Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 11-17-2010, 11:51 AM
nto nto is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 10
Default my jealousy is related to males

I have no idea why. Women, I can be happy for her, I miss her when she's gone, but I'm not upset. After about 4 years of polyamory, she's started developing a stronger interest in men. And I'm not doing well.

Every time she even did something dating like towards a guy, trying to set up a date, texting a lot, or what have you, and I realize that she's interested in him (usually because she says so) I am immediately hostile to him. This includes a guy I was pretty cool with, I just wanted to hurt him, either physically or verbally. Not being out of my mind, and knowing it's not reasonable, I didn't. And the second it didn't work out, and he decided not to (without being aware of my feelings) the anger was gone.

I have no idea why. I'm not afraid of her leaving, but when she went out on a date, I drank. It helped, but not something I can keep up.

So what do I do? I guess the best phrase I can think of is that when it's a woman, it doesn't feel like cheating. I never said I was ok with guys, she just wasn't interested until about 4 years in. As she says, her needs have changed, and my feelings very much have not.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 09:44 PM.