Intimate vs. Friendship

[SNeacail]

Originally Posted by Somegeezer

I think I see them as friends that are closer than friends. Even closer than a best friend. I really love them hugely and just wouldn't know how to ease it in slowly for someone who was strongly monogamous. I suppose you adapt to other peoples' views? But just saying they are friends. Although not lying, it would not feel right to make Mono feel like they were just like any other friend to me.

Don't ease into it slowly. Introduce and treat them as who and what they are to you. "Here are my best friends, whom I love dearly..." or such. Make the introductions early on and alway be upfront about it with any potential partner. You should find out fairly quickly who is ok with it and who isn't.

[Somegeezer]

Originally Posted by SNeacail

Don't ease into it slowly. Introduce and treat them as who and what they are to you. "Here are my best friends, whom I love dearly..." or such. Make the introductions early on and alway be upfront about it with any potential partner. You should find out fairly quickly who is ok with it and who isn't.

Sort of like... If they aren't ok with it, move on and find people who are? I suppose the earlier on you tell people about it, the easier it would be to still have a friendship out of it if the intimacy can't be there.

[Ariakas]

Originally Posted by Somegeezer

Sort of like... If they aren't ok with it, move on and find people who are? I suppose the earlier on you tell people about it, the easier it would be to still have a friendship out of it if the intimacy can't be there.

I have friends I am intimate with. One ex lover and one who is along time friend. Intimacy is a funny thing, its very personal. If you feel the need to be intimate, try it. You might find they don't want to touch friends, you might find they do.

The only way to find out is to try. Friends though might take years to get that comfortable without them feeling sexual pressure. As much as some of us can clearly discern the minute differences, some people seeing intimacy and sex as hand in hand.

If you are looking for a friend to be intimate with but not have as a lover, and still stay a friend. Thats a mighty fine line you are looking for.

I do find, being calculated about it, likely won't work. Just let it happen naturally. But thats my take

[Somegeezer]

Originally Posted by Ariakas

I have friends I am intimate with. One ex lover and one who is along time friend. Intimacy is a funny thing, its very personal. If you feel the need to be intimate, try it. You might find they don't want to touch friends, you might find they do.

The only way to find out is to try. Friends though might take years to get that comfortable without them feeling sexual pressure. As much as some of us can clearly discern the minute differences, some people seeing intimacy and sex as hand in hand.

If you are looking for a friend to be intimate with but not have as a lover, and still stay a friend. Thats a mighty fine line you are looking for.

I do find, being calculated about it, likely won't work. Just let it happen naturally. But thats my take

These 2 girls, I am already very close and intimate with. But it's not like any relationship I've had before. It's like friendship, but more. I have many friends I talk with and hang out with, but these 2, I just feel very close with. I love them and love that they are in my life. They are people I would love to have in my life forever. If sex ever did get put on the table, that isn't to say I wouldn't take up that chance, but it isn't what I'm looking for directly. But if I were to be in a sexual relationship with another person or people, I would certainly want them to understand that these 2 girls are certainly a huge part of my life.

[Ariakas]

Originally Posted by Somegeezer

These 2 girls, I am already very close and intimate with. But it's not like any relationship I've had before. It's like friendship, but more. I have many friends I talk with and hang out with, but these 2, I just feel very close with. I love them and love that they are in my life. They are people I would love to have in my life forever. If sex ever did get put on the table, that isn't to say I wouldn't take up that chance, but it isn't what I'm looking for directly. But if I were to be in a sexual relationship with another person or people, I would certainly want them to understand that these 2 girls are certainly a huge part of my life.

Friendship encompasses a range of people. Why does their absolute closeness to you preclude them from still being friends?

[SNeacail]

Originally Posted by Ariakas

Friendship encompasses a range of people. Why does their absolute closeness to you preclude them from still being friends?

I think he is worried about any future lovers not accepting these 2 women in his life.

[Somegeezer]

Originally Posted by Ariakas

Friendship encompasses a range of people. Why does their absolute closeness to you preclude them from still being friends?

It's just not the same to me. I know everyone has their different views on this sort of thing. This is just my way of viewing it. Some people might not feel right with them being such close people to me. I feel if I explain it to potential partners, there's nothing more I can do if they still can't understand.

[Somegeezer]

Originally Posted by SNeacail

I think he is worried about any future lovers not accepting these 2 women in his life.

+1 Said much simpler than I could. =P

[Ariakas]

Originally Posted by SNeacail

I think he is worried about any future lovers not accepting these 2 women in his life.

ohhhh thats where I was confused. I was wondering what the problem was

YEs, if someone can't accept these two women, then they will have to move on. They are an important part of your life.

[Somegeezer]

Originally Posted by Ariakas

ohhhh thats where I was confused. I was wondering what the problem was

YEs, if someone can't accept these two women, then they will have to move on. They are an important part of your life.

Thanks. Sorry for confusing you, but that's the kind of answer I was looking for. =] I think I've got all the answers I need and so I thank you all for giving me your advice. =]