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Old 11-15-2010, 06:20 PM
glowinthedarkstars glowinthedarkstars is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Somewhere under the rainbow
Posts: 156
Default Id like some insta-compersion please!

I dont think compersion is something I feel with frequency what soever. Maybe I feel it in hindsight or for fleeting moments when my bf is with another woman who makes him happy.

My boyfriend says he feels compersion for me and my girlfriend . He would also like me to have mutual compersion type feelings for the relationship he wants to build between himself and my gf. I simply cannot have feelings that do not exist (or rather, they exist in fleeting moments...and I think more "I am so lucky to have two people who I care about in the same bed with me" not exactly (much to my dismay) "I want my lovers to be sexual with one another".

I think those feelings may evolve over time. Yes I have known P for over a year but my gf, N I have only been with for a month. As much as id like some insta-compersion, I think I might have to wait, to become more secure in my relationships, more trusting and less fearful. Is this an appropriate way of looking at things?

or is it possible that if I dont feel compersion for my bf now, that I never will? Part of the reason I find it hard to access this compersion factor is probably because I feel afraid and threatened that my lovers will evolve in a way that will not include me. I dont rationally think this is the case but its a little annoying bug inside me that will not let up.
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Last edited by glowinthedarkstars; 11-15-2010 at 06:23 PM.
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Tags
communication, compersion, coping strategies, date, envy, first timers, jealousy, non attachment, relationships, society, struggles, sympathetic joy

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