known each other 20+ years. I told him last September I was poly and couldn't pretend to be a mono wife any more.

Our world has been a hailstorm of emotions since.

You can check out my blog (listed below in my signature) for some details.
You can also check out his login and mine-and see our various posts in order to get a picture.

You can also PM Maca-he's much in your shoes-but I can guarantee, risks of pregnancy and std's would be a NO GO in our situation.
We have 4 kids and my Godson-and there's NO WAY we're having more.
Boyfriend got a vasectomy as well (husband had one already) because we aren't going that road.

I fucked a LOT of things up in my marriage trying to be something I wasn't (mono).
But, in coming out poly-I've gotten a clear cut picture of how to TRULY respect my husband-and I guarantee you there is NO RESPECT if someone is willing to take such risks.

Babies are people-they deserve solid, functional and reliable families-doesn't need to be a 2 parent family per se (ours is a 4 parent family) but it does need to be stable; a new relationship like you describe-isn't stable.

And NO ONE should risk spreading STD's. I have herpes-I would NEVER consider taking a lover without knowing for certain that they already had it-or they were a FOREVER lover.

Maca and GG don't have it-17 years with GG, 12 (going on 13) with Maca and they still test negative-BUT-I take a FUCK load of precautions and they are forever. Both were told upfront and we've always been careful.

If someone isn't willing to be that careful and that RESPECTFUL of the person they want to have sex with-they don't need to be having sex.

(ok, that was my not very humble two cents-sorry)....
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