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  #11  
Old 11-06-2010, 10:30 AM
unusuality unusuality is offline
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...And allows you to co-habitate peacefully, NOT be secretive to be yourself, and most likely DOES NOT require medication bka "counseling".
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  #12  
Old 11-06-2010, 01:21 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Definitely this.
I don't care as much about NRE. I want that comfortable "hominess" that comes from knowing you are accepted completely MUCH more.



This too. I don't need material objects. I much prefer to have the meaningful knowledge that the feeling is mutual.



DEFINITELY this.

All WONDEFUL answers.

I aim towards sustainability and long-term relationships. With a great deal of success actually.
But one of the keys is that I don't aim for any of my relationships to meet a specified dynamic criteria.
Such as "this is my boyfriend"-maybe for a time, maybe forever, maybe never. Whatever.

GG is my friend. He is also NOW my boyfriend. He may at some point not be my boyfriend anymore. But he will ALWAYS be my friend.

Once a friend always a friend. How much further intimate we get can ebb and flow-but once a friend, always a friend is pretty much how my life works out...
OK, the multi quote isn't working .

Any way....Hominess!!! Yes, that's what I need. I need to feel as though we've known each other forever! When I go to hang out at Possibility's house I KNOW I can still retreat into myself, no matter how many people are there or what's going on, & they'll let me do so. They understand that need to retreat & regroup very well. Here at home, not so much, I just can't retreat with my kids around.

I don't need the material stuff either. I need the touches, the quiet together moments, the KNOWLEDGE that they are there when I need people around without the demands of having to be there mentally.

There is so much else in these replies that resonate with me that this post would become way too long if I were to get into them, lol.
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  #13  
Old 11-07-2010, 07:11 PM
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I find it so interesting that hardly anyone has mentioned time limit. I am guessing that length of time is not important, but that quality (whatever that means for you) is?
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  #14  
Old 11-07-2010, 09:12 PM
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hello Redpepper.....I've lived in two triads and for me time limits was something we decided between what the other two needed. One of us didn't need as much time as the other and that helped. You have to create what works for everyone in the family. All of these things like in good monogamous relationships has to be developed with the others in the family over time. In my opinion if a poly relationship is developed with sex first you've got trouble and won't last long. poly relationships she take in every aspect of a relationship. As the saying goes once the sex is over you should be able to talk and do other things.

Silver

Last edited by Silver; 11-07-2010 at 09:15 PM.
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  #15  
Old 11-09-2010, 11:30 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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A good relationship is subjective to the individual relationship you are in. My dynamic intermixes differently with different people. I guess the base of it for me is

Attempted good communication
Love
Intimacy
A future

Everything else ebbs and flows. If any of the above disapear, I can begin to question the relationship I am building. It doesn't mean I walk away but its time to start evaluating
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  #16  
Old 11-10-2010, 01:49 PM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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i think a good relationship is one in which you want to spend time w/ the other person.

my therapist asked me once if i could go on a great vacation, would i want to go w/ my ex. i didn't. wasn't a good relationship.

also, i really believe that a good relationship is one in which partners respect eachother. without respect, there is not much. lust fades over time.

good question, simple but v imp't.
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  #17  
Old 11-10-2010, 04:59 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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A "good" relationship to me is one that is based on honesty and trust. After 12 years of being with my wife there is NOTHING that we keep from each other. Her best friend came up a couple of weeks ago and when they were alone asked my wife if there was anything she needed to complain about in regards to me. My wife shook her head and said, nope. "Anything I need to bitch about, I bitch at him about." I wouldn't have it any other way.

The same rules apply to our relationship with our wife. We know each others dirty lil secrets and trust each other implicitly. Three years later all is well and I can't imagine life any other way.
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  #18  
Old 11-10-2010, 05:01 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I find it so interesting that hardly anyone has mentioned time limit. I am guessing that length of time is not important, but that quality (whatever that means for you) is?
I'm not sure that length is important. I can think of people who have been in bad relationships for years, and then I had the experience of our first live in gf, who passed away after only 13mos. That was one of the best relationships of my life and it was just over year.

I think it's definitely quality vs quantity.
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