Originally Posted by dragonflysky
Thanks for your feedback Wayne. He does have medication he can take for the ADHD, but he doesn't take it on a regular basis.....just when he's feeling extra stressed. He also doesn't eat or sleep well and is in a fairly high pressure job. (Of course I could say the same for myself when it comes to that!) He also had a closed head injury about 3 years ago from a motorcycle accident, so that may contribute. I guess my biggest concern is that I don't think he really sees some of this as a "problem". I think he sees it as "that's just how I am." So, it may well be left to me to decide if "how he is" is something I want to try and deal with on an ongoing basis, especially when I'm struggling with whether or not poly really is for me.
Some of it is "how he is"... for me, at least, medication doesn't turn me into a normal person, it just makes me a more capable odd person. Some people are happy living with that sort of thing, others not. (Thank God my sweetie is in the former category!)
But ADHD medicine is not for when you're "extra stressed"... it's for when you want to function better in all areas of your life, which for me at least is all the time. Given my experience, I'd definitely have a hard time forgiving lapses committed while he has medicine he hasn't taking, but would have a much easier time forgiving lapses that occur in spite of his best efforts and taking his meds.