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  #21  
Old 11-17-2010, 11:36 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Ha! I love the play by play! its awesome!

I had a lover a few years ago that had the same issue. He and I decided to build a relationship first and low and behold! No connection, no hard cock. I'm talking connection like what comes with knowing someone for longer than a few days. The kind that builds from experiencing each other; figuring out what makes someone tick. Not, this chic is hot and talks how I like.

In my experience, the relationships I have had that have been sexual too early have also ended early. No problem with that, but if you are looking for something long term it might be something to consider. Slow down maybe, get to know each other, let the horniness build. That can be really fun! Set a date a month from now to try again or something; that and add lots of dates in between of a non-sexual nature. I sometimes think a little holding back is a good idea, often other partners with boundary issues can help that as they quite often object to rushed sex, but in this case your partner doesn't seem to mind. Too bad, that could of been helpful.
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  #22  
Old 11-17-2010, 11:39 PM
Passport Passport is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Slow down maybe, get to know each other, let the horniness build. That can be really fun! Set a date a month from now to try again or something; that and add lots of dates in between of a non-sexual nature. I sometimes think a little holding back is a good idea
What she said... and to paraphrase - maybe it was just too soon?

Saturday to today = 4 days. Not a very long time at all.
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  #23  
Old 11-17-2010, 11:43 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Try having her perform felatio on you first.....Until completion. Then, you perform cuninglingus on her until completion....THEN try to have sex.
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  #24  
Old 11-18-2010, 12:00 AM
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TheBlackSwede TheBlackSwede is offline
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I had no trouble during fellatio, attained full erection, and maintained it. (Sheesh, it's weird to talk about this in such a clinical fashion) After she left, I masturbated for ten minutes or so without much trouble, just I knew my boys were workin'.

Regarding the "maybe it's too soon" comments, when I met my wife, we had such an explosive connection that we made love less than 24 hours after we met. We still have such an explosive connection that I'll go from zero to sprung after less than 10 seconds of kissing her. I could be very very spoiled by this, because she's gorgeous, and incredibly sexy and sexual. She's also got an amazing sex drive - we typically have sex between 3 and 12 times a week, depending on all other factors. I'm also not exactly looking for a long-term relationship. A FWB is a better description of how I view an ideal lover, and the closeness of that friendship is entirely dependent on the individual.

Interesting idea to try oral until completion - next time, if there is a next time.
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  #25  
Old 11-18-2010, 12:11 AM
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The reason I say until completion, is this....If you blow during oral, and then spend 1/2 hr performing oral on her (or more depending), then you will have the recovery time taken care of, and you will DEFINATLY be in the mood....plus, she will know that you CAN keep an erection to completion. Well, at least her mouth and throat will know.
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  #26  
Old 11-18-2010, 12:12 AM
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Okay, so maybe you are comparing her to your wife. I met and had sex with Mono within a week but with Derby it took a month (?), with my husband a few weeks. I don't think comparing is going to get to the root of it. With some its instant, with others it takes time.

Really, I think you are creating a mountain out of a mole hill at this point. Why put it on yourself. So you aren't a big stud with her, so what, I'm sure she is having fun regardless, she came back no?
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  #27  
Old 11-18-2010, 01:01 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SvartSvensk View Post
If I'm honest, this is seriously bumming me out. I actually feel a little emasculated, by my own man bits.

Maybe it's just not the right woman?
Honestly, it sounds like you are putting a tonne of pressure on yourself. It happens. You are in a mind fuck of a situation for your first time. Your wife is giving you permission without her to have sex with someone else.

Then you have one bad episode and beat yourself up

you are young and unless you have any previous medical conditions you are likely suffering from a bit of anxiety about it. Don't overthink it, your penis will work if you simply let it. You penis will appreciate the lack of thought.

Not the right woman, on sooo many levels, is soooo the wrong way to look at it.
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  #28  
Old 11-18-2010, 01:44 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
You penis will appreciate the lack of thought.
^^^ good point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Not the right woman, on sooo many levels, is soooo the wrong way to look at it.
... ^^Agreed.

Just because you might be use to slamming one home, in record time with other women, each coupling has a different chemistry.

Maybe your body wants to slow down and enjoy this woman. Drink her all in like a fine wine, instead washing her down like a quick beer.
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  #29  
Old 11-18-2010, 03:33 AM
MyNameIsMaam MyNameIsMaam is offline
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Don't be too quick to diss the meds that can help.

It's not really a "given" that all men work all the time. Other meds, medical conditions, and age all are factors in performance. And, those changes start slowly and build over time. It's not like you wake up one morning and need meds to help with ED all the time.

I would mention it to your doctor next time you have a physical. He might have more insight than what you will find online in a forum like this.
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  #30  
Old 11-18-2010, 03:51 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Yes maybe mention it to the doctor, but he is 30. Unless he has an existing condition I would not recommend ever considering drugs at that point. If you start needing them now then you could run into problems later. Maybe its just me but never treat the symptom with drugs especially when it could just be pressure. Understand it happens to other men, accept it and work with it.

I think everytime I have been in a "new" situation I have been chellenged (threesome, new girl, foursome etc). Once my brain got settled, I doubt any of my past or current lovers would think there is a problem. Unless you are showing problems consistenly (aka with wifey) then accept it for what it probably is and get comfortable.

Who knows, maybe I am the odd man out here...haha
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