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Old 11-20-2010, 10:45 AM
kbc02 kbc02 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1
Default The plunge?

Really new to polyamory. Honestly, I don't even know if this is the right thing for me but I realize monogamy will never work for me. I feel like monogamy is based on this idea of hoarding and possessiveness and competition. Qualities I know I still possess but would like to grow past. I see that the less I hold onto, the more open and generous I am, the happier I am.

In a way I've always wanted to have my cake and eat it too. The idea of having several relationships with guys while they only dated me has long been appealing to me. I know. Kinda pathetic. So I tried to change my ways and so I started priming myself for monogamy. Saying to myself: I'm serious now, just want to find "the one". But at its core the investing emotionally only in one person and demanding the same from them seems like hoarding - it seems restrictive. And I think what I consider beautiful are openness and freedom.

Do I want something lasting? I think maybe I do? I guess I'm going to say this is a bit of an experiment to see if it works for me, to see another way things can be.

I do not want to have a harem of men. I do not want to be part of a harem of women for a man. I want something very open. I'm on a journey and I think this journey is to a place of freedom and love.
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Old 11-20-2010, 02:08 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central NJ
Posts: 241

Just curious. Are you still looking for many men to only be dating you?

Live life to the fullest 'cause you never know if you're gonna wake up tomorrow!
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Old 11-20-2010, 07:26 PM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 806

Sounds good that you're realising openness. Restricting your partners whilst having your own freedom is never a good idea. Though that doesn't mean you can't find a group of men that would be happy being with you and nobody else, but it's just very unlikely.
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Old 11-20-2010, 07:32 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

I'm sure you'll fine advantages to having other women keep your men busy so you don't have to take care of all of them at all times
Plus, metamour relationships can be very strong and unique (provided you don't end up with a metamour you hate, of course).
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
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Old 11-21-2010, 04:24 AM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 287

Yea...this is a good place to sort yourself out. Welcome to the forum. I look forward to watching your journey.
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