#21
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Redpepper:
::wow:: I'm very happy to read your thoughts too. This is turning into a sleepless night before work tomorrow. Going to the other man would resemble being rescued - I bet thats why he wont respond to me. I will begin the preparation process so its easier later. That dinner thing actually happened tonight. He even said as we went to bed, "You know, I've been pretty nice to you all day." And like usual, I said nothing in response because I didnt want to argue. How the hell have I been so blind?? I feel stupid, but now I'm wising up. I'm pretty surprised and upset I didnt stop this crap sooner. Well I can only work on my future. This has been one hell of a weekend!! |
#22
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Well, maybe if you change up the game he will take notice and either start smartening up because he will realize he will lose you, or you will see him for who he really is and realize you are better off without him.
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#23
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I already know it'll be the latter of the two because changing the game only gets us into fights. It's okay. I'm coming to terms with it. He has many good qualities, but we've grown apart and do not share the same bonds to keep it going any more. It will be very painful as I do love him and I know he loves me. We just cant make each other happy anymore.
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#24
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Yes that is weird that a grown man never ask for sex. I'm willing to bet you that he his cheating. You see when he called you over weight he was just trying to justify to himself a good reason for sleeping with someone else. Secondly unless he is masturbating everyday then he has to be. As far as knowing you should look for the small things. Like if he goes on a side job does he come home dirty. Construction is a dirty job so his close would have to show signs. Secondly if you know he his on the computer go into the room he in and if he immediate clicks off the page then he definitely doing something wrong. Also there is software you can put on your computer that will save every, website page, email, instant messaging, documents access and everything else you can get of the computer. Its a key logger software called Web Watcher. Its sells for 97.00 online. This is just a suggestion if you really want to know. Also if he has a cell phone and has it password protected then that may be a sign as well. Quote:
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Stop it, this man is also controlling, and he may not deserved someone as nice and pleasant as yourself. Please stop pursuing him and work on getting out if that what you really want. Red Pepper had a good ideal about making a list of things you need and have. Save your money and get out. If you come up with a plan and put one foot in front of the other you will soon be walking out the door. Focus on leaving and once you are out then turn your interest toward finding someone who accepts you for you and how you feel both mentally and sexually. Kelvin |
#25
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Hi Kelvin, I am still so thankful you are still responding! Nice to hear a man's perspective. Please say thanks to your wife for helping me, too.
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His behaviors on side jobs vary. He wears his junky work clothes/ drives the junky work truck on all-day, dirty jobs. He wears normal clothes/ drives his own truck on quotes and short jobs. He doesn't always come home with cash/check to count because he oftentimes has quotes / unfinished jobs to return to. I used to think he was cheating all the time as it is impossible to know every single location where he goes. He gets referral phone calls all the time, so I know he does work. I see the money, too. Still, I had no proof he was unfaithful, so I eventually accepted his behaviors as genuine. I don't know what to think now, though. And I won't put any software on his computer because I'm sure it's just porn. That doesn't bug me - I probably watch more than him anyway! LOL Quote:
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You're right, so I've decided to seek a counselor who specializes in marriage / sex counseling. I need to fix me before I can move from this situation. I'll invite my husband to attend later sessions if he is interested. But for now, I'm doing this for ME! I am forever grateful to have discovered this forum!! |
#26
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Sounds like the beginning of a plan. Good for you, Erin!
I'll bet you'll be happy and healthy and whole before you know it! |
#27
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I'm exhausted. I've asked for two things for Christmas: a newly refurbished laptop (because recycling is good for us), and marriage counseling. I wonder which one I'll get.
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#28
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Erin
We are here for. Remember the race isn't given to the fastest or swift but to the ones that endure the longest. You have already won, in ten years of marriage you managed to get your degree. What is your degree in btw? Where as he doesn't have a degree. So he may be a little envious of you. So keep your head up and stay strong. You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Kelvin |
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Tags |
chicago, confused, marriage, wife |
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